BEST CATCH OF THE DAY
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
A ragged old man was sitting on a box there with a rod, hanging a string into the puddle.
A tipsy-looking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing.
Fishing, the old man said simply.
Poor old fool, the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man for a drink in the pub.
As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, ‘And how many have you caught?'
You're the third, the old man answered.

TRUE FRIENDSHIP
This guy brings his best golf mate home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30, after golf.
His wife screams her head off while his friend sits open mouthed and listens to the tirade...
My bloody hair & makeup are not done, the house is a f***ing mess, the dishes aren't done.
Can't you see I'm still in my f***ing pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight!
Why the f*** did you bring him home unannounced you stupid idiot?"
Because he's thinking of getting married.

This made me giggle!!!
Subject:
GOD LOVES DRUNK PEOPE TOO!!!

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud
pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken
stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
Not a chance, says the husband, it's 3:00 in the morning!
He slams the door and returns to bed.
Who was that? asked his wife.
Just some drunk guy asking for a push, he answers.
Did you help him? she asks.
No, I did not, do I look that stupid? It's 3 in the morning and it's pouring with rain out there!
Well, you have a short memory, says his wife.
Can't you remember about three years ago when we broke
down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him; and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too you know.
The man does as he is told rather then get in the wifes bad books, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the dark, Hello, are you still there?
Yes, comes back the answer.
Do you still need a push? calls out the husband.
Yes, please! comes the reply from the dark.
Where are you? asks the husband.
Over here on the swing, replied the drunk.