Seems, there is some bad reputation on guys here? Never mind, if I had the money, I would be on the next plane to visit a certain someone. Hopefully one day, I win the lottery and there will something happen

There are so many assumptions floating around on here that it is ridiculous!!! Yes, there are some reasonable restrictions on distance and compatibility but so many make those into more than they are. Distance affects cost, frequency of being together, and often requires spending the night. If someone lives several hundred miles away and your requirement is to see them several times a week, that doesn't work! If you are happy spending a couple weekends a month together, it is no big deal.

A similar situation applies to age. When we are younger, most people aged at a similar rate. As we get older, say in our 50s, we have aged at significantly different rates. I meet those in the 50-80 range where some are almost dead both physically and mentally while others are very active and have a much younger lifestyle. As we age, numbers no longer tell the story very well.

There are also the assumptions associated with sexual activity. Are all women over 50, sexually dead? No, some are but others enjoy their sexuality more since pregnancy is no longer a concern. Are all men looking for a different lay every week? No, some are but many, if they have a good partner, aren't looking for someone new all the time. Do most men enjoy sex and want a sexual partner? Of course, that you should expect

Politics and religion, another area full of assumptions: How could a Catholic support a democrat?

Assumptions are one of the major things destroying a civil society and causing the divisiveness we see in America. It is also the destroyer of meeting new people and possibly finding someone compatible with us. While your assumptions may be correct 60 or 70% of the time, what about those you eliminated just because of your assumptions? Unfortunately, as we age, we can't afford to throw away a number of possibilities. Maybe you have so many choices it is of no concern but I figure I'm looking for maybe 1 in 1000 if I'm lucky; probably more like 1 in 10,000.

If people (guys, in *my* case) would just TALK, have conversation...then maybe what is perceived to be an "assumption" (on BOTH sides) would be found out as not existing.

Guys have assumptions too...and it is only through actually engaging in a bit of dialog with someone that you can either confirm your assumptions, or see they aren't true at all in that person's case, and move forward from that...

Sadly..most don't seem interested in actual chat/ conversation...
I am not showering, dressing up, and driving somewhere to meet someone who refuses to have any getting-to-know-you conversation online, so I (and he) can ascertain if our assumtions (if there are any) are valid or not..
I don't need to "look into your eyes" to know whether I think I'd like you or not...(unless you are a hypnotist and have nefarious designs...LOL)
I'd rather chat a bit and go over our (both sides) perceieved differences/ similarities...*then* if we seem to be compatible on that level..a meeting is absoultely fabulous.

The guy i was with before my late husband...I met him through a newpaper ad...back in the day they had such Personals..
No picture, of course.
We talkefd for a couple weeks, and *then* met....
We were together for 8 years (and are still friends)...because we went over stuff intitially in conversation and found out we were very compatible/ on the same page WRT certain core things.

But...to each their own....I'm not telling other people how they should seek their potential partner, no one should do that...we're *all* different..and what works/ worked for you may not work for someone else.
You do what works for YOU....

I agree, conversation is essential. How much is somewhat dependent on what you have said on your profile, your forum posts, and any questions you have answered. Generally I want to meet sooner than later especially if you are somewhat close. Endless messages are of no value to anyone. Much more understanding and agreement is required if it is long distance. The other problem is being honest about who you are.

[quo te]
If people (guys, in *my* case) would just TALK, have conversation...then maybe what is perceived to be an "assumption" (on BOTH sides) would be found out as not existing.

Guys have assumptions too...and it is only through actually engaging in a bit of dialog with someone that you can either confirm your assumptions, or see they aren't true at all in that person's case, and move forward from that...

Sadly..most don't seem interested in actual chat/ conversation...
I am not showering, dressing up, and driving somewhere to meet someone who refuses to have any getting-to-know-you conversation online, so I (and he) can ascertain if our assumtions (if there are any) are valid or not..
I don't need to "look into your eyes" to know whether I think I'd like you or not...(unless you are a hypnotist and have nefarious designs...LOL)
I'd rather chat a bit and go over our (both sides) perceieved differences/ similarities...*then* if we seem to be compatible on that level..a meeting is absoultely fabulous.





I agree with this.


I talked with All my first meets on the phone Many times before we met.
When I meet men who will Travel here, they don't Play. They actually are looking for a relationship.

Doesn't always mean that will happen with the woman they meet.
But they are willing to make that effect.

A date, doesn't mean a relationship or exclusive dating. Often it takes time to meet men like this. Paid sites are probably better in this case.

IMO

I consider 1-3 weeks of getting acquainted before an actual meet and greet is acceptable. If the meet and greet requires a lot of effort on my part, there will be a video chat before the meet and greet so I know for sure you are real and look like your pictures.