Even though they meet *none* of you prefences, and won't tell you what they feel the two of you have in common...or downright say "none of that matters.."??

Had a discussion on another site recently..
The guy had zero profile (common on here and every other dating site)...
He messaged me first...I wrote back and politely said "your profile says nothing...can ya help me out and tell me what you feel we share in common? Thanks!"

He refused...said we just needed to talk and learn about each other.
I politiely replied..."well..I'd like to have SOME idea of what, if anything we have in common...something to start the conversation about, eh?"

He replies "WTF..you don't understand this is a dating site...we're supposed to talk and get to know each other...I read your profile and rules are meant to change you can amend your rules if you truly find a man who captures you heart.."

blink blink

I know nothing about you, bro, don't know that first thing about you..so quit with the "captures your heart" crap
(I didn't say that..but thought it)

I told him I have no interest in changing my preferences, and..so far..he wasn't doing much to "capture my heart"....and "rules are meant to change", are they?
Meaning lets just ignore what she wants...
I made a simple request...read my profile...and let me know what you feel we share in common..

He replies with "whatever...just in case you didn't know you missed the right man for you all because of your ego.."



Honey..the *right* man for me would read my profile...give me some idea of what we have in common, and engage in conversation..not argue with me and be pushy about how he is the right man..WHICH, by the way..?
You want to talk about "ego"??
Stating you are the "right guy" for me and I missed out is ALL ego talking...


Seriously...if I message a guy, and he politely says "thanks, but I don't think we'd be compatible/ a match" or something similar (or even njust staright up says "not interested")...I am NOT going to argue the point...or tell him how he "missed out" on the right woman" for him.

If he'd found me so fascinating he was *sure* we be a match ("the right man")...you would think he'd have said *what* it was that he thought was so special about me, or something?

There are a bunch of other women on those sites...just try someone else...geez...

P.S. You'd think, being as you are trying to charm/ impress/ convince someone that you are a a cool, interesting person that they would want to get to know that you would be on your best behaviour.....certainly not argumentative.

I'm calling sc4mmer. That's one sign - they want you to text them or give them your phone number in the first message.

You're far more patient, than I.

Bluegrass,

YOU go girl tell him to go jump in the lake.. he was most likely a scammer anyway no loss there. That's a typical response for them.

If someone ignores my questions or is excessively vague no problem I just hit the delete button.

I have had some answer questions in the form of a story, poem or other unexpected way too. So far only one of those was not a fake person. It was just his way of breaking the ice. The rest have all been fakes.

If they get rude, demanding, or possessive in chat right away they too are usually fake. I don't take it and hit the block/delete or both.

Some real jerks out there for sure.

I was raised to be polite and decent ..which I *am*..up to a point.
Not saying *you* aren't....just I try and treat people like they are good people..until they show themselves not to be (arguing, being rude)

The half-dozen times this has hapened...I didn't get the feeling they were scammers..

Their pictures weren't "too" perfect...they used correct and good English.

It's more about none of what the woman wants is important/ matters....let me tell her what it is she really wants...and how she's missing out if she doesn't jump at the chance.
Can we say "egotistical"/ arrogant?

If any man tells you they are the right man they must be lying because they are not me and I would never say it :)

Np worries.
I believe it comes down to a level of tolerance.
That's all I was saying.

I was raised to be a diplomat, a negotiator, a peacemaker.
Laugh, or scoff... But, it's true.

On the internet, i've learned it necessary, to draw
the line sooner, rather than later.

If a person I'm not familiar enough with, asks me
for personal information...
I tell them, no. (privacy is non-negotiable.)
If they ask again, ie; get insistent.
I simply end all discussion with them.

That sounds like a few that contacted me! They are the right one.

I usually message back a few days to break my Bordom .

No one on the forum, matter fact they never heard of Forums. Here.

These are Real profiles. I can tell fakes.

That sucks. So many guys on dating site and you have to encounter Mr.Rightcauseisayit

Better luck next time, eh?

bluegrass, sounds like you dodged a bullet with that guy.

Ok Rock I want all your info and now stop evading me. JK

My Most recent experience:

GUY--I am happy we have found are self, you can give me your email address and we keep in touch via our private email. I will write more about myself to you and also send some pictures to know your interest. Have a nice evening
Thank You.

ME--NOPE not happening.

GUY--I like your profile and I want us to get to know each other well, it's a difficult day and I can't write much, you can also leave me your email address and I will write more about myself to you and also send some pictures to you. Have a nice evening

ME--NOPE I will only communicate here. Just because you like my profile does not mean I must give you my personal email. If you want to get to know me we do it on site or not at all.

ME—delete button and block.

MY THOUGHTS --I know this guys got a fake profile. Come On I am not falling for this crap.

A real Mr. Right wouldn't proclaim himself that.

There are no Mr. or Ms. Right.
There are just men and women who may or may not get along.

Just like there are no Alpha and Beta males in the Human family. Those were designed to describe wolves, animals.
There are just men with different talents and different shortcomings.

I recognize this entire scenario. Witnessed it MANY times. It hasn't changed in the fifty years I've been trying to find a mate.

I can tell you exactly what it's all about, if you like.

The first thing to recognize, is that everything the guy said, is a direct logical response to what he PERCEIVES to be the primary challenges he has to overcome in order to find a mate (even a temporary one).

The reason people who say those things don't come across as scammers, is because they are not scammers. They really do believe they are taking the right road to succeed. The problem they have, is that they have assembled their approach to dating from a rushed, simple-minded, haphazard, slapped-together mish mash, as well as a resentment-based understanding of how dating actually does work.

The "I'm the Right Guy For You" phrase is taken directly from the mouths and writings of all the younger women and girls the guy has come across or heard about or seen in films and on TV for his whole life. That can get combined with the standard "Don't take no for an answer!" idea that most American males get shoved at them from birth, and/or with "the reason why girls say things that don't make sense to you, is that they actually DON'T know what they want" myth. It also often gets exacerbated by the "girls and women prefer a guy who takes command,and shows that he knows what he wants" idea.

Add all those standard notions together without thinking anything through, and you get the exact kind of behavior you describe.

It's happened more than a few times for me, where there are a couple exchanges of messages with a guy and it's going ok. he'll say something weird and I'll say I'm not interested. He then blows up at me, cursing and calling me names. I always think to myself, I dodged a bullet there.

Like I've said before...it's good when the trash takes *itself* out...