not sour but i keep bumping into the ceiling fan in these new platform boots

I understand how that can become a bit of a pain, hihi

Sounds like you are in a good place and thinking clearly. My advice would be to casual date. (No sex) Just have fun until you find someone worthy of more.

Crystal, the important thing is that you're happier. I'm glad for that.

Of course, you're probably right about your location. If you want to date more, or find an actual relationship, you'll probably have to move. Sounds like all that island hopping is rather problematic.

But all things in due time.

E2W is probably right -- casual dating for now. If something good comes along, you can decide what to do then. But for now, just have fun and enjoy life a little. Heck, that alone might attract interest.

I can so identify with that feeling. I've been having it more and more in the last couple months. I see it as getting closer to being ready to enter the dating arena again.

I've kept myself closed off for quite a while, it's been closer to 2 years for me, sometime in November of 2016 when I became single. My first year I didn't do much other than work and go home. I joined Mingle, but looking back I set myself up to "Not" meet anyone by picking those that lived so far away it would be impossible to meet face to face... kept me in my safe little cocoon subconsciously.

The last year, since I began my seasonal work and travel, I've been getting back to "me" and doing a lot more soul searching and healing from the past several years... stuff that was buried deep. I have reached the point now where I'm starting to live rather than survive... and it's time to begin inviting others to join in on my journey in life. Can be scary, though it's also exciting.

But there's still that part of me that doesn't want to "bother"... so I know I either haven't found the right one yet, or I'm not quite ready yet.

I see your past year as being similar... a time of healing and reflection. I remember reading about the harvest and how it takes a full year of completion. I'm thinking grieving and healing works about the same way. So if that's the case, you're right on track :)

I admire your courage to face your fears, it's an inspiration to me to do the same.

Now... let's go have some fun!

Best of luck to you Crystal in this next chapter of being you

Indeed time to have some friggin' fun!
That's something I realized the other day as well: I used to always see dating as a way to meet a potential partner.
Maybe it's about time to begin to date to just have some fun!
I didn't go on meet and greets thinking "I may be meeting my new partner now!". I did at first, but realized quite soon that only set me up for major disappointment time and again.
However, the main goal for me was still to find a partner. It wasn't until last week that I realized that I can also go on dates just to have fun, and if I happen to meet someone...

You know what? I think children should be educated in their teenage years on how the f*(k you should date and relate.
Isn't it a big problem that we don't get ANY education in this field whatsoever, yet we all hope and want to find a partner in life.
If you're lucky your parents teach you a bit, but I think most don't, so we end up looking at how our parents do it, and other teenagers. Thing is, WTH do they know about dating and relationships? Usually nothing much...

As for the 'cannot be bothered' thing... I think for me it's mostly to do with having to get out of my comfort-zone, hihi. Once a Taurus...

Oh, and best of luck to you too!!
To fun and new love!

I've had the same issue Crystal. I've always had a difficult time dating more than one man... mostly because I was looking the "the knight in shining armor"... rather than dating platonically just to have fun and get to know more what I like and dislike in a relationship.

On Mingle we categorize that as an "activity partner"... someone you get together with to go enjoy activities with no pressure to make a commitment to each other.

This is actually part of normal socialization, I learned about it in some of my psychology classes. It's a great way to get to know what you want and don't want in a relationship before you get into a major commitment and later down the road decide it's not working for you. Then if you meet someone that you begin seeing more of, you can decide together if you want to be exclusive.

I know a few people who have dated more than one person... strictly platonic. I think we call it "activity partner" to take away the so called stereotype that some people put us in if we were to date more than one man. I've always had a hard time with it because I consider myself a one man woman. I am a one man woman, the problem is I didn't wait until there was a commitment, so I missed out on a lot of chances to find the right one for me and put up with a lot of crap trying to be loyal.

Yes... comfort zone, that describes more what I meant about not bothering. Getting out of my comfort zone to include someone else is still a bit of a tug or war, so to speak, for me.

Thanks, you too!

or you two could spend some time being bad girls

Yes, I also am not entirely sure how this should work.
If you start dating men who aren't looking for a commitment as in "No way!" you can have fun, activity partner, but what if you fall in love with him? A man is not going to suddenly change his mind and want a commitment if he'd been clear in stating he isn't looking for that.

If you then go for men who do want a relationship they expect to get more after a few dates, at least kissing.
I don't want to have 'kissing or more' relationships with more than one guy. I'm not a prude, far from, but I am also very sensitive and get emotionally attached very easily.

And I get that I get to set the rules for what I want. But I don't want the nagging and whinging from men if I don't want to kiss them, -or more, because we're just casually dating. Meaning you then just date twice (??) then dump them before they start demanding and expecting more??

I've never been good at this dating chit...

Nice --> I just typed "It's nice to hear/read about people finding love" in another topic and then realized, chit, I really do enjoy that!
Not so long ago reading /hearing such things saddened me as it only reminded me of what I am lacking.
Now I feel genuine joy. I AM healing

A similar thing I noticed the other day:
I saw a couple somewhere, around my age, walking hand in hand. And that too made me smile and made me feel happy. It put a glow in my heart.
YAY!!! More proof I am as good as ready, hihi.

And... last week I was watching "The Body Guard" with Whitney Houston, Kevin Costner.
The scene where they go out and end up slow dancing...
I got a pang in my heart chakra. Not one of sadness, but one of romance, love, joy.
I hadn't felt that since my breakup. And I couldn't get myself to feel it either. I do have quite some 'tools' that used to always work to get to a higher vibration of love, until last week none seem to work.
As I was watching that scene I got that 'loving feeling', hihi. To be in a man's arms, to slowly dance, whisper sweet things... sigh!
Definitely the right visualisation 'tool' to get me in the mood and right vibration

I am now thinking... maybe I oughta watch romantic movies more (I never do).
.
.