looks are one of many things that will matter to most

the difference is how much more looks may matter than other things, or how much less

"do looks matter?"

Absolutely!

We can look good any way we want to, but if were not clean and smell bad literally and figuratively, we’ll be avoided like the plague personally a good smelling man for me is one reason i stay

On the show Mythbusters they polished turds quite well.

And when I used to go out to town, I saw plenty of polished turds; anyone can wear a thousand dollar suit and cologne.

Look at politicians, they have teams of polishers to disguise their bits of undigestables, and hide their stench.

But just as the cover of a book may make it attractive and hide the drivel inside, it has already done its job if you just bought it.

As a male, I find super models attractive, but if one wanted me (as if) I'd be forever worried that their eyes and wants would wander.

Regional tastes come into it too. Some cultures like big bodies, or big butts, or skinny waifs, or height, or skin colour, or types of clothing etc.

Give me a nice plain jane who doesn't mind getting dirt under her unpainted nails any day.

Personality matters more. But the initial impression comes from the looks as in outer appearance. Like it or not, most people likes to judge someone from their looks. some do that without even knowing that they are doing something like that. When you want to date someone you usually choose them by their looks. You don't suddenly get to know a person in a day. so yeah looks does matter. sadly people with not so good looks does have to face a lot things that are pretty sad. but one should know, good looks aren't just about the face but rather whole. So, indeed a personality matters more, but the initial steps are based on the looks. sad but true.

true. research shows that a person who smells good, immediately becomes 10 times more attractive to their partner.

"Do looks matter"


YES

If looks don't matter the paper bag company will be out of business

Not really.
The brain computes a lot of input (all senses, understanding of situations) before shooting out an emotional judgment, which your conscious self then interprets and associates with whatever is easiest for it to understand.
Sight is the most used, most direct, most important sense.
So a lot is simply granted to it when what led to the judgment may have had little or nothing to do with what you've actually seen.


What kind of relationship?
What scale are we using?
And what are we comparing it to?



No. Crazy is crazy.
Depending on their level of attractive I would be more willing to overlook anything I consider a "fault" that "would" otherwise drive me crazy long enough to sleep with them.
The bonding process happens through stages.
I am chemically induced to "overlook their faults" during certain stages.
Some hormones simply make people more gregarious.
Most drug addicts that get high want to perpetuate the high. Not focus on all the potential problems of addiction.


Everyone has "inner beauty."
"Inner beauty" means nothing if it's not communicated out in the real world through behavior and actions.
If you can't see their "inner beauty" until way after they've completely changed how they look, then you weren't really paying attention, and or communication in the relationship is extremely bad.

And more than likely you simply want to start seeing their "inner beauty" in order to rationalize and manipulate your own perceptions just to maintain the relationship, to avoid any change.
Because even if they've been an object to you for the past several decades, there is still a level of bonding.

But ultimately, that's what happens in any long term relationship.
You either:
1. paid attention and are better able to value them for who they are as their own, unique, individual, sovereign, entity.
2. stuck together long enough that they are ultimately a known extension of you, a representative of your ego, so any change (e.g. breakup) is simply harming yourself and who you think you are.
3. Both.
5. Variable combinations of both.

There isn't really "seeing" inner beauty.
There is no such thing as "inner beauty."
At best there is just realizing a lot of crap doesn't matter and learning or choosing what does, then consistently valuing it.
You don't "see" their "inner beauty," you figure out what matters and validate it.

Attraction matters.. What ever features you personally find pleasing, ie..... physical traits, personalities, emotional states, abilities, or a mash up combo; that is the "attractiveness"
So "is it important to be attractive"? Well it's important to find someone who is looking for what you are... And vice-versa..

It’s why a Chef makes food look nice, or the presentation.

The first bite is with the eyes.

I agree with JaJonesy. Only I would prolly say find someone who’s receptive to what you are instead of looking for what you are.

There’s a reason I think that’s important. A guy I dated for a long time used to say I was exactly what he was looking for. In the end I got the impression that he was so caught up in the traits he had been looking for, he missed all the other traits that didn’t fit so well with his own.

You may think you want someone quiet and reserved, but that doesn’t mean they will always mesh with your own personality. We get ideas in our heads about what traits we feel are attractive based on perfect role models we’ve seen and enjoy, but everyone is different. Just because his Mother was quiet and reserved, doesn’t mean other quiet and reserved women will put up with being walked on like she allowed her own husband to do.

Sorry for the long story. Felt I should illustrate my point.

except that beauty is in the eye of the beholder , what one finds attractive another person will find not appealing in every sense of the word.

I also think Shallow is one of those overused words, I know you didnt mention shallow but some people places more value on what they find physically appealing vs maybe a sapiophile that claims physical features are secondary .

i prefer personality over looks

Lol...all this BS floating around in here... The ONLY time a guy's looks don't matter is if he's rich... And yes, women have to be pretty... Everything else is just BS for the masses...

lol you tell them, moe

you have no worries there, msrosie...

and of course let's not forget that beauty is in the eye of the beholder not the one being viewed.

so the one that i find absolutely ravishing moe thinks shouldn't be allowed into public view.

yes exaggertated to illustrate the point

But he said I should be in public view