to where I once was ...

you want nightmares before Christmas ... still have them ...

So hard to be far away ... from the love an fun that my close family creates with out me ...

some times feels like a knife in my back ... that still lingers to ...
twist an twist once again ... from what I hear or see ...

The pain is always there ... I try my hardest to let go of it ...

and numb it away ... but somehow still reminds me ...
of what my life was back then ... trying my best to understand ...

still with the scares ... that opens and hurts me ...

I don't blame anyone ... its my pain and I own it ...

I just can not keep living through it ... I only know one way ...
to rid my pain ... I keep saying give it another day ...

you may feel differnt ... but for how long can I tell myself that...

only my faith will decide ... but holding on ...is draining me ... threw
this madness ... I relive every single day ... it eats me up like a parasite ... slower and slower and slower ... please ! just go away ... I yell at myself ...

Nice poem .

ty ... for your response
just a very old wound... that keeps opening up ...

I’m sure there are those on this site who can relate to such a thing.