Ditto

Here's the trick. It's ok to love her. Obviously there's a history there. You just have to recognize that you can't be in a relationship with her. Give yourself time to heal and you'll figure it out.

Take away the feelings and emotions and analyze the relationship with your logic, that will help you, just don't let your pride blind you and admit at least to yourself what mistakes you may have made.

Being able to acknowledge our wrong doings and mistakes helps to break unhealthy patterns and gives way to healthy pattern building.

It's not always quick and easy, but you'll get past this and hopefully come out wiser and stronger afterwards.

I have autism and various other mental health issues, as does she, so the situation isn't typical. Also, I have no friends and little family, which means I have nobody to really talk to. Basically, we were in a long-distance relationship. She doesn't work, so I paid for the times we would meet.

I wrote a stupid email the day before we were supposed to meet for our most recent trip together. It hurt her so badly that she missed her flight. I drove 700 miles to apologize for that email and spent a week in her town, trying to win her back. At week's end, I left her town, and during the drive she told me that she her friends had taken her to have sex with one of their friends. This meetinf occurred about two days before my email, which means she was basically gaslighting me the entire time I was in her town, making me feel like the bad guy for my email. Also, she kept using my credit card during this time to buy various things while I was in her town. Once she confessed, we had an argument over the phone. She involved her friends plus the guy she cheated on me with and they all mocked me, which led me to attempt suicide.

That's the gist of it.

Suicide is final, you don't get to say oops, that didn't work.

From what you have written it seems you made some poor choices.
Wisdom can be gained from poor choices.
Wisom gained will help you avoid future poor choices.
Life is a learning experience.
If we don't gain wisdom we end up making the same mistakes over and over.

Perhaps you do love her but you know she obviously does not love you so the wisdom you need to learn is that loving relationships require love and commitment from BOTH parties.
You're trying to pour a drink with no glass.
If you keep pouring its only going to make a bigger and bigger mess that you will have to clean up after you realize you need to stop pouring and actually stop pouring.

Your self-esteem has taken a hit.
Find your self-esteem again and regroup.
Try to be proactive in your decisions and not as reactive.
Find and set your center again.
Its very difficult to make the right decisions when you are being controlled by your emotions.

great advice... I just through the full glass against the wall...would not try that ... you have to clean up that mess to

Hi! Do you know we have same experience with my x. It takes time before I move on. It's been a years. Just think positive! This is not the end of the world for you. Just think theirs reason why it is happened with you. There is someone better for you.

This is when a healthy dose of anger is justified. I’m not talking about the revenge kind of anger. That is toxic to you and everyone around you. And you could do something that makes matters worse.

There is another kind of anger, though, that is protective. It warns us away from danger. It puts up walls so that person can’t hurt us again. So we don’t keep hurting ourselves.

It involves repeating to ourselves things like:

I didn’t deserve that.
No one has the right to treat me that way.
I refuse to allow that person to take one more minute of my life.
I deserve better and I am going to find it.
In the meantime I will work to become the best me possible so I will be ready when the right person comes along.

Notice the statements are about you and how you want to be treated. They aren’t about her and they aren’t about pity me.

Make your own statements knowing you have a right to be angry and you choose to use that anger to protect yourself.

Every time you think about her, stick something sharp into your arm or leg.

Then you can properly associate her memories with pain

I agree with you

1
Cry. Yeap cry if you can. Will make u release d burden. 2. Delete all traces of them. It would hurt terribly. Just do it for your own sanity. Delete their pictures, phone number,

3
void places you'll find them, tell your friends n family what happened so they wont talk about them, NEVER EvER stalk them on social media. Block Them there. It will be difficult but remember you are trying to heal. Healing aint easy.
4
Engage yourself in something you love.
5
Meet new people.

ABOVE ALL never nurse the thought that she just might come back. Never. You'll open fresh wounds.
Also dont settle for the crumbs, "hey we can be platonic friends" no way. Dont go for that or you might be a love slave feexing someone's obviously diminished ego.

get a new better then her,