I would like to start off by saying thank you to jsh if it werent for you i would have never met my guy. But here is my problem...we have been talking for about a month or so and are planning on meeting for the fist time on new years eve. Which is all wonderful becasue i do really like him. But he threw a curveball at me today by telling me that he loved me. Obviously this isnt such a terrable thing. but the thing is, i dont love him. I take the word love very seriously, i have to be 100% sure that i am before i say it. I have never been in this situation before....what am i supposed to say to him?

you need to tell him how you feel..

thanks?

"Thank you."

Those are wonderful words to hear however, I would beware since it has only been a month. Also, I would not say anything I didn't feel..I suppose men can get just as crazy as we can when the l-word is used.

who's to know that he doesn't mean it?you can't really say he's just saying it.you might not feel it but he might really feel it.you never know,so just explain to him you would like to be around him in person first before you know if you love him or not

I agree, honesty is really the best policy. Also, you may at some point love him, but explain to him how serious you take the word and that you do have enough feelings for him to actually take the next step to meeting him, but you're not ready for that.

Also, I would be a tad concerned that he hasn't met you and it's only been a month and he dropped it on you already.

If you feel he's looking for something said in return then explain to him how you feel and what the L word means to you. But some people are ok with saying the L work and the other person not saying it back... Don't stress yourself...

About the New Years eve thing...I would be careful not to put yourself in a situation you can not control. If you really want to meet him bring friends or family along. Sometimes the world could be a scary place. By all means be honest and tell him how you feel.

the L work..... thats a good one.

Just explain to him gently that you care very much for him, and that you need more time to know if its love.

Try "Sweetie, you know I'm crazy about you. I must say I don't know yet if I can say the word "love". I know that in time I will, but I need a bit more of it."

Something along those lines. If he really does care for you, and i'm sure he does, he'll understand and be grateful that you respect him enough to not just throw it out there until you know you mean it.

love can mean a lot of things up to the point of where's the ring biotch i would just sit down talk about it openly and find out where things stand some times people want to move a little faster than we would like them to so find a middle ground zero from where you all feel comfortable from and work from there ...this is my advice ..who knows yall may meet and really hit it off or you might find you can't stand each other ...too early to know just yet ...

You liked that one Azrae? LOL... J


Jen, if I really like someone like you're saying you do, I use the words care, adore, crazy about...

I agree with Lausim, if you've only talked for a month and have never met, I would be concerned how loosely he uses the L word...

WOAH TIME OUT!!!

You need to tell him: "WOAH TIME OUT!!! You do NOT use the L word so loosely. You obviously have no idea what it even is! Let's just pick off from right before you said that and pretend like it never happened. SAVE THAT FOR LATER!!!"

ok...you haven't met him yet and he said "I love you"??? thats a little more then a god damn "curveball" thats more like a "screwball". I would run...yeah! run!!!

Think Meatloaf-I want you, I need you, but there ain't no way I am ever going to love you.

Thank you everyone for your advice So im thinking that he didnt really mean it. I have come to find out that he was drinking fairly heavily that night. So i think that i am just gonna brush it off my shoulder and not worry about it. If it comes up again anytime soon tho, he is going to be getting a piece of my mind.

he was drunk? OHHHHH well if youve had one too many you love EVERYONE

I agree with that comment.

Tell him to wait to say it until after he meets you.