Fair enough. Serious answer.

What a woman needs.
Obviously my life experience is only as an observer. I believe every woman is unique and beautiful. Often “needs” are confused with wants. But a healthy self image is an often ignored need. Our culture tells us that we accomplish that by focusing on our “wants” but in my life experience a woman with a healthy self esteem is focused on loving others unconditionally. I suspect it is impossible to be negative when doing something helpful for a friend simply because they are your friend. As men, too often in relationships instead of supporting her self esteem we take advantage of her “lack” in order to gain her dependence. We compliment to be the “special voice “ instead of helping her see that her unique gifts are worthy with or without us. This sounds evil, but simply reflects that men also need a healthy self esteem.

Every person, man or woman, has amazing gifts and a life purpose. We also have the power of choice. When a lack of self esteem is present, we are apt to make more choices that bury our gifts and derail our purpose.

My advice to men. Stop trying to be the “one” to meet her need so you can win her over and simply help her uncover her gifts so she can flourish.
Women: you don’t need my perspective you are amazing so go and embrace what makes you unique. Be willing to trade happiness (temporary) for Joy (constant).

I know I know!! Too much and too long. Never ask a simple coach to answer a complex question. Lol

Will look into that flavor of ice cream. But still not buying the dark chocolate. I suspect you secretly crave spinach instead.

Wow, I'm impressed, and a little speechless! Seriously!

It's as if you've read my thoughts and wrote them out for me. My purpose and challenge in life has been to love unconditionally and embrace the gifts I have within. My difficulty in doing that has had to do with self esteem and self worth, I allow others to tell me what I ought to be doing instead or what I "need" or "want" instead.

Simply being me never seemed to be enough, to others or so I imagine! My soul screams from inside saying it needs to be and my spirit crushed because I haven't allowed it most of the time.

I've let the outside world that focuses on outside accomplishments to determine my self worth... Problem is what others say makes me worthy goes against the reason and purpose of why I'm here. It's more of an inward journey for me. It's been a constant tug of war throughout my life.... walk my path of growing and evolving spiritually and be alone for the rest of my life (my mind tells me no one would want such a person) or become someone that I'm really not so not to be alone. Which never works out and I end up alone anyways.

One might say, and I've heard a lot say that it's better to be alone than to compromise/sacrifice oneself in order to be with another. It makes sense as far as embracing who we really are... which is part of my life purpose.

The other part of my soul's purpose and need is to be to love and be loved unconditionally. The struggle I have with it is that how the heck can I love someone unconditionally if I'm alone? Hence the constant tug of war that dwells inside me.

That's a rhetorical question... not one that anyone can answer for me. It's something I need to answer, and will eventually!

Well guess I'm not so speechless after all, but I am out of time. I've got to finish getting ready for work.

Thank you for commenting and sharing your thoughts. Definitely gave me more food for thought and I appreciate that.

you are welcome. Sounds like you have everything you need to put the puzzle together. It's just hard to keep all the pieces on the table. Everyone struggles with what you talk about to some extent or another but it's worth the struggle. Have a great day.

Your suspicions are correct actually, lol. My body always craves the greens. When I'm not craving chocolate that is.

I missed this one. I credit my Grandma for convincing a 7 year old me that eating spinach like Popeyes would give me muscles like Popeye! It was some time before I realized bulging forearms were not that appealing but by that time it was too late. I was addicted to spinach

I happen to like bulging forearms, slightly bulging that is.

The two things I notice right away on a man are his eyes and his forearms. Not sure why, guess I'm just a little weird.

I didn't like spinach as a kid, but later developed a taste for it. I prefer it raw in salads, or cooked in things like omelets or on my pizza.

I liked it, ate it, but no luck on the bulging forearms..
I still enjoy spinach in all it's various forms.. kind of interesting with certain foods. I am not a fan of greens in general but there is something about spinach that I think connects me to my memories of my grandma. I also love mounds candy bars, but hate coconut. Very weird, but my mom loved mounds so they were very available and that connection stays with me.

not weird, just your personal preferences.

Hmmm... Mounds candy bars are made with dark chocolate!

And you're right, it's not really weird, just preferences.

To get back on topic, I wonder if some of our needs are personal preferences as well?

We all have basic needs, but each of us have our own individual needs. Are those preferences, or something more innate?

More food for thought.

Women need validation, that's their air.
They need security, that's their water.
Then they need tenderness, that's their chocolate.

So very true ... kinda not funny?

I almost missed this. Ok.. but this is top secret.. you are not able to tell anyone.. shhhhhh.... I like dark chocolate, but I do like milk chocolate better... but I do NOT like coconut... I do like mounds though..lol

On topic.. the need question is pretty deep.. and I wonder if it doesn't matter. In other words if you believe you need something.. are convinced of it. Even if it's technically a want or a preference, the lack of that elusive whatever, might prevent you from being all you can be.

Other than our basic needs, I believe most of what we "need" is in fact something a little less critical then "need" but obviously at times in our life we see these non-basic things as needs and that occupies much of our attention until they are either met or we grow and learn and determine that it's not a need.

Okay.. it's past my bedtime, so sorry if that doesn't make sense.

Lol, your secret's safe with me.

It makes perfect sense, at least now it does. I read what you wrote last night when I was very tired and couldn't decipher a word you said, lol.

I decided I "needed" to wait until morning and found that waiting wasn't what I truly needed, a good night's sleep was the actual need.

Lol, your secret's safe with me.

It makes perfect sense, at least now it does. I read what you wrote last night when I was very tired and couldn't decipher a word you said, lol.

I decided I "needed" to wait until morning and found that waiting wasn't what I truly needed, a good night's sleep was the actual need.

lol.. the important thing in all of this was the good night's sleep.