Why is it so hard and hurting to be friends with the person you love and always made to hang in the friend zone? And unfortunately we always tend to have the benefit of doubt, the feeling that you never know things may change...

Lots of reasons.
Partially depending on culture.
You've made a decision you think is good for you or for society, yet you're not getting the reward you think you "should" get, when you want to get it, all under your control, with a guarantee of success and fulfillment, for little to no cost or risk.
It's still your decision to stick around.


It's your decision to remain there.
If you're "always" in the friend zone, that's not their problem. It's yours. The longer you stay there, the more that normalizes that type of relationship. The more often that occurs, that simply trains you to keep going there, and looking for people where you can be there. It's all you'll end up knowing.

You have the choice to leave the friend zone.
Either by communicating directly and honestly with the person, or extricating yourself to find someone else where you aren't a "just friends."


You can either wait for things to change, or try to make them change.
Again, it's your decision what you do.
If you keep it to yourself and don't communicate with your "just friend," then you're ultimately lying to them.
If you are honest and direct with what's going on with you and what you want then you aren't the one playing games.
If she has no desire, you can make an informed choice as to what you want to do. If you stick around, she has no responsibility for your unrequited feelings.
If she wants you to stick around for a "it's complicated, maybe someday," or something, then it's her that's playing games with you.

As is said so many times in so many ways, figure out what you want and go after it.

It seems that many women, especially older ones, are more interested in friendship minus the sex than anything else. When that is what you experience, you have to decide if the friendship without the sex is worth the time and effort to you.

Easy to be friends with a man, than to love him, for me anyway!!!!

Friendzones don't exist. Be straight up about your intentions, there is only rejection or acceptance.

I don't know, I don't believe in "waiting for the right time" If someone cannot find you a right fit now, I don't think you'll be a right fit in the future.

Good morning everyone I think there are successful relationships here and there is also love and I am a 41 year old looking for a serious relationship with love from a woman who is also looking for a loving relationship with all love

Good morning everyone I think there are successful relationships here and there is also love and I am a 41 year old looking for a serious relationship with love from a woman who is also looking for a loving relationship with all love

Much easier to stay friends and enjoy each other than be in a relationship and people start to suffercate ..

Do you have friends that are men? Is it worth being friends with them even though you're not having sex with them?

Lack of acceptance could be one reason. If you both have agreed to only be friends, then not really accepting it for what it is can be very painful, and damaging to the friendship. The one who is secretly holding on to the "what if" will eventually feel heart broken especially when he/she wakes up to the fact that the other isn't secretly feeling the same way.

It's best to be honest with your feelings, imo. Even if you have to stay in the friend zone for various reasons, it's better to tell that person you have more feelings than friendship. It helps with acceptance and facing reality. And more importantly, it's being honest.


edited for typos

No different for both men and women when deciding if someone you have met is someone you want as a friend. The difficult part with someone of the other gender as a friend is that in most relationships, the friend part needs to come first and then move to the sexual part. It is the unknown and that transition part that is the challenge. Being honest about where you want it to go on both sides would eliminate a lot of bad feelings.

I think guys will be friends with a woman hoping it will turn into more, even though she has made it clear it's friends only. For the woman it's nice having the attention and someone to go places with, without the stress of dating.

Yep, I think most men hope it will turn in to more than just being friends.

Sometimes we know with some men that we can only be friends & nothing more & it won't change for us. But the man may keep hoping her feelings will change.

Yes I agree. I misunderstood what you first said but it makes more sense to me now.

IF I accept a woman as only a friend then she will get treated the same as any other buddy. Pay your own way, not get upset if I flirt with someone else, tell you part way through the evening that you are on your own,,,,,,yada, yada. You get treated the same as any male friend I might go someplace with. You cannot have it both ways!!

i agree. someone sometimes or always end up getting hurt anyway

I am looking for that man who won't hurt me. physically and emotionally.
I have not had luck in that department.
I may not have much but I am independence. kind of a late bloomer to that. but I pay my own bills. help my mom out and my grandma out when i can.
i am a homebody but i dont go out unless im with someone.
be nice to find someone with christian lifestyle and teach me to grow too.
i am not looking for older guys will passed on you if you are.