LOL..ok here is one.

I get an e-mail saying I am "flirting" when I pay a "compliment", like I see a lovely woman with a great smile. So I make it a point to say so..all I say is "hope you never lose that GREAT smile".

Now is that considered a "flirt"? I truly only mean it as a compliment. heck, I'm 42, and I have said iot to some that are like 24. I have just learned to appreciate many things over the years. Like when I see someone, can be anyone, male or female, do something good, use thier brain, can be many things, I make sure I let them know ... like saying "good job" and mean it.

So, am I sending "mixed signals" when I say something as a compliment, like "great smile". To me its like saying "great painting" or "nice car". it's meant as a "compliment" ... not a "flirt". should I change that..at least on a dating site? I just thought about that point too ... I guess on a dating site many things could be taken as a "flirt" huh???

I may have just answered my own question! lOL

flirting is when you are charming a woman or a man with the goal of dating or having sex. complements are used to make people feel good and show you care

flirting or compliment ... it wasn't out of line a bit...maybe they just have no sense of humor or self

Well it is definitely meant as the latter. but now understand why some people could possibly see it as a flirt since this is a dating site. I just had to add in the "dating site" part and realized where it was being said.

But thanks for that definition!

You are right, there IS a difference, and you were sincere in your motives...

About the other person... all I can say is that there are many reasons why some people remain single... first of all, they are too damn defensive and ignorant to be of any social worth... and they often reply in some negative manner to a simple extended hand of friendship

Some people wouldn't have the social skills to form a friendship if it stood on its head in front of them and crunched on doggie treats...

Don't worry about this one, she's too into herself to be of any social value...

no problem man.

Flirting is relative to the individual who doesnt know how to handle compliments. If this the same woman who said this maybe she was flattered with this compliment and took it so, or hoped for it to me a "flirting" act on your part

very well said telephoneman.

Flirting is more of an emotional state than a technical definition. The concept can be as ambiguous as love. I don't agree that flirting is defined by the goal of dating/sex. It CAN be, but not necessarily.
With that said, here's my attempt at a definition. I think flirting is any form of communication, either direct or subcommunicated, that relates to - or addresses - ATTRACTION between the two parties involved.
Compliments are neutral when it comes to attraction.
The woman who said you were flirting either feels some attraction for you or she misinterpreted your compliment as a statement that telegraphs interest, or SOI (statement of intent).

I believe some women have trouble accepting compliments, for whatever reason! And being on a dating site, some are obviously looking for a connection of some sort, and some may be desperate to the point that a simple "compliment", such as you gave, could possibly be mistaken for an obvious "interest" in them,or "flirting", rather than a friendly gesture. You aren't sending mixed signals...just sincere compliments...and if anyone is taking them out of context, and reading more into them...then that's their problem!!

pua is on the ball.

who the heck would complain about that?

I don't think you were flirting at all, I would say you paid them a very nice compliment. I have to agree, some people are so desperate for a connection that they are hoping for any kind of connection. The only thing I can say is just be yourself!! I think when you are older, you do pay compliments and you don't mean a thing by it. BUT the younger people just don't know how to take it!!!

I see nothing wrong with sending an email and saying that they have a nice smile....beautiful eyes, that's just me. Do I consider it flirting, not really. I'm just giving someone a compliment. You never know...where an email like that can lead to....

I would do what ever you want here, if someone has a problem with that, then they shoudln't respond back to you then.

Exactly...

By taking the time to respond negatively to a positive thing, they are screaming at the top of their lungs, trying to get you to see how screwed up they are... its as if they are also (if you didn't notice) pouring a large vial of shark repellent on themselves for no reason...

What they don't realize is that they just became negatively attractive...

Even if the girl looks like a supermodel, she evidently has the personality of a smashed pumpkin laying along the road after Halloween... with a couple of bruised tomatoes in the bushes behind...

Its very odd that a person would divy out negativity in a response to a nice compliment... and chances are this same person is asking her friends why they think she is still single...

Can't say all of this applies, but its a good study on being cordial, being kind to people in return for compliments, and the reactions most reasonable folks get if you go out of your way to be an ass to them when they are going out of their way to be nice to you...

She could have just as easily smiled and not replied at all... the negative response in return is a big indication of an issue at her end that you need to be running like hell from,,,,,,