Recently; I was reading about "How to find the real love" and I discovered several important points in that subject:

For many people will be always very hard to find love because of several aspects of behavior and/or personality...

-they put too many conditions;very rigid conditions
-they are not open-minded people
-they are not really open to love and to be loved
-they don't forget their past
-they don't trust anyone
-they have the difficulty to take decisions
-they have little esteem for themselves
-...and some more

Excellent article about this subject

What do you think??

Thanks in advance for your comments

About what?
About you reading, reading an article?
About the article?
About the summarized points in the OP?
About the articles excellence?

I'm glad you read an article. Good for you. I knew you could do it.

You don't post a link or information directly from what you were reading.

The summarized points aren't very helpful.
" -they put too many conditions;very rigid conditions "
examples would help.
I demand I only romantically date women...is that too rigid of condition?

" -they are not open-minded people "
how is that determined? is there a way to open their mind?
what are the benefits to not having an open mind?
what is the harm?
I mean I could have an extremely open mind and start dating goats.
Where exactly is the line between closed minded, open minded, and just enough between the two so they don't fall in love with a goat?

" -they are not really open to love and to be loved "
is that harming them? is that what they want?
what caused it? what will change it? were they open before but not now?
is it actually love they aren't really open to? Or just certain means of communicating it?
Do they have a narrow or myopic view of how love "should" be communicated?

" -they don't forget their past "
my history teachers would all say "yay!" to that.
so why is not forgetting their past all that bad?

" -they don't trust anyone "
how is that expressed? isn't it common now to believe "trust is earned?"
why should they trust anyone?
do they inherently distrust people? do they not distrust but just not assume trust?
could people be less trustworthy in an "age" where interaction is with strangers over an impersonal medium?
Is it lack of trust or need for control? Of valuing self reliance and independence? So less an issue of not trusting others so much as demanding control and responsibility themselves. It's not that they don't trust others, they're just aware of what they can do and how well they can do it so rely on that. The practice of which is going to lead to communication of not trusting others.

" -they have the difficulty to take decisions "
what kinds of decisions? is indecisiveness due to insecurity? or inability?
is it all decisions on a daily basis?

" -they have little esteem for themselves "
do they have deficient esteem? or a realistic amount of esteem; it's just low? from where do they get what little esteem they do have?
how low is too low, exactly how much esteem should someone have?

If you yourself don't have any of these problems, you simply focus on finding someone else who doesn't.

For the ones who do have those problems, it's their path and theirs to sort out. Some do, some don't.

I let go of being negative about so many ppl being like that and focused solely on what I was like and what I needed from a partner / relationship.
It's basically a matter of shifting your focus. Then I started attracting men who weren't in those problem areas anymore.
Focusing on so many ppl having these issues doesn't help, it keeps your focus on the negative.
And yes, it is true, but how does zooming in on that help you find love? It doesn't.

Lady Crystal....your comment started very bad;you personalize all the points attaching them to a person in particular and that is not good;it's a lack of good behavior and good manners and even good education.

All points written in the post; come from an article I read in recent days and I have the pleasure to share with you for comments in this forum. No more than that.

The best comments are in impersonal or neutral way.That is good education with respect.

I can only go by how you have chosen to phrase what you read, since you did not tell us where to find the article itself.

Going by what you said, there are mistakes.

* most people don't actually set conditions, as you imply (or the article implies). It's more accurate to say that they discover that they have boundaries, and as they discover them, and try to explain them verbally, they SOUND like "conditions."

* Calling someone "closed minded" is often related to the above. Too often, it is an attempt at manipulation, not an attempt to help. It's not being "closed minded" if you know yourself, and know your boundaries and tastes. And it's not "open minded" if you give someone who you actually don't like, the impression that they have a chance with you.

* The thing about not being "open to love and be loved," is a okay observation. Lots of us think we are "ready" in that way, when we are actually not. That isn't usually something that people can just DECIDE TO BE, however. So it's not at all helpful in an article titled "how to find the real love."

* "they don't forget their past" is also not a helpful observation. No one should FORGET their past. They need to learn from it, and understand it, and integrate it's lessons into their current day lives. What they probably meant was, that some people try to make the people they meet now, pat them back for how they were mistreated in the past. That's a matter of self-awareness. You do need to know WHY you make all the choices you make, if you are going to build anything real and true.

* " they don't trust anyone." Again, an important thing to deal with, but stated this way, it doesn't help at all. Trust is NOT something a person can just up and decide to do, especially when intimate emotional things are concerned. Trust that has been lost, or has been damaged by fear, can only be rebuilt from within each person, and it isn't recovered by having someone tell you "you need to TRUST more!" If anything, that sort of action makes things worse.

* "difficulty to take/make decisions." Another true OBSERVATION of what is often true of people who are struggling to find a mate, but yet again, not something that anyone can ACT on. The reason why someone has trouble deciding, is again directly connected to how well they know themselves, and understand what they have been through in their lives. It's like Trust, in that way.

* "low self-esteem." Another often true observation, but again, no one can just up and decide to HAVE self esteem. If they don't have it, they have a lot of work to do, and perhaps could benefit from therapy. But it's not something to list as being a poor dating choice that they have made.

close minded
rigid
frigid
strict
too opinionated
what else comes to mind..
too controlling



these kind of labels are usually hurled out
by someone when you tell them no

Erm... the only one who personalizes here is you and not the first time you do this to me. If you can't treat another and their view with respect, then don't reply.

I take it you do know that the word "you" can mean you directly, as in you, Jazzinc, but also "you" as in general?
In any case I do not like to get your patronizing replies time and again. Everyone is free to respond on these forums, and I do so from what I've learnt.
If you feel personally attacked, grow thicker skin. That's what a mod told me when I first got here. I wasn't even addressing you.

There is plenty I could say, but I will simply mention that I liked your post and ideas Crystal.

There are sorts if reasons why do not have a partner or true love. It does not have to been anything negative.

How sad and disappointing!!

Be a better and more respectful person

It's the best for you

The End.............................................

I take your full comment as your personal opinion related to the original post. Words and semantic points are personal too. Thanks for comment.