Yesterday I realised for the first time that we -my kids and my mom- have different needs from a family get-together like Christmas.
I came to that conclusion later on as there was some friction here and there.
To me something like Christmas is important concerning the sharing, giving gifts and having interest in people's gifts, so making time for that. To me that's the joy of giving and it's important.

I've been brought up with that with my dad and stepmom, and it was always great fun and joy. My mom, however doesn't know that kind of feeling I think. For her it's different.
She kept asking "Does anyone want more coffee?" and "do you want something else to drink?" and "We have to clear the table for the snacks!" etc. etc.
It was quite disruptive as we were in the midst of gift giving, but later on I thought that part is likely the most important to her: giving everyone plenty of fingerfoods and drinks is her way of loving and giving.

My son needs to talk about things he finds interesting that not everyone present cares about and isn't handy subject material for a group. My son in law is interested, but my son is so loud he out-shouts everyone in the room. I think what he needs is an audience.

My daughter and her man are the easiest in this sense I think.

So all of us requiring something else, and clearly we're not tuned into one another very well, in spite of being blood family.
Kind of weird. I must admit I find it hard to deal with, I was quite disappointed.

It's funny how that happens, it's not easy to put yourself in someone else's shoes to see the drive/need as to why they do what they do... oddly and especially with those close to us, such as family members. It's awesome that you came to that realization, even though it can be frustrating and disappointing.

I've found myself doing that with my co-worker lately, putting myself in her shoes and trying to understand what her need is. She is majorly OCD and has a unique way of doing things at the most inconvenient time. But, her need is to feel useful, to feel like she's doing her part. Not always convenient to my timing, or necessary in my mind, but very important to her.

Definitely food for thought, thanks Crystal.

Nice quotes

It indeed is food for thought, haha. I'd been thinking that the right way to go about it would be to simply bring it out in the open and ask people what they'd like / need to get out of the gathering so everyone knows and can keep that in mind and makes it possible to accommodate each other's needs. But yeah, then people will need to be open to such a thing.
And like you say, it's more difficult with the ones closest to us. With a group of strangers coming together for a workshop for instance that could easily be done.
In a group of lively people that are familiar with one another and possibly even feel entitled to whatever it's a totally different ball game.

And what it seems to always come down to is that the more developed and wiser ones have to accommodate the others. Like you with your colleague. She's the one with the problem, yet you have to compromise for her.
As it is I'm rather fed up with having to do that. I guess it's a growing desire to have people around me with whom you have reciprocal respect and understanding.

Sounds like your need to accommodate no longer serves you well.

I have felt that way before, but I don't see it as accommodating anyone anymore. I see it as accepting that it's not all about me. My ego loves to tells me that I have to do this or that because others aren't capable or aren't quite there yet as far as evolving. But who am I to determine that, and what part of myself am I feeding to be in that mind set? The answer usually ends up being ego driven.

And who's to say my co-worker has a problem? Maybe it's me with the problem because I struggle to accept how she does things and when she does them. Maybe her way of doing things is better or wiser? Something tells me it's the one who spends time feeling frustrated and wondering why others just don't wake up or act right, is the one who has the problem, haha. A hard reality I've faced many of times until I accepted it's not all about me, sometimes it's about them, or us as a whole. I don't feel compromised in that way of thinking. I feel more connected.

Aside from all the food for thought stuff, I'm sorry, Crystal, that your Christmas experience ended with feelings of disappointment.

No problem, it wasn't all bad or something :)
I also don't have a problem with people being different, but when they are rude and disrespectful I do not like it so much. And that's what happened yesterday, my son towards me.
But in a way that's aside from realising everyone having different needs and they're not matching. And yes, in a way it's ego if you go from there I suppose. Then again, if it's the ones you love most so when something is off it also hurts more than with someone else.

Oh well, as it is I'm quite happy, and enjoying the Boxing Day evening, hihi.

I agree, it does hurt. I'm glad you're enjoying your day. I just read a little about Boxing day, it sounds pretty cool. :)

Actually Boxing Day is the UK name for it, we call it '2nd Christmas Day'. It is an official holiday and thus day off. Like 2nd Easter Day.
Often Dutch ppl go to parents / family they haven't seen on Christmas day itself, and it's also a day of having a good dinner, although not always as elaborate as on Christmas Day.
Since both are official holidays and part of festivities we speak of 1st Christmas Day and 2nd Christmas Day.
So not "What are you doing Christmas Day?" but "What are you doing 1st Christmas Day?"
Traditionally we don't do anything on Christmas Eve, except in the past go to church if memory serves.

BTW I want to say it did help me tremendously to talk about this. I can already feel myself moving back into the right direction and move more into my heartspace again. So thank you, River!

You're welcome, that's great to hear. And thank you too, it's helped me as well!

It always seems to go that way, doesn't it, haha.
But glad you got something out of it too!