ok lady i need some help please way all this out and let me know what is the right thing to do. my litle girls mother has not called or seen or been in the pic, in ten years .and i from out this weekend where and how she has been ,she had a child died on her in 2003 and she got remarr.in 2005 and she is just 3 hours away .however we have been in the phone book for 10 years and still live in the same house here so she could have called any of these years but didn't
so i ask what am i to do maybe someday call or see her or let a sleeping dog sleep please help me with this

I would let it go. She doesn't care, why force the girl to face that. Keep loose track of her & when the girl is older, make the info available.

i must also say i found out all this on her from the computer and i don't know if i should maybe sit my little girl down and give her a ten year update someone let me know

your right i feel that on one side of my heart

i agree with sage..i take it she still has not got in touch with you..so dont push

wow!! as a mother of 2 i am shocked....she has just completely cut you two off....i understand losing a child is one of the most tragic things that can ever happen to someone but she needs to be thankful she has a living child i would let sleeping dogs lie because its her mistake not yours....it will be worst mistake she ever makes in her life....i commend you for being there for your daughter....what a stand up man

Don't contact her. Even though my son grew up living with his dad, I was always in his life and there for him. He's on his own now and he knows I'm still there for him and always will be. Children are smart. They know when they are truly loved and when they aren't. It shows how rotten a parent is when they choose not to be in a child's life. I, myself, lost a son 27 years ago, but that doesn't have any bearing on how much I love my live children. Sad to say, it's apparent she doesn't care about your daughter, which is wrong.

If she wanted to be a mother, Then she would have done so. She is a dead beat mother and I for one wouldnt allow her the honor of being that little girls mother... Its best to just let it go.

You're a good dad for being there for her. There's a lot to be said for you looking out for her feelings, too. Keep up the great work!

even worst i read the paaper online where her other 14 year old died and she never said anything of her sister at all in the paper that made me cry.it's like she never had her

I agree with Peachie, I can't imagine that. But, all you can do is be there for your daughter. And make sure she understands that it's her mom's problem, not your daughter's and that it's not your daughter's fault. If she asks, give her the information and when she's old enough, let her decide what she wants to do with it. Your daughter will ask eventually, most likely. Hard as it may be to do, try not to put her mom down or anything. Try to be neutral, then support your daughter however she needs. Good luck to you

i just know that someday my girl is going to ask to see her or maybe look her up and i think i'm years away from that still but i don't know if i could say no to her

Just goes to prove where she is at.
Must figure your doing a good job.
I would let it lie, if I was you.

she may have physically had her but mentally she apparently does not exsist.. but to you on the other hand is everything..just keep doing what your doing.Good job dad

thanks i needed this cause i don't have much family to turn to and i just don't know where to go sometimes when i feel i have ??

children are stronger than we think but your daughter is still very young and may get rejected again which wouldnt be good , leave it till shes older, but dicuss with your daughter how she feels and what she wants and the pros and cons of what could occurr when the time is right. your daughter will probably come to you one day anyhow hun

yes thank god right now she doesn't ask too much and i must say i have and only will tell her great thing about her mother

My daughter is almost 20 now and has no memory of her father. I waited until she started asking questions and answered them the best I could. I don't bring anything up, she still has not asked to meet him(not sure if she will). But if she does I will support her on that and she knows that. The most you can do is love her and support her, hwen/if she's ready she will let you know. One thing I was told was don't give more info than what they are truely asking for.

wow i never would thing of that thanks however i only have good things to say of her mother and someday when this comes i hope i'm ready

I am sure you will be...time can do amazing things.