A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says aloud, 'Wow, I wonder what happened to this parrot'.

The parrot says, I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.

Holy crap, the guy replies.
You actually understood and answered me.

I got every word, says the parrot.
I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird

Oh yeah? the guy says.
Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet?

Well, the parrot says, this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my willy around this wooden bar, like a little hook.
You can't see it, because of my feathers.'

Wow, says the guy.
You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you?

Of course, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic - politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.
I'm especially good at ornithology.
You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the £200.00 price tag.
Sorry, but I just can't afford that.

Pssssssst, says the parrot, I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.
You can probably get me for £20, just make the guy an offer.

The guy offers £20, and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by and the parrot is sensational.
He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.

The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.
I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the postman.

What are you talking about? asks the guy.

When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.'

WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.
THEN what happened?'

Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over, reported the parrot.

NO! he exclaims and she let him do that?

Yes replied the parrot
Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.'

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'

DUNNO, I got an erection, and fell off the perch.!'

.... you owe me a drink

Any chance you can get to the Carlton Arms pub around one-ish. Cambridge UK. Always a man of my word

ok, that made me laugh and ...no I can't lol

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🤣🤣🤣 ok you got me I laughed good joke.

Never saw that coming... had to slap my own head!!!

Very funny!!