Okay, here's the thing, there's this guy on here who I messaged a few months ago. So he messaged me back and we started talking, we seemed to hit it off. We exchanged AIM screen names and chatted on there, too. So last week he asks me out. He called me a couple times before we were supposed to go out and he seemed to really like me. Well, I live in Michigan so we got a snow storm and weren't able to go anywhere. So 15 minutes before he was supposed to show up, he calls to cancel and reschedule.

Today, the day before we were supposed to go out, he emails me and says he's not going to date me. I'm cool, but he's not interested. He started to not say anything to me at all, but he figured he would just tell me. Two things- he's younger than me, and white, so I figure he chickened out because of that, although he knew how old I was and how non-white I was from the very beginning. However, my question is this, should I answer his email and if so, what do I say so it doesn't look as if I care? Thanks in advance.

Keep an open mind. Maybe he just got cold feet and needs a day or 2 to come to his senses. I would answer him "thanks for telling me, and if you would like to get together at a later date and I am available, call me".

Good luck to you!

Thank you.

Hey there...

It sounds like a bad start to begin with. Maybe there are other reasons why he cannot date you. If you do answer his email, then you would be able to have a closure.

If I may suggest, don't ask him any questions... That will look like you care. Just talk about the normal daily things that people talk about, and try not to add emotion in it.

I hope this helps... Sorry if it doesn't... Good luck :)

Katy, just let him go, aparently hes a head case, dont give him the sadisfaction, just move on, if he messages you back, ignore him, just delete the message. good luck.

Katy,
Looking at your picture and reading what you wrote, you are a beautiful, articulate woman-I don't think you are going to have to wait long to hear from someone else. Good luck in your journeys. I wish you all the best.
Evelyn

Sounds like a jerk. Don't respond to him. He's a waste of your time. He misled you and shouldn't have. That's his fault.

Agreed, dude has issues and the waiting around thing, don't do it. The age thing may be the cause of the immaturity thingy. Yeah?

hOW old is he first of all?

Thanks everyone. I just wrote him back and thanked him for telling me. No worries. From now on, I'm just here for the forums anyway. :)

That makes 3 of us. Let him go..not worth it. Age MAY play a part, but highly doubt it. Race should never be a factor either. Sounds more like (just a gut feeling) that he's not been truthful with you along the way and if you did meet, you would automatically see him for what he is.

There are better out there for you! Don't "settle"!

and if he is on here then it is extremely easy for him to
check this thread and read every comment. so, the cat is
definitely outta the bag.



which is not a bad thing....

Well, I don't mind if it was the age or the race thing- it happens all the time, we do live in America you know. :) No, what bothers me is, if he knows what kind of person he wants to go out with, why bother to ask me out at all? Just go for the young blonde or redhead or whatever, no one would see anything wrong with him doing that. I've talked to lots of men on here who never ask me out, so I don't get what his problem is? However, I never should have accepted his invite in the first place, so the blame falls on me.

Yeah, I felt better about answering him, because otherwise it looks as though I'm too devastated to even respond. And yeah, I agree that he could have stood me up. So that's kind of why I thanked him for telling me. Oh well, fool me twice shame on me. You live and learn. :)

He's 21. When I first messaged him, it was just to comment on his headline, I wasn't coming on to him or anything, LOL

Oh I don't care if he reads the comments. He says he never visits the forums, but I don't care if he reads this. If he does, and if he has an ounce of sense, maybe he will see how foolish he looks for even trying to be involved with someone he has no interest in.

yes it is educational - a public service!!
you've been polite and upfront. and if he
decided not to meet then well it just would
have been better for him to have figured
this out before making a date. oh well.
nobody's perfect. i give him some credit for
emailing and polite of you as well katy.

so no biggie...just an oops...most likely.

Yep. And it taught me a lesson I should have learned a looong time ago, never agree to go out with a guy like him. :)

I have the perfect solution to my problem, now I can't receive any mails, and I turned off my mutual matches. This way, I won't see any men like him so I won't be tempted to message them. Yay me...