you are right klc. it takes a ton of work and a lot of traveling. so unless it has already started organically and all the cliche's about love at first sight and star crossed lovers don't apply it prolly won't work. it definitely is not a path for the faint of heart

k i actually meant a lot of flying to get to face to face cuz the connection had been made somewhere like here. as for a two hour drive just for dinner and a movie on a work night? did that in my younger days and would not really care to revisit that

I dated someone in Holland and another in Florida.
Both 3 years.

It wasn't enough in my case, even though we loved each other dearly, the physical aspect made it not workable.

i like the netherlands. some good people there.

Physical aspect? Are people in Florida and Holland that ugly?

nope.

Was that because neither of you could relocate? If you don't mind me asking, how often did were you able to visit and did you video chat along with writing?

I should know about people from Holland. Germany borders them

But I can't say nothing about Florida, never met somebody from there

Larsi, I believe she's talking about the physical distance, not physical appearance!

it's nice being able to cross those borders without hassles, isn't it?

OMG ... Usually I am not that daft

Sorry, my comments were not supposed to be offensive in any way

don't worry. i don't think many (if any) took them as having ill intent.

Nope, dub's right... and I'm even from Florida

Don't worry about it Larsi... doubt anyone would ever consider you to be intentionally offensive or even accidentally

The distance yes... but also that we couldn't physically be with each other daily...
I video chatted nightly, flew to them several times a year. The problem was they wanted physical contact more than i could give them.

I can't blame them ofc...I was ready to move though, both times...

I left my heart in the Netherlands...

Thanks Pisces

But it shows, how much I know about US geography

Not sure, but if you are that far apart, it is all about trust in the first place. Of course, physical contact is kinda important, but if the partner is not able to understand, that physical contact is not possible all the time? Too much pressure, not enough patience. JMO

Reasons:
- no one in their neighborhood, city, county, state, country, continent finds them attractive enough to pursue.

- they're scammers.

- they really just want the online fantasy and lie to themselves they want something real. They're too scared or something to meet, and are really comfortable just sitting safe behind a computer screen for months and years. It's like a mash up of choose your own adventure and romance novels.

- distance isn't an issue for them, because they'll never move. They'll simply demand you move to them. If you aren't willing to relocate to them, well, then you're not serious. And if you do, and it doesn't work out, well, that's your fault too.

- They're looking for opportunity emigration.

- They romanticize love and are looking for a great global romantic adventure in their life to make it meaningful, because their life has no real meaning.

- They may not understand how other people are reading "distance is no problem." Maybe they live in a small township, among a bunch of townships, where the next town is 10 miles away, and they're trying to convey they will date near their area, not just their own township, not realizing people on the other side of the planet are seeing their profile.

- They were in a lengthy romantic discourse with someone online.
The person they were talking to got cold feet or got their romantic high and wanted to move on so said something like "I don't want to hurt your life. You're just so far away. I'd never ask you to move for me. It's not fair to you." IOW another form of "it's not you, it's me, I'm altruistic and protecting you, I'm not dumping you and hurting you, I'm freeing you for your happiness."
When really they were just trying to avoid answering the "but whyyyy? What's changed?! Distance didn't matter at first, but now it does! Justify yourself to me! Prove your arguments! Waaaah!"
So faced with that, the dumped person changes their profile to read "distance doesn't matter," thinking that is what caused their online "breakup."


Those come to mind.

think of it this way lars the usa is a bigger land mass than all of europe without the border crossings

^ all pressure & no patience, exactly.

emotional support > sex

both are wonderful, but I guess my feelings were stronger than theirs is what it comes down to...