I actually do this quite often.

People like to rehash things, discuss things beyond enlightenment and refuse to heed ... "The End Message".

Most of the time, If someone doesn't understand me I will repeat myself up to three times. After that, I will no longer respond unless something new is tabled.

I can hear and I have a fairly good grasp at communication. I don't need to rehash issues or concerns for better understanding. If its gossip, I listen but often refuse to participate. Sometimes I do when I hear gossip that is totally false to what I have witnessed. But for the most part, when I say something, I'm done talking.

If I end or she ends a budding relationship. Once farewell is said, there is no point in talking more. I don't answer because I am done with it.

Well it seems like your sient treatment isnt a punishment tom. Its more like sensible coping mechanism if all your attemps at communication have failed.And I totally agree with your last statement :)

If I am talking to someone and ask them a question and they don't acknowledge it in some way, I will repeat myself just in case they didn't hear me or comprehend what I said. If the continue the silence even after I know they understood me, I let it go. If it comes up again, I ask again.

If someone is trying to get my goat because they are mad at me but don't tell me then I just do what I was going to do anyway.
The X started doing this towards the end.
I would ask if she wanted to stop at the store on the way home and she would fold her arms and look away. I wouldn't stop. LOL, it made her even more mad but that was the fun of it all. I asked, she said nothing so I went about my business.

The loss of communication between two people can mean the discussion has ended, someone has lost interest in the topic or in relationships, the relationship is ending or has ended.

I don't have ppl in my life anymore who practice such behaviour. I need relationships to be built on mutual respect and trust, and such immature behaviour wouldn't allow that, it would ruin it.
If a man would need to withdraw in his "mancave" I could understand, but would still appreciate to be told "I need a bit of time."
Cutting someone off as punishment, nope. Been there, done that. It is manipulation at its best, creates insecurity and co-dependency.

If done not by a partner but by friends, that would be the end of it. Such ppl aren't friends.

If done by immediate family, I would distance myself, and if left no other choice, I'd sever the tie, family or no.

Depends on a lot of things.

Depends on the relationship.
Is it some woman from a dating website where we text more than date?
Is it my mother? Some other family member?
Is it a coworker?
Is it a friend I've known for a month? 20 years?

Depends on why they're giving me the silent treatment?
Is it a difference of opinion? Like I'm a democrat and they're a republican and Obama just got elected?
Is it something major like I didn't go to a funeral? Or because I made a bad pun?
Do they feel I did something wrong, but I'm being stubborn so they won't talk to me until I acknowledge I did something wrong, even though I don't think I did?
Do I feel they did something wrong, and I keep pushing them, and they're running away from it?

Depends on if this is something normal in the relationship.
Do we normally go a week without talking?
Do they routinely do this kind of thing so giving time just blows over?
Is it something new they're doing?
Is it a sign of withdrawing from the relationship?


Just depends.
I can feel anything from nothing particular all the way to some extreme, if they silent treatment me.
I can cope by reciprocating the silent treatment, or just living my life normally, or waiting, or chasing them down.

The silent treatment is hard to maintain under one roof...someone will eventually watch something funny on YouTube, and let out a giggle...then another...which over time, will make the other smile and giggle too...

The silent treatment is not my idea of punishment .. I have much more effective ways if I was wanting to punish someone

If I choose to distance myself from
Someone I will in most cases tell them why .. if it is them
Doing the distancing .. I will ask them why and give them a chance to talk . What happens next is up to them . I can be super stubborn ..but always fair .. i am not afraid to apologise to make things right ., I expect the same from others no matter the relationship

I usually just wait for the ice to melt

I haven't had to deal with such in a long time, fortunately. I'm in the "it depends" group as well.

Getting very serious about this...

our lives consist of all of our choices and actions. NOT of our intentions or desires. And each choice we make, therefore needs to start from the most fundamental, active decision of all.

The question which we MUST ask ourselves is, what exactly are we trying to do? What is the goal of our interaction with this person? If my goal in such a situation is to preserve and continue my life with that person, I would tolerate any action they took as being a part of pursuing that goal. If instead, my goal was to continue my independent life journey, and their goal in playing the silent treatment game was to deflect me from that journey, I would continue on my way and ignore them.

That is not good without communication

Not really, She has nobody. A 66 year old widow.
She never told me which hospital she was in.
I guess she doesn't want me to visit her because if it was important she would have asked.

Perhaps she will write something more response worthy tomorrow and I can ask her. She may not be the one for me but she is still a person.
It hinges on if she writes back and what she says.

PS: She has already had one minor and one major attack and has gone thru open heart surgery. I saw the scar. She said she is okay with that.

I don't do well being manipulated. I shut those people out.
If they stop the manipulation and head games, I let them back in.

I'm a reasonable intelligent adult. I expected to be treated that way.

I relate to everything you said Igor.
That said, I really cant see anyone using the silent punishment to strengthen a relationship

If people want to give me the silent treatment...I'm all for it! It's less I have to hear them run their fricking yap....

I can't say that I've ever, knowingly, experienced the 'silent treatment'.. that being said.. if I did... I would consider it quite immature and I would examine that relationship dynamic.

I quite agree. "The Silent Treatment" is part of the larger category of Self-Righteous Posturing performances. I have never witnessed even a single example of self-righteousness, which was anything but destructive, including of the goals of the person who was performing it. What I was specifically talking about, was my answer to the title question, of what I personally do to COPE with, or respond to it.


By the way, I draw a distinction between "the Silent Treatment," and "going quiet to avoid exploding in anger, or otherwise reacting badly." The Silent Treatment, by design, is based on the idea that the victim already knows why there is silence. It is a form of intentional insult, and nothing more. Going silent while you deal with something tremendously upsetting that the other person has said or done, is a separate behavior.

And by-the-by the way, I HAVE had some very nasty people (who I hadn't realized were that way until then) who did or said horrible things, and then when I DID pause, and withdraw in order to calm down and decide on a response, they attacked me for that, and claimed that I was exhibiting either cowardice, indecision, or that I was giving THEM the Silent Treatment.

It can get rather intricate sometimes.

I actually do this quite often.

People like to rehash things, discuss things beyond enlightenment and refuse to heed ... "The End Message".

Most of the time, If someone doesn't understand me I will repeat myself up to three times. After that, I will no longer respond unless something new is tabled.

I can hear and I have a fairly good grasp at communication. I don't need to rehash issues or concerns for better understanding. If its gossip, I listen but often refuse to participate. Sometimes I do when I hear gossip that is totally false to what I have witnessed. But for the most part, when I say something, I'm done talking.

If I end or she ends a budding relationship. Once farewell is said, there is no point in talking more. I don't answer because I am done with it.

If I am talking to someone and ask them a question and they don't acknowledge it in some way, I will repeat myself just in case they didn't hear me or comprehend what I said. If the continue the silence even after I know they understood me, I let it go. If it comes up again, I ask again.

If someone is trying to get my goat because they are mad at me but don't tell me then I just do what I was going to do anyway.
The X started doing this towards the end.
I would ask if she wanted to stop at the store on the way home and she would fold her arms and look away. I wouldn't stop. LOL, it made her even more mad but that was the fun of it all. I asked, she said nothing so I went about my business.

The loss of communication between two people can mean the discussion has ended, someone has lost interest in the topic or in relationships, the relationship is ending or has ended.

I just let the silent treatment run its course. When the person is ready; they will talk. No point pressuring them.

I don't know....i usually don't associate with people who aren't open with their emotions. Silent treatment to me shines as a sign of immaturity.
I usually don't deal with it.