Alright, I've been hurt a couple of times by the people I loved and thought loved me back. Apparently they loved me for what they could get.

Now, who isn't on their best behavior when first dating?
We are all flawed, in our ways.
Chalk it up to experience!

Each relationship opens your eyes wider.
But you still have to be blind to love ;-)

True. You never really now a person fully

However, a whole lot of honesty is expected

See, you are wise already ;-)

Only the honest expect that in return.
Players of the game will settle ;-)

So true

Most people have been hurt by love. Live and learn from it

I've met a few people that said something similar.
And just as often what "really" happened was they drove the other person away, or it just didn't work out, and then they grasped at straws or whatever they could in order to label the other person.
"Oh, she's a psycho, oh, she's clingy, oh, she's a golddigger, oh, he's just after sex, oh, he's a cheater."

Something.

I don't know you nor your situation. You don't really offer any relevant information.

But I do know people that will get tired of a relationship, maybe having got what they wanted, and then start withholding things they were "generous" with before (money, kindness, time, compliments, emotional honesty, thoughts, etc., whatever) basically changing their behavior, and when the other person called them on it, that offered a handy scapegoat, to use the other persons example of what's changing against them.
"Oh, you noticed I don't want to go out and spend money? So that's all you wanted!"
"Oh, we're having less sex?! I guess that's all you 'really' wanted!"


That also means no one will ever know you fully.
It also means you can't really know yourself fully.
So everyone is in the same boat.


Honesty doesn't mean anything if you're incapable of determining what is actually honest and what isn't.
And it seems you've now had at least two people where you couldn't tell.
...and you've already said you never really know a person fully.
So you're never guaranteed anything is being honest.
You've kind painted yourself into a corner.

What's the point of expecting a lot of something if you have no idea how much you're actually getting?

I am so sorry to hear that. You give all your love to your lover and hope her love back, but in fact, she just love you for what she can get from you, she isn 't really love you, she treat you a as money machine, that' s horrible. You should learn from this unhappy experience and still believe in true love, I am sure you will find the one who really love you.

Is it expected that you keep showing love triangle someone who would ditch you in a time of need and expect to plan an entire life with.

I feel love is give and take. It is understood that we can't give in the same measure, however a substantial amount is required from both parties. If it is overbearing on one party it would affect the other.

I'm not saying am an honest person neither am I saying I am dishonest. However if you come to me as a saint I should expect a saint and not a lucifer

Hmm. I've been lucky in some ways, and horrifyingly unlucky in others.

A few people I've lived with genuinely THOUGHT that they loved me, for a time. They were wrong, I think, but I don't attribute that to dishonesty as such. In one case, I'm fairly certain it was due to mental illness, and in another, to a VERY common misunderstanding about what love and marriage actually means, and is about.

From my point of view, when someone genuinely believes that what true love means, is that I will serve them up with everything from adventures to tolerance without complaint, of all manner of misbehavior on their part,...


...and that turns out to be incorrect, because I don't do any of those things...

...so they declare me to be a failure and go elsewhere...

I don't see that as dishonesty.

thank you for sharing

It's true but also depand on people