I definitely could have used some help shoveling snow when I lived in Michigan.

How are you at rebuilding window frames?

At one time im my marriage I worked a full 50 mile drive one way from home.
I taught my X many things that she needed to be able to do, especially with 4 little children in her care.

I taught her about "our" car. Showed her how to start it with a screwdriver, how to jump start and unstick the choke. She helped me change engines, a transmission and an exhaust. She changed flat tires, did our brake jobs with me and even helped me replace a windshield.

I taught her basic electricity and plumbing. I would get calls at lunch time that the pipe froze and burst but it was fixed or the water was shut off till I get home.

She also built minor wood works, hung our porch swing as a surprise for me and fixed the kids bikes.

I was very proud of her. I praised her accomplishments, even in the beginning when I needed to "refix" some of it. She would help me 'refix' and she would learn where the mistake was and it was fulfilling to her.

I still had my "Honey-Do" list but it was mostly just sharing life. When I wasn't working or so tired I could barely move, we went as a family and did things together. Chores were something we all did so we had more time together doing what we wanted to do.

By contrast, my brother-in-law depends on my sister to take care of things. She rewired their remodling job. She took care of the horses and animals, fixes the well, installed the ice dams over their windows and regravels the driveway. He watches TV and complains a lot but he does cook and take care of the kitchen well.

There is nothing wrong with a self-sufficient woman. At one time I thought that I had made my X too self-sufficient and that is why she went crazy and did what she did but now I don't think that way. It wasn't her ability to handle things herself that caused it. The problem was, we lost love. She didn't "need" me long before our love started to fail, years in fact.

Not good. I pay people with skills I lack to do work that needs done. Money's not an issue.

That's probably what I'll have to do. I'm not good at it either.