*I am naturally blonde and never take offense to these..

OK SO..

A blonde was down on her luck and in need of some money. She decided to play the lottery and prayed to God that her numbers would be called. That night, however, her numbers were not called. She begged God, saying "Lord I have never stopped believing that You would make all things better so I ask that you help me out."
The next week goes the same.. she gets her numbers ready and yet again they are not called. The following week, her numbers are also not called.
Furious, the blonde falls to the ground screaming, "God how could You do this to me? You know how badly I am in need of this money. How could You forsake me like this? I can't believe You just won't help me out at all!!"
All of a sudden there was a great boom of thunder and God's voice called out, "Honey I would love to help you out... but at least meet me half way- buy a ticket!"

a man walks onto an elevator and is greated by a pretty blond who says, "T,G,I,F" He looks at her, and replies, "S,H,I,T" She says "No! I mean TGIF, thank god it's friday." He nods and says, " I know, ****, 'sorry honey, it's Thursday'."

way 2coolman