My best friend . . thru thick & thin . . for 7 years started dating this woman who was recently divorced. She's never like me or wants me around because she's jealous of me being also a woman, and also a neighbor. Anyway, my friend totally put me on the back burner and went from calling me regularly to maybe once every couple weeks. I told him he was being an ass, but appreciated his honesty and completely left him alone. I never called or anything - rarely.

Last weekend the girl gumped him after a year! Now my friend is back to his old routine of calling me 3 times a day and stopping by my work, etc. He's scared of being alone (he's 50) and seems to be willing to do anything to keep a relationship working - ACCEPT - be loyal to his friends.

So what do you all think? Should I take him back and be understanding - or do I tell him he blew the friendship?? He knows what he's done - I've told him how I feel, and he's very apologetic. I won't play any games, but am dying to hear what you all say!!

Well maybe you can take him back, but do it slowly. He should have told this lady that you are his long time friend, and that she would have to accept that. Seems that he would be very lucky to get you back. I could understand if you told him you just don't want the same kind of friendship you once had, and keep him at a distance. Bottom line is, it's up to you.

I HATE when ppl do that......friends are friends who stick by ya no matter what is goin on in their lives....

he probably wants to be more than friends with YOU! have you thought of that???

I THINK IF A FRIEND COULD DUMP YOU THAT EASY HES NOT A TRUE FRIEND AT ALL,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS TO THE END

I would sit him down, have a long talk about consistency and consideration, and hope he learned something from all this.

I agree, the same thought crossed my mind

Depends on how much you value him as a friend. As the old saying goes, if that had never happened, would you still want to be his friend? If the answer is yes, then yeah stay friends with him. To prevent yourself from getting hurt in the future, what you could do is keep him at a distance from now on, don't take his calls so often, and don't be as available to him. That way, when he does it again- which he more than likely will- you might not feel so bad because you won't have been as invested in the friendship as before.

My married friend was like that for awhile...then he and his wife sat down and talked and discovered that it was miserable and stupid to not see their friends.

I think you have to give them slack....many people think that men and women can't be friends....When Harry Met Sally kind of thing.
Patience I guess....I hated his wife at first for taking him away

I'm still trying to prove that wrong- that men and women can't be friends- but for some reason, it doesn't work. Even when I'm talking to men who have no business being interested in me at all, for any reason, sex comes up. It sucks.

A lot of women have an issue with their guy remaining friends with 'female' friends, some feel threatened by the friendship stemming from their own insecurities. I had a guy friend like this too. My presence or involvement in his life was a constant source of quibble between he and his girl, tho neither of us did anything inappropriate. In the end I made the decision to back off and let him contact me if he chose to in the interest of keeping the peace and respecting his new relationship.

my best friends wife hates me. We were friends way before they even started dating. We would talk a lot and laugh a lot.. but when they got together and she found out about our friendship she gave him an altimatum. Me or her.. even tho he loved her he told her that he wasn;t going to give up any of his friends for her. Friends will be there through everything, unlike GF's and BF's. So years later, we are still friends, she still hates me, and they are married with a little boy.

I would tell him go buzz off. If he cared about your friendship, he would have told her off.

Did someone say sex? I didn't.

~~WELL HE SHOULD OF REALIZED FRIENDSHIP IS SOMETHING U DONT TAKE FOR GRANTED, AND TOLD HER UR HIS BEST FRIEND, IF SHE COULDNT EXCEPT THAT THEN SHE WAS NOT WORTH IT, IT IS HIS LOST NOT URS, DUMP HIM!!~~

I'm still trying to prove that wrong- that men and women can't be friends- but for some reason, it doesn't work. Even when I'm talking to men who have no business being interested in me at all, for any reason, sex comes up. It sucks.


2 of my 3 best friends are guys, and I think it is normal to pull back a little when one of us starts dating, I have been told soooo many times that if given the chance they would sleep with me,(by other people or guys that I talk to) and in some cases (other guy/girl relationships) that is true, I beleive it depends on the degree of friendship. It also depends on how the tone of the relationship is set. I could be wrong, I usually am, but for me, it works. My friends are my friends, and my "others" are my others.

What he did is wrong and it's known as being a fair weather friend. Along the roads of life, I've made the mistake of giving people more than one chance and I was the idiot. If someone decides their datemate is more important than your friendship, I'd re-evaluate how good of a friend they were to start out with.

I think there is a fine line between being a good friend with a guy when he is dating another woman. Im sure you would have a bit of a problem with it if the new man in your life were to have a best female friend and always be calling her.

This would definatly depend on the type of friend he is. I use to do that until i had a friend, awsome friend who told me he wouldnt put up with it, so i stuck it out with him while dating my X. Friends are around and dont break up with you, some people dont realize that. I think he did a bad thing, however mistakes happen, maybe tell him how you feel that you cannot be friends with someone that only wants to be friends while he is single.

Back to the subject =) .. Personally, i let him see how it feels and maybe play his game for a couple weeks. We seem to take advantage of somthing until we dont have it anymore, in this case that would be friendship

I'd understand if a guy didn't have as much time to be my friend when he had a gf, but if he totally stopped talking to me all together, that's just crappy. Everything in moderation.

...Don't you mean "except?"

If you tell him that he blew the friendship and then throw the friendship away like that, are you really being any better of a person than he was being?

I mean, come on...did you even talk to him about this? What do friends do to nowadays? Don't they still communicate? Jeez... Sorry but I really hate it when people refuse to directly and openly communicate with each other when a problem exists between them.