one thing i've seen on other forums i liked is a lot of their jokes are in one nice big thread so how about that here? no messy comments to weed threw no off the subjects. just scroll threw and read joke after joke after joke? so everybody leave a joke......





a couple goes into court to get a divorce, the judge turns to the woman and asks
"why do you want a divorce?"
"i don't want a divorce?"
"then what brings you to court today?"
"my car"
"no i mean what is your purpose here?"
"to get a divorce"
"so you want a divorce?"
"no"
"then how is it you came into court?"
"i walked up the stairs, threw the front doors, down the hallway and into the court room"
"no, what is your intentions"
"intentions of what?"
"how you got here"
"i told you i drove"
"ma'am, i need to know why your here"
"because my husband told me to come"
"why did he tell you to come here"
"cuz we had a court date today"
"what was the court appointment for?"
"about an hour i assume"
"no, what was the purpose of the court appointment"
"to file papers"
"what were the papers?"
"about 15 pages of your basic copy paper"
"no! what was the purpose of the papers?"
"usually to print on"
"ugh! what was on the papers?"
"text"
"ugh! this is going nowhere!"

"sir why are you filing for divorce?"
"lack of communication"

a lil girl goes into a pet shop. she asks the employee with a lisp, "i want a fwuffy wittle wabbit."

the employee says, " would u wike a fwuffy white bunny, a black fwuffy bunny or a grey wittle fwuffy bunny?"

the lil girl replies," i dont fink my pyfthon gives a thit."

3 men are in a car which gets in a head on collision and they all die. standing at the pearly gates, st. peter looks at the first man and says "you led a good life. you were honest,treated people well and you never cheated on your wife. take this cadillac and drive on into heaven". second guy walks up and st. peter says " you led a fairly decent life, you seldom lied, you were pretty considerate of others, but you cheated on your wife once. take this vw bug and drive into heaven". third guy walks up and st. peter says "you weren't very honest at all, you lied to your wife all the time. you were pretty cruel to the less fortunate and you cheated on wife a few times. take this skateboard and go into heaven". a mile down the road into heaven he passes the guy with the cadillac sitting on the side of the road crying so he stops and says to him "cheer up bud i know your dead and you won't see your loved ones for a long time but look on the bright side, your in heaven and you got a cadillac". the other man looks up and says " you don't understand! i just saw my wife go by in the other direction on a pair of plastic barbie roller skates!"