Actually, no - on both counts, Tom.

In the first matter, it is proven psychologically that not validating other people's emotions leads to confrontation. If the person values your opinion, and you keep dismissing their feelings, then that person is going to lash out at you. So if you value your relationship with them - no matter what form it takes - then it lies within your best interests to not be callous or dismissive with that person.

In the second matter, Mingle markets itself as a DATING SITE, not a social site. Therefore, it does not matter what the people here think regarding the label. By coming here just to socialize, and having their numbers dominate the forums, they are being disrespectful to both the site and the members who come here on the premise of it being a dating site. That's not narcissism at all. If anything, it's the socializers who try to justify their view of the site who are being narcissistic.

In the first matter, it is proven psychologically that not validating other people's emotions leads to confrontation. If the person values your opinion, and you keep dismissing their feelings, then that person is going to lash out at you. So if you value your relationship with them - no matter what form it takes - then it lies within your best interests to not be callous or dismissive with that person.
Personally, I require no validation from others concerning my opinion but since I am a reasonable man, I am able to consider others opinions and change mine to reflect new information. I don't get mad at someone because they don't understand me. Jeese, if that were the case, I'd be mad at the entire world! I KNOW I'm feck`in weird and I like me.
There are people out there that don't allow others to push them into stress. I can't tell you that I have never lashed out but it doesn't happen very often and requires extreme circumstances. I control my own contentment now. I disabled all those buttons people used to be able to push to make me stress out.

In the second matter, Mingle markets itself as a DATING SITE, not a social site. Therefore, it does not matter what the people here think regarding the label. By coming here just to socialize, and having their numbers dominate the forums, they are being disrespectful to both the site and the members who come here on the premise of it being a dating site. That's not narcissism at all. If anything, it's the socializers who try to justify their view of the site who are being narcissistic.
First of all, there is no such thing as a DATING SITE. You can't date over a internet connection. It REQUIRES face to face, real-time interaction for it to actually be a date.
Then you have the aspect of different areas of interest in a website such as M2.
M2 has a profile section AND a blog AND a forum community.
The bookmark I 'click' to get to Mingle 2 takes me directly to the forum community. In order to access the community and participate, one must first be a member of the site which requires registration and establishment of a 'profile'.
Likewise, to view the Netflix site, one must have an account with them to access the other parts of its site. This is like saying, I want to use Netflix to watch movies but there are people there that only want to watch TV Shows. Those people should just leave so the only people that are here are the ones that want to watch movies, like me.
That's being narcissistic.
Narcissism:
synonyms: vanity, self-love, self-admiration, self-absorption, self-obsession, conceit, self-centeredness, self-regard, egotism, egoism

What many don't seem to understand is that people, in general, are narcissistic without realizing it because they have been exposed to those personality traits nearly all their lives. We are surrounded by it and adopt those traits as normal behavior. You can't see it in yourself unless you take a hard long, honest look at yourself and how you think.
Once you start to understand it, it gets easy to recognize.

I don't disrespect anyone for how they use this site.
Frankly, I don't really care.
There might be someone on this site that became a member just so they can look at people with black hair. Maybe others just want to add to the online presence of the site, it doesn't matter.
I'm here for my own reasons, just like everyone else.
Just...Like...You.

Tom, I understand your personal view, but as you know, most people aren't like you. That means the majority probably don't use the same rationale.

I encountered this whole forum phenomenon elsewhere when I was a moderator. Less than 20% of any online community tends to be active in that community's forum. I'm pretty sure Mingle is less than 10%. Secondly, the number one complaint I received from community members who didn't participate in the forums was the unwelcoming attitudes of the active forum participants. Given the Pareto Principle and the lower percentage of participants on Mingle, I think it's safe to say based on what I've witnessed over several years, that the same complaint is why there are not more active participants in Mingle forums.

One of the more common complaints among active participants here happens to be the number of rule violations that appear to go uncaught. Many try to blame the moderators, but the reality is that the forums are too large for the number of mods we have. Therefore, the forum participants need to be more active in reporting rule violations. The caveat is that's more work than participants want to put in, so they give up. Or they overuse it to the point of abuse, which can result in being suspended or banned themselves. It's a tool that needs to used in moderation (pun not intended) by a larger number of participants in order to be effective.

People tend to have all sorts of inaccurate perceptions when they aren't privy to what happens behind the scenes. You've been a moderator elsewhere, IIRC, so you should have some idea what I'm talking about.

Then again, maybe you don't, because I was an Admin for the private group for moderators on that forum. I used to get much more input from the community than a typical moderator because of both that and the huge community following I had. I had the top post count, largely due to aiding other members with bugs, technical issues, research, and idea development. That kind of outreach tends to develop a personal fanbase.

As far as your view of "dating site", you're making the mistake of debating semantics. Of course dating doesn't happen online or on a website. By debating semantics, you're creating a strawman argument. The point of a dating site is to enable people to increase their personal outreach within the dating pool. It's a numbers game, as the OP was pointing out. To increase your odds of finding the right person, you have to increase the number of people you interact with. Online allows people to do that. But going to a social forum where most people aren't interested in finding a date undermines that process. So they come to a dating site with a forum instead. But then they find that most of the people in the forums treat it as a social forum? Of course they aren't going to hang around. They're going to be upset and frustrated instead. If they search profiles, they have to weed through the fakes and inactives. If they try to avoid that by using the forums, they find the majority aren't looking. So what reason do they have to stay? None. They go elsewhere, and so does any money they might have invested in Mingle2.