When couples are in a long-term Relationship and only one person is happy in that Relationship.

I think some people enjoy being unhappy. Divorce is very common these days, so getting out of the situation wouldn't be hard to do.

That is very true, do you feel divorce should be harder to get ?

I feel marriage should be harder to get.

Why?

Ditto! There's a waiting period before a divorce is final. Anywhere's from 3 months to 4 years depending on what country you're in. Maybe if they made people wait. Maybe one year... for some there wouldn't be a wedding, so no divorce!

Yes

I dont agree that marriages should be harder to get

the problem with today's marriage is most people have an unrealistic expectation of marriage from the get go.

We live in a quick fix society so when something isnt working we throw it away, same with relationships and marriage.

Because so often I see people in unhappy marriages because they jumped in without fully understanding themselves or their partner.
I made such a leap.
My marriage lasted 25 years and my happiness was due to me ignoring the flags that came out as life unfolded. I thought that was what love was supposed to do, forgive. Problem was, I was constantly having to adjust my morals and values to make it work. I ignored advice from others and favored my rose-colored view of our marriage. When that view became clear, I had no choice but to end the ruse. I had a very happy marriage as long as I continued to delude myself.

Had I waited, I might have seen that our morals and values did not sync.
I almost stopped the marriage before it happened but I talked myself out of it based on my own delusions of the relationship.

When we decided to have a family, that locked me by my own values on having our children grow up in a loving home with a mother and father present. Once the nest was empty again, I reassessed my relationship with her and found it wanting, So I ended it.

Sometimes you can't see the liar till you live with them. At the time, I was religious and tried not to "Live in Sin". Won't make that mistake ever again.
Had I picked someone worthy of the commitment and dedication I was willing to give, I would still be married and not on singles sites. Divorce does not 'run in my family'.

You have a good point and I agree with what you said. All the more reason to make marriage more difficult.

We also live in a instant gratification society... those same unrealistic expectations and romanticizing being married causes people to jump the gun and tie the knot. It's very easy to do... Just go to Vegas, get drunk and get married.

If people had to go through a waiting period and maybe the same classes required when they go through a divorce, then those unrealistic expectations would dissolve, they would look at what marriage really entails before saying "I do" and then if they "both" have their hearts into it... and they hang in there throughout the waiting period, they have a better chance of doing the same in their marriage.

The Catholic church does something like this... at least they used to. I'm not sure about now. They require you to go through counseling before the priest will marry you.

and Tom you just made my point.

Years ago when young saw a lot of misery and cheating in marriages. No one left because of religion and social stigma. Not much happiness then either.

I don't think so. Some things you can see in a person until they are in a certain situation. For instance, you won't know what kind of parent they will be. More years of dating won't make a d8fference. Divorces are expensive for most people. In my situation, I was paying a mortgage and raising two kids, while trying to come up with money for legal fees. The ex was sitting at mommy's, going shopping and to the bar. Making divorce harder would probably hurt the wrong person.

Can't

picsesmoon,

I dont think making it difficult to obtain is the answer, because people will find ways around it.

What should be done is from an early age an emphasis on relationships, what it takes to succeed, conflict resolution, how to deal with finances, kids, discipline, moral value etc, instead of learning about how to put a condom on a cucumber perhaps life lessons should be taught .

Its like sex education, who should teach it? I dont believe its the schools job to teach it, yet the libs insists teachers should.

Its the parents job to teach .

It's strange though isn't it. I had some Asian freinds at school who had arranged marriages, I don't think they were looking forward to it, but to the best of my knowledge they remain happily married. Divorce in arranged marriages is significantly smaller than otherwise. Yet India today is going through a sort of american 50s 60s phase, (an era that seems to be often romantised) partly due to young people having more disposable income, due to the improving economy, but also because of the rise of what are termed 'love marriages' where you are able to pick your own partner. Which is better, I don't know, I suppose time will tell

Who's going to make the parents do that undrboss? I suppose if they stopped teaching it in schools, then maybe more parents would step up to the plate... maybe, maybe not.

Then there are parents who do teach all that to their kids at an early age, yet when the kids reach adulthood, they chuck all that teaching out the window, run amok and decide for themselves what's right and what's wrong.

I do know that what comes easy gets taken for granted. If a person has to work their tail off in order to buy something, they tend to take better care of it compared to those who have it given to them. Maybe it would work the same way when it comes to marriage?

I see both sides of it... guess there's no easy solution or answer.

except they dont tell you that some of the husbands in arranged marriages cheats on their wives.

They don't tell you that wives don't have many rights as the men and it depends on the caste system they fall into.

I was watching this BBC documentary on women who were widowed after the arranged marriage and it was an eye opener, the women after their husband died you think would be taken care of from his family? nope
they get tossed aside because the family think they are bad luck because the husband died and some end up living in ghettos begging for money

some of these women wished they could have practiced SATI, if you dont know what Sati is, its an act where the widow burns herself to death after the death of her husband, the Indian parliament banned this in 1988.

So Arranged marriages arent as it cracked up to be.

I agree with this!