heres an idea get a buncha good books that might b considered "inappropriate" 4 a 7 year old like catcher in the rye, stories by stephen king, clive barker
then tell him hed better not read these books because they're "bad for him" pretend u dont notice when he gets into em, i cant guarantee theyll affet his development in a positive manner but he will get into reading
and quit punishing the kid 4 it, punishment just reenforces any dislike of literature that he might have

I didnt read all of the responses, but computer games worked for my daughter. Of course she started reading at 3, but she was addicted to the reader rabbit interactive reaing journey. And the leap pad!!! They are like 24$ now at Target. There are games, and all kinds of different things that help the kids get interested. I just bought a new one and new books for Christmas, and my daughter just tested at a 2nd grade reading level (shes 6)...but I swear by the Leap Pad products. We also read every night before bed. You read a page, then he reads a page. That way he doesnt feel obligated or intimidated. Hit the library, let him pick out some stuff. Get him interested first, then hit him with the stuff he HAS to read. My 13 yr old son hates to read...but its easier if I give him the choice.

I have a leappad... he hates it. I have a v-smile... he thinks it's for babies.
Computer... my computer won't run games well.. it freezes all the time. I am buying a new computer with my tax refund... but for now, don't have one that runs games well. I let him on PBS kids and the NIckelodeon Websites once in awhile... but hes lost interest.

And for the record... I do NOT punish for him not reading. I punish him for the attitude he gives me and the temperment. It is one thing for him to NOT read.... quite another to be disruptive and disrespectful over it.

I dunno. I'm hoping it's a phase he will grow out of. Generally speaking I will let him read anything he wants... but for school work, they make him read "age-appropriate" things. He was reading the Harry Potter books with me... we would count it as the 20 minutes required by his school. The teacher wrote me a not and stated it was unacceptable material because it was beyond his reading level and she felt I was covering up for my kid.

My kid is an over-achiever. He doesn't want books with pictures or large type. True, this stuff would be easier for him. He knows HOW to read... he jsut refuses to do it.

Urgh.... I dunno. Magic Tree House... he has 6 of the books... he read a few... didn't seem interested. He got into Captain Underpants... (weird)... but I'm going to see if I can find some more of the books for him for xmas.

Also- to hopefully improve his writing/reading, I made "letterhead" with his name on it, big enough lines so he had room to write... I bought him envelopes and postage stamps in Disney, Star Wars and Marvel Comic themes... and also "special pens" and an address book sp he can snail mail to out of state relatives... maybe writing will spark an interest... we'll see.

Again- thanks for all the suggestions. I do appreciate it.

well its always possible that ur son has a learning disability, in which case there r specialists, i mean those r words no parent wants 2 hear and who am i 2 say em? (a highschool dropout heh) but hey its a thought

Ok your've taken away privledges, taken away things he holds near and dear, you've even spanked him for his disobediant, defiant, and disruptive behavior. Yet, he still refuses to read. Sorry to say it... there's nothing else you can do. We can sit here and suggest fun and interesting ways for your son to read but the plain facts are, your son is being a selfish brat. He doesn't want to read. Let him be. Let him fail in his reading class. Punish him for his poor grades. If one more teacher gets in your face accusing you of being a bad parent, tell them to kiss your effing arse. Tell them you have tried everything to get your son to read and even went as far as to ask a bunch of total strangers on the internet for advice, yet he still refuses to read. Tell them that if they think they can do a better job they can come home with you and they can try it themselves. You, singingmyheartout, need to understand, that your son is probably the kind of person who has to learn the lessons of life the hard way. Let him fall, fail, and deal with the consequenses of his failure and learn that being a defiant brat isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Also, I suggest you tell your father to mind his own effing business. I don't know why your father lives below you, but it's time to cut those apron strings so to speak. Father dear needs to get the hell out of your life. He can't undo the hell he put you through as a child. Don't let him try to sooth his guilt through falsely accusing you of child abuse. If I was you, I'd get as far away from him as I possibly can.

Have you ever thought of family therapy for you and your son? Just a thought. His father is overseas... you are struggling basically as a single mother... family therapy couldn't hurt.

And please do not mistake my abrasivness as a personal attack. This is how I am... I'm a bit rude, crude and b!tchy. It's nothing personal.

Besides, I've been where you are. My oldest son, who is now 16, was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 8. He was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when he was 11. Talk about disobedient, disorderly, rude, and disruptive in the classroom and at home... my son was all those things and then some. I have been through hell and back trying to get my son to do the work he needs to do in school and at home. Now that he's older and we have the ADHD and Bipolar managed with meds and therapy, he admits that at times he's just a selfish brat and says to hell with everyone and everything. Kids are not innocent... they can be extremely selfish and self centered.

If he had a learning disability he wouldn't be able to read things that are above his grade reading level. It's only when he has to read the stuff from school, at his grade reading level, does he become disobediant and disruptive.... at least that's what she says.

Actually, my son's father is a deadbeat with no interest in his life. (My ex-hubby). The Overseas guy is making every effort he can given the circumstances and it will be a little easier when there is a 2-parent household (we are going to all be together when he comes stateside this upcoming fall).
My son is a lot like me... can't learn til ya fall on your A$$.

Dad lives in the same apartment building I do. Different households, different rents, etc. I was having trouble finding a place- it's hard to be a single mom and find a landlord that wants to rent to you. The only reason I have this apartment is because my father (who has been a tenant for years) gave a good reference to the Landlord for me. Believe me, I'd LOVE to cut the apron strings... it isn't 100% possible just yet.

My son is in therapy... I've gone through a few therapists actually... my son won't talk to them He colors and draws and bull****s them. They are collecting a check... so who cares, right? My income is limited... I'd love to afford the best, but I simply cannot.

We are relocating to Arizona in February. We are going to stay with my in-laws until my fiance comes stateside. My mother-in-law home-schooled her kids. I will have my son in a regular school, but she is going to help me work with him after school. I'm thinking the change of pace for my son will be good. One can hope... nothing else has worked... maybe a change of environment will be beneficial... away from the negativity and my dad...

I appreciate the advice... Thanks.

Find out what materials he would be interested in and try and encourage him to read. Boys don't always like reading, that's just the way some of them are. :) My son is almost 20 and hates reading.

romantic the reason ur son hates reading is cause he was kid in the 90s when reading was THE goal for elemetary school teachers, theyre doing it this decade with math and all constant reenforcement does is make the kids hate the subject, the majority of my peers r just barely not illiterate (it worked on me oddly enough im a book junkie)

my sons school requires twenty minutes of reading a night also.if he doesnt feel like reading then i read to him.it counts with my school.
have him write down his reasons he doesnt like to read at home and then go over them together and see if some deals can't be struck.

your son sounds adhd .he acts just like mine and the same thing happened at counseling with my son.we stopped going after he hid in a conference room.

Ok before anyone else who isn't a professional psychiatrist tries to diagnose this woman's child please read the following. It's from the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders)... the "Holy Bible" that all Psychiatrists use. If you feel that your son shows a lot of these symptoms for ADHD or ADD then please get an appointment with a therapist and/or psychiatrist.

DSM IV Criteria for Diagnosis of AD/HD

Either 1 or 2
1. Six or more of the following symptoms of inattention have persisted for at least six months to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with developmental level:

a. Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities
b. Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities
c. Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly
d. Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions)
e. Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities
f. Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as school work or homework)
Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g., toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools)
g. Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli
h. Is often forgetful in daily activities

2. Six or more of the following symptoms of hyperactivity/impulsivity have persisted for at least six months to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with developmental level

Hyperactivity
b. Often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat
c. Often leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected
d. Often runs about or climbs excessively in situations in which it is inappropriate (in adolescents or adults, may be limited to subjective feelings of restlessness)
e. Often has difficulty playing or engaging in leisure activities quietly
f. Is often "on the go" or often acts as if "driven by a motor"
g. Often talks excessively

Impulsivity
h. Often blurts out answers before questions have been completed
i. Often has difficulty awaiting turn
j. Often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g. butts into conversations or games)

B. Some hyperactive, impulsive or inattentive symptoms that caused impairment were present before 7 years of age

C. Some impairment from the symptoms is present in two or more settings (e.g., at school or work and at home)

D. There must be clear evidence of clinically significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning

E. The symptoms do not occur exclusively during the course of a pervasive developmental disorder, schizophrenia, or other psychotic disorder, and are not better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g., mood disorder, anxiety disorder, dissociative disorder, personality disorder.)

My kiddo has always liked books more than her toys
I have been reading to her since the day I found out I was going to be a father even though it was through her mothers stomach lol
I still read to her any chance I get
She sees me reading all the time and I guess she just thinks since I do that more than watch tv that she should do the same
she may only be 21 months old now but I still try to encourage her to read books even though she can't yet
But she tries so hard and its cute when she tried to tell you a story by looking at the pictures
Juts read read read to your kiddo it will wear off on them soon enough I promise

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!!!! READ TO HIM!!!!! He will never think it is something FUN and important if you aren't following your own advice. Don't make a big deal out of it, just start reading and between the two of you it will work itself out!!! Take the time to spend time with him reading (both of you) make it your passion and he will want to share it.

and one more thing ,,,,,,,good attention, bad attention, attention is attention!!!!! and he sure has yours. Its turned around, you should have his attention! calmly start reading, and keep reading, and your son will follow suit.

I have reread your first post and my last one and I seem insensitive to your dilema, Sorry for that. I do believe however that for the most part its kind of a test of wills. Boys love to lock horns to see what they are capable of, and sometimes they get side tracked toward a negative. You have his best interest at heart, that is obvious. Tell me? what would you do if he had a tantrum in a grocery store? Would social services get involved? No I'm sure they wouldn't. Find the key to what works on any other tantrum type things and I think you will have your solution, because the reading thing is probably like any other tantrum on a larger scale.

I am getting nowhere with his current teacher (she is a sub) and lots of the parents have complained. The school is sugarcoating things... my kids doesn't get ABCDF... he gets GNME
G- Goal for improvement
N- Not Assessed this term
M- Meets expectations
E- Exceeds expectations

BU11 SH!T!!!
Call a spade a spade. Sometimes a kid NEEDS TO HEAR: "you're failing".... I'm a believer in "tough love"... sugarcoating the truth only makes theri wake-up call into the real world a more difficult transition.

I fear I have done all I can do until we move in February. I have already contacted schools in Arizona and I have a good feel for them. I am getting nowhere within the school my son currently attends and there are NO other public schools in my district (cannot afford private school).

I am taking him to this HUGE used book store on Saturday... We are going to spend the majority of the day there. He got a $30 gift card for the store from one of my friends for Christmas... he will be able to sit and read and at the end, buy whatever books he chooses. Maybe this will help? I dunno. But it couldn't hurt.

Thanks again, one & all...

throw a book at its head

In someways it's to bad tv was taken away. I know it isn't the best thing in the world for kids to learn on but you could turn the volume off and turn closed captions on. Then in order for him to enjoy say his favorite cartoon he would have to read the captions. Or put on a channel like Discovery where he will learn two things at once.

cool,that should be fun for him.Oue school doesnt do a abc thing either.it sucks because you really dont have a clear picture.