How real do YOU want it? How much do I really desire it?? Honesty is so important to me but sometimes I wonder how honest I should be.."House" type honesty or yes I love your new hair style *thinking WHY?? WHY??* honesty. This is really just a rant more than a question but I really would like to meet a woman who feels that being honest is great but there are ways to be diplomatic about it. this is the problem I have run into with online dating, meeting, whatever u wanna call it. I have been divorced for quite awhile now and haven't "dated" anyone for a long time so I'm wonderin'.....how important, in todays screwed up standards and morals.....is being just plain down to earth HONEST?

There's a saying with which I am familiar about whether or not one should say what's on one's mind. The three criteria are: Is it true, is it kind, and is it necessary?

It will seldom come to pass that everything that one says is all 100% of all three criteria at once. Nonetheless, I think that your notion that one should be diplomatic falls under the criterion that one ought to be kind.

For me, I am fascinated by the idea of honesty in relationships. It is my experience that people seldom want it as much as they claim for one simple reason: They like to ask questions to which there is clearly an answer that they would prefer to hear. In such a situation, the true answer is frequently NOT that answer. In my dealings with people, I try never to ask a question if I am not prepared for an honest response. I dislike insecure questions that beg for an uplifting response for the very reason that they don't promote honest communication.

In the same boat brother! Personally there is a difference. Don't sweat the small things. If she loves her new hair style and you don;t, but she asks, well its ok to say "honey you look great". That is being "diplomotic" as you put it and I think a wise and compasionate move. Just don't be deceiving or lie about the important things. I would hope a bit of understanding and reasoning would play in any given situation, since they can all be different. It's a mess out there and both men and women have changed a LOT since the old dating days. Almost like walking on egg shells even to start a conversation anymore. But you have to swing the bat to be in the game. Good luck!

'House' type honesty, not the edited, garnished variety please....I so dislike false platitudes.

I wouldn't ask what my hair looks likes,or whether you like it, or if my butt looks big in this, cause quite frankly, it's my hair and my butt.

well im honest with my women. like i date three women right now. and i told them that im dating other women. i put it like this if she dont like it she can leave.

I think you should ALWAYS be honest, but you can be nice about being honest as well. Like saying something is not flattering is better than saying damn you look like a cow, lol.