You know dating helps us discover ourselves .. right? Become more in TUNE with who WE are while we get to know the opposite gender.


So ya, I realize I tend to keep more than one man at a time. *EDIT ... not like 'keep' as in leading on .. but more not committing to anyone in general. I like to keep my options open until 'the ONE' ....

I wondered for the longest time WHY????

WHY do I DO that? Am I insecure, or a Playaaaaaaaaah... or WTH is it???

And last night it suddenly came to me.


(((((((( I LIKE TO HAVE A BACKUP PLAN ))))))))))))

You know, 1 down .... you just say (((((( "NEXT?" ))))))



Whatchu ladies think?

I think you're nuts!!!!!!

It's always good to have a back up plan. :)

Thanks new ....

Ruthie, you just jealous I think these things through

Having a "Backup" plan is terrible. :/ Thats so not cool to lead two guys on at once, just so you wont get hurt? Guys have a heart too...Granted its barried under years of not being a woman.

Is it a back up plan...or just waiting for someone better to come along?



For myself...I don't believe in 'playing', (as you put it), two at a time...I consider myself to be a one man woman.

Now now Maudred .. maybe I stated it wrong. I don't LEAD anyone on. I just KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN.

There is absolutely nothing unethical about that.

And it's not about not getting hurt. Just not puttin the heart on the tracks when there's no need to.

It's common sense in my book ...

sorry didnt mean to offend, I miss interpreted it, I had a girlfriend once, that I had dated for 3 years. Ended up she was dating her ex also, I was just the "Backup" XD

okay .. okay .. I restated it in my OP

it's just about not getting tooooo serious about any ONE person.

Is that better ....

Stop throwing the black books at me

I don't have a plan....let alone a backup plan

No I'm glad you said what you said Maudred ... I think I stated it incorrectly.



and I'm sorry about your situation.

I don't do this if I am in a relationship, I just tend to run FROM relationships .......... *sigh*

"I don't do this if I am in a relationship, I just tend to run FROM relationships .......... *sigh*"

Why are you running from one to another Fade...do you really give them a chance? Can you not see through their imperfections maybe? Just curious.

I apologize for what I said, you know why you date more then one guy now, but now you just gotta find out why you run :p

Most people run from some thing they think will hurt them..
Bees, snakes, Lions and tiger and bears..OH MY!!

However you want to put it, I don't think it's moral to be in a romantic type of relationship with more than one person at a time. It is best to keep things strictly at the level of friendship (without benefits) until you are able to decide who you actually want to date. That is the best way to be loving, because it is the best way to guard against anyone getting hurt. It's best not to look at situations by drawing a line you don't cross over, but rather by examining how you can best love the people you know. Look out for the best interests of others, and that will reveal what is right.

Who said anything about 'benefits' ???????????????

admit it Fade,you're just a playa

Maybe Ms. Fade & I are similar.
I am not looking for any SINGULAR relationship. Won't commit to any ONE person, like my freedom & being able to flirt freely.
I Am waiting for my kids to move home; 6 yrs.; & then may look at things different. I WANT to pass my home on to my son, too much blood, sweat & tears in it. Best yrs. of my life were here with Gwen, her daughter & my son. Want my grandkids to experience living in a park. All of my present wants, say "NO LTR."
Sound familar Fade?

well im wondering...... do u let them both know? that u date others? if so..... that is not playing.... thats being truthful.... and i think its just u havent found the right person yet.....

we as men know when you ladies have a "back up plan"you can just feel when someone is not giving it there all...and are divided in love and life...i have went through this for the last almost 5 years even catching her in the act 4 times...finally had the balls to say no more..there has to be decent weman out there somewhere in this great big world and i am gonna find me one!