"How Can I Ever Forget"

Snow on the mountains, a chill in the air.
A beautiful day, gentle white clouds here and there.
Winter and Christmas near.
The closing of another year.
It was so very cold outside.
Just couldn't get warm enough inside.
Brought in wood and built a fire.
Shivering, so cold, so very tired.
Beautiful faces on the wall.
"I love you Mom", who did I last call.
Endless days, getting tougher and tougher.
Long hours, going from one job to another.
Home, bills and kids on my mind.
Needed to lie down, just unwind.
Wiped out, in need of rest, falling asleep.
A soft blanket. Couldn't stay awake, falling deep.
A moment to close my eyes, I finally felt warm.
Can't remember. Did I allow my dreams to form.
Loud, breaking, crackling sounds.
Woke up bewildered, confused and confound.
Oh God, smoke in the air.
Fire, Fire everywhere.
What did I do?
What did I do?
Found the phone, tried to make a call.
Wires dead, burning walls.
Can't think. What do I take?
Someone help me please! Am I awake?
Throat burning, hard to breathe.
Was this to be my last bequeathe?
How do I stop this? Couldn't get the water on.
Memories burning, breaking, melting, all gone.
Found the door, made it outside.
Was this my fault? I cried and cried.
Neighbors screaming. Arms pulling me away.
Tears falling, sirens, firetrucks in the driveway.
So cold and numb. Someone put a blanket around me.
My fault, my fault. Please let me be.
How do I face my children? When they see their home all gone and ashen.
Darkness falls, can't walk away.
Hands burned, heart aches. So much pain at the end of this day.
I cry and cry and cry......
Over and over again, I ask God why.
Everything was a blur, so hazy.
My life upside down and crazy.
No where to go. No outlet!
A nightmare I will never forget.

by Rose M. Kintz

(On December 14th, 2005 my home burned completely to the ground. I was the only one in the home at the time and asleep. I made it out shortly before the implosion. It was a "Flue Fire" and not my fault. However, it is something I do live with. Writing this poem has been good for me.)

WOW, you are lucky to be alive sweetie...I bet that was scarey. It wasn't your fault, so nothing to live with except that you escaped it alive and unscathed. Thank God you are still to be able to share your poetry. Thank God you are my friend.

Blessed are you with life,, live, learn, love and share
your wisdom,,,,,

Awesome write and ohhhh so lucky to have that second chance at life. Makes one think about how our lives could be taken in a matter of moments we don't realize how lucky we are.

Very well written, Rose.

Fire can be very terrorizing, confusing. I've been caught in a forest fire, in Yosemite Park wilderness, while guiding several people on a fishing trip. It threatened our camp, lives... I pressed my customers into service with buckets, axes and saws. Fortunately, there was no wind. After a day and a half, we established a reasonable break and it died out. Then later on, the boiler in the apartment building I lived in, exploded.. Both experiences had lasting effect.

Living in Oregon, where many of the best forest fire fighters in this country come from, I had an idea of how quickly you can get caught.

The forest fires flash point was very near a place I was collecting firewood the day before. So, I spent several days wondering if I had done something to ignite it. It turned out that an old broken coke bottle must have been uncovered during our foraging. The sun, some dry grass, and a nearby old avalanche field of dead wood...

I'm always amazed by the capacity of the human spirit to survive and heal... to express... and in that, very possibly offer a little healing and wisdom to others.