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Topic: Work Vs Relationship
no photo
Sat 04/21/18 01:50 AM
Dears..I hope everyone is doing good.I am a chartered accountant working in an audit firm .I don’t have any friends here and it is getting boredom.

So I am here to make good friends and spend quality time with them.
If anyone interested please PM me

Gs2Awesome's photo
Sat 04/21/18 02:48 AM
lol She better be working too. Cost of living is damn high, you need 2 incomes to live comfortably.

RustyKitty's photo
Sat 04/21/18 07:25 AM

the hustles and the long hours of work are so that both of you can have a comfortable life in future. not a sign of ignoring her and her contributions


Long hours vary within industries... welders may start their day at 6AM, where a lawyer may not start until 10AM, but work until 8PM, then there are the shift workers... so many different and varying schedules out there in the work world...
For a relationship, there should be a balance of work/play(relax); co-operation to attain goals, sharing of responsibilities...
In my world, work comes before play...
Ya gotta pay to play - no money, no funny...
It definitely helps to have two incomes in a family, as money (the lack of it), is a major factor in a marriage breakdown.
Don't forget the play part ..

Tom4Uhere's photo
Sat 04/21/18 09:19 AM


You have no real commitment in a date or dating.

???
Commitment is either real or feigned.
When I date, I make a commitment to my date.
Not the same commitment I made to my X or my family but a commitment all the same.
The fact that I agreed to date is a commitment, at least, for me it is.
Its also a dedication to spending time with her.

That's good, however, I still don't consider a date a commitment.
I'm sure many men don't. I think women do and that is a big mistake. Imo
The man moves on and the woman is heartbroken. When actually the man was always available for the taking. More often when dating involves Sexual activity.

I understand where you're coming from but you don't seem to understand where I'm coming from. Lemme splain...

The moment somone accepts the date and actually goes thru with it is a commitment. They made a commitment to be there, at that time. They dedicated their time to keeping their commitment to the person they are dating.

Likewise, if I go to a Dr appt I make a commitment to be there at the scheduled time. I dedicate my time to make sure I am there when I am expected.

Commitment isn't always extreme expression.
It isn't always a romantic gesture to pledge fidelity.
It can be but not always.

Commitment is defined as
1> the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.
2> an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.

During a date, there are many degrees of commitment and dedication happening that may or may not indicate romantic connection.

One can be commited to fulfilling their own agenda, their own sense of decency, their own desires and their dates may merely be a means for fulfilling it.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Sat 04/21/18 09:45 AM


the hustles and the long hours of work are so that both of you can have a comfortable life in future. not a sign of ignoring her and her contributions


Long hours vary within industries... welders may start their day at 6AM, where a lawyer may not start until 10AM, but work until 8PM, then there are the shift workers... so many different and varying schedules out there in the work world...
For a relationship, there should be a balance of work/play(relax); co-operation to attain goals, sharing of responsibilities...
In my world, work comes before play...
Ya gotta pay to play - no money, no funny...
It definitely helps to have two incomes in a family, as money (the lack of it), is a major factor in a marriage breakdown.
Don't forget the play part ..

I try to limit my comments from assuming money is always the driving force.
I know people that have plenty of money and still work, even tho they don't need to. I do agree that for most of the people I know (myself included) money is important to contentment and work is a requirement of life.

Most of my life (25 years) I was the only worker in a family of 6. The X worked but her job was maintaining the household and caring for our children. Work was my domain and home was her domain.
For most of the marriage, we communicated well. It wasn't till we stopped communicating that the problems started.

The reason why I am now disabled is because a person can't do 12, 15 or 20 hour days working hard for years on end. I'm burned out, worn out and broken down. Being vertical is now work some days.
Its hard adjusting to living on one fifth of the money I used to make.
It was a forced adjustment I didn't want.
I had to find contentment in less and now, after great tribulation I am actually happier and have more financial freedom that ever before.
But, I sacrificed my health to be responsible for others.

If I find someone to share life with, she should have her own income.
This means she will probable work, maybe have a career.
If we have the type of relationship that I am wanting, I know I will need to support and encourage her in her job.
While I may not want her to go to work, I will understand that she will want to so she can support herself or her and her children.
As long as she is at work, doing her job, there would be no issues.
If I found out she lied to me, our relationship would end and it would have nothing to do with her job.

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