a man was driving too fast trying to get to work on time, when he creasted the top of a hill and saw a cop. the cop pulled him over and asked why he was driving so fast. the man replied " im trying to get to the hospital, it's an emergancy,, see im an anal streacher". the cop asks, "what's an anal streacher?" the man replies " well, first you stick one hand in, then two untill it's streatch to about 6 feet.", the cop asks "what do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" the man replies, "give him an radar gun and a badge and put him on toip of a hill."

a cop pulls you over and says have you been drinking your eyes are red. you ask, officer have you been eating donuts, your eyes are glazed

could you please send a copy of this to the police in my home state?

a cop pulls you over because you are weaving all over the road,
when he stops,you peel the label of your beer and stick it to your forehead.He asks you if you have been drinking and you turn to him and say no officer Im on the patch.

im on the patch......thats good,