How do you get someone to verify they have the compatible factors that they say they have? Sifting tends to detract from meaningful conversation and leaves you wondering what you may have missed. Sifting also depends on meaningful conversation, works according to sweeping assumptions to eliminate bulk, and hardly works when both people are doing it. As I see it, a reliable test is needed. How would one prove there is actually overlapping or mutual interest, that they are not a scammer, and that there is s chance they might work?

Several points..but, yes..meaningful conversation is the KEY...and sadly, most guys i have run across on dating sites are terrible at it..

If it involves someone's interests...you could ask when *they* got interested in it, and share an experience *you had with that interest..

Or, if it is some niche interest (hobby or music), ask what is their favorite, and again, what got them interested in it..
MOST people love to talk about things they are very intetrested in/ passionate about.

This of course assumes the other party is capable of decent conversation, meaning replying with more than 2-3 words or repeated one line replies...

As far as talking on the phone *I* have found that guys who suck at online cnversation are really no better on the phone..

Just my expereinces..yours of course may be different..

Sounds logical.

The men I communicate with are usually very interesting, I do have Tests but won't reveal them. This is for those I hope to meet In person.

It has worked out well, for the Dates I have had so far.

Men olay Online, so I don't pay attention to men throwing kisses and fake flowers

It is logical, just the wording is kind of strange.

Sifting? Bulk? Are you searching for a box in a warehouse? I'm not going to repeat what I said in your rate me thread, but it applies across the board.

One more thing, I'm not sure meaningful conversation is something that needs to or should happen right away. I know if a woman came at me like that, I'd want her to slow the hell down and relax.

Scammers are easy to spot. This shouldn't even be a factor.

I met someone A few days ago and they asked “how old are you?” My age was listed right next to my user name, 27. So I said 28. She said bye.

I took that out of my profile. Thanks for the advice :)

I think what you are describing from a current day, internet-centric perspective, is the same basic frustration most people looking for compatible mates have struggled with forever.

That is, that people who are still in the process of learning about themselves, and are therefore changing in their understanding of everything...have only STATIC DESCRIPTIONS of themselves and of each other, to use as "sorting" or "sifting" tools.

This was true throughout the existence of humans. Before the internet, and before the age of using written or spoken words to try to define ourselves and each other, we faced the same problem.

If we were all multi-dimensional beings, simultaneously living many lives all at once, and we didn't have death to concern us, we could all experiment together entirely freely. Draw NO conclusions about others before meeting and interacting for a long enough time to tell the difference between who each of us WISHES we were, and who we ACTUALLY are.

But we are all finite beings, with only one moment and one existence to work with to do whatever we might. That singular fact, means that there are all sorts of things about life that we just have to accept. Limitations of time and space and distance and understanding.

And that includes that we have to accept that sometimes we'll guess wrong, about ourselves or about each other. We'll turn away from people who might have been wonderful with us, and lose time chasing people who would never work out.

Since being upset about that inherent limitation within the nature of existence uses up even more time that we can't get back, it's best to notice it, recognize it, and then accept it and do our best in spite of everything.

In person, face to face, is still the best
way to separate the wheat from the chaff.

60% of the people I can tell are fake by their thumbnail picture. 20% I know after looking at their profile. 10% within the first few messages. 5% I find out are fake after three days of talking.

4% are not interested in me or will not respond. The remaining 1% are real people interested enough to talk.

Of the people I talk to 5:1 they turn out to be fake and 1:5 were real.

Darlin'...I can SO relate...

I was 27 years and 263 days, I did not want to repeat myself, and I did not know she was testing me.

With the troubles you say you're having,
why did you shoot yourself in the foot?

A one year discrepancy.
But, it's still a discrepancy.