I find it strange that people will often say things like:

Going to TAKE a shower or go TAKE your shower, I just TOOK a shower.
Taking a Bath.
Taking a walk.
Taking a drive.
Be right back gotta go take a piss.
I'm taking a test.
First you have to take the driving test.

If you ask someone where they took their bath the answer is often "in the Bathroom".
Where did you take your drive? Oh, we did a big loop around the city. These answers seem completely normal.

I've got to wrap this up, I have dishes to do. Said to you over the phone.
I have to do my dishes, My dishes are done.

While it makes no sense literally, people seem to perfectly understand the implied meaning.

Now consider a moment to understand the significance of understanding all the common phrases and their hidden but well-known meanings and implications.

Imagine saying those phrases to a domestic robot.

You tell it to 'take' a walk and it starts ripping up the sidewalk and stops and says "to where sir?".
It might register the command as a conflict and lock itself into an infinity loop as it ponders all the possible implications of the command.
Unless someone programs 'Take a Walk' to mean a specific thing.

I find it fascinating that such simple to understand implied meanings become very complex when the implied meaning is not understood.

When someone says "I'll be right back, I have to go DO my dishes" imagine them taking a hammer and smashing all the dishes in their house. We understand the phrase to mean they are going to wash, dry and put away their dishes but DO can mean anything in the literal sense.

Like common phrases differ from person to person, region to region, our understanding and use of implied meaning phrases differ.
Yet somehow we cope with those differences and function as a society.

In dating and relationships sometimes implied meanings get mixed up with the literal meanings. When that happens, attitudes can flare up and situations can spiral out of control.

I practice trying to say exactly what I mean to say. It makes communication more effective and reduces the amount of misinterpetation. Once a pattern is established slang has a higher degree of accuracy to the listener.

Have you ever made someone angry because you used the wrong words and they misunderstood your true meaning? You had to end up explaining what you meant anyway so why don't we say what we mean the first time?

I really think most of the times we say something , we think we are being clear. We only learn that our communication failed after we receive feedback. Once I disscover my failure , I try to clarify

I understand.

We tend to assume that others understand our implied meaning.

In the past I had a lot of trouble with this. Its why I try to say the words that mean what I am saying. I do find that there is less conflicting feedback. Plus I usually don't have to rephrase what I say (I often have to repeat it tho).

Another question I pose:
Do you think people are tuned to implied meanings to the point that when you are specific, the meaning escapes them?
(Not directed specifically towards anyone, just a general question)

I have said specific things to people clearly and worded correctly and I get a response of "What do you mean by that?" My response is usually "Exactly what I said"
I'm curious as to why I would need to reinforce a concise statement for their understanding?

Is saying what you mean and meaning what you say a lost art in today's society? Are we conditioned to expect implied meanings?

I work as a Spanish interpreter. What you're talking about is noticeable when you have to reproduce it with meaning in a different language

Great point!

Language barriers are tough to get around.

I've also noticed that there is confusion sometimes in regional slang as well.
I grew up in NW Pennsylvania.
I now live in the deep South.

My military service taught me much but I find that I am still having to deal with misunderstandings based on differences between Northern and Southern implied meanings.

My time in different countries also enlightened me to differences in body language and gestures. Even here in the States there are subtle differences in those as well.

How often, in casual conversation, do we mind what we say for accuracy and what we gesture for effect?

When I was in the UK I had trouble because even the English is different. Often times what people said to me conflicted with the body language or gestures they used.

If I was dating a woman that has spent most of her life surrounded by old (royal?)English dialog and mannerisms we may have problems with our implied meanings. Even casual conversation would require conscious effort for accuracy.

Yes and no.

I've made people angry because I used the right words and they misunderstood what I was saying because of their own bias.

I've made people angry because I took my time to use the right words and they were impatient.

I've made people angry because I purposely used the wrong words and they understood the false information; where I led them.

Other than that, if I've used the wrong words, then they can't really misunderstand my true meaning, only incapable of figuring out what I intended.


The/your brain does not think in language.
You think. That is then translated into words.

Anything you say or type is playing a game of telephone before it leaves your mouth/hands.

Many people think, translate/build it into pictures, or sounds, colors, (a process which is faster than describing it), and at some point language, and then express it vocally.

People do communicate what they mean the first time.
They don't always communicate what they mean in the same way the other person understands, as socialized/normalized by culture and language.

No one is inherently versed in the how another person associates concepts, ideas, information, feelings, words, etc.

Other than that, what comes out of your mouth is the least meaningful portion of communication.


I don't understand what you mean by "implied meanings."
People are naturally "tuned" to indirect communication, and to interpret information according to context.


I don't know.
Providing the concise statement would help.
Maybe you weren't as concise as you thought you were.
Maybe the words you used had different meanings.
Maybe the context of the conversation up to that point led to perceived ambiguity in a concise statement.
Irony, sarcasm, humor, can all take advantage of that situation.


No. Having an expansive vocabulary seems to be, though. idk, meh, tldr, ROFLMAO j/k cul8r.


We are born to naturally expect "implied meanings."
Babies crying, yawning, aggressive stances, facial expression.
All sorts of "implied meanings" and messages.


Depends on the relationship with the person we are having "casual conversation" with.
Depends on a lot of things. First time meeting the POTUS and you're at a dinner table with him having a "casual conversation" vs. some random person on the bus that won't stop talking to you vs some random country's president that doesn't speak your language.
Depends on what you want out of the "casual conversation."
Depends on social status and position.
Depends on your mood. Depends on your habits.


That's generally why people come up with laws and rules and protocols and etiquette.
Like the one some people were talking about earlier where the POTUS always walks through a doorway first, or is served dinner before his wife.
This reminds me of a fun book I once read titled "kiss, bow, or shake hands."

It actually depends on every individual, some people can easily grasp the idea of what you're trying to imply with your indirect words, but others need more explanation in order to understand what you really mean. It's up to you to size up the person you are dealing with. Too much words or explanation doesn't necessarily mean that you have clearly and understandably conveyed what you really mean, it depends on one's perception. Some have high IQ , some have low level of understanding, some are very understanding and considerate, some are just too hard-headed to get your point. Being straight forward is good but sometimes it fails. How you convey or deliver the right messages across the receiver or listener depends on your judgement of the person you are dealing with. Communication is a two way process one has to talk comprehensibly and the other should listen carefully and try to decipher the words being conveyed but it involves communication skills as well as behavioral study of every individual.

I'm the second robot I wont reply unless I can figure out the implied meaning. More often then not, I will not reply to somthing if I can't figure out the implied meaning. I have a problem with me, saying things with implied meanings and it can leave people confused. All you have to do is ask me what I mean by that and I will tell you. The reason I use implied meanings is to help me find who is interested enuff to understand what I mean. If they don't take enuff time to understand me then what am I to expect in a relationship. If I do end up in a relationship I hope that they will want to understand me just as much as I want to understand them. Im not saying that I won't use straight answers but that you shouldn't try and understand me unless you want to. You can say I'm rude in doing so but women speak in so many different ways that its not even funny how confused they can make us.

True that, but I find trying to find their IQ level kind of invasive. You can have a high IQ and not be able to spell. It mostly matters how they can interpret your understanding of the subject. I prefer a woman with a good sense of humor because I have a tendency to pick on people no matter their level of intelligence.

Good topic thank you

After several years of feeling frustrated, I decided to quit trying to master the art of reading people's minds. I am more likely to take things literal. So if I don't ask for clarification I, more often that not, misinterpret what they are saying.

I do think people are more tuned into implied meanings, and very few people say what they mean and mean what they say. I sometimes wonder why, and I think it's because people want to believe what they want to believe, rather than what they are being told.

I find when I ask someone what they mean, the usual response is, "Well, you know what I mean", or "You should know what I mean". My reply to that is, "No, I don't", and they get upset or frustrated because they believe I ought to have known.

Statements like, "I'll be right back", or "I'll be there soon", bother me because what is "right back" and "soon" could be within 5 or 10 minutes to me, but one or two hours to them. At work a guest will ask for a "couple" towels, so I hand them two and they say "I'd like three...or four". So now I ask them "A couple meaning two?" Some look at me like I'm stupid, others say "Yes" or "No, I meant four".

When I worked in Special Education, you had to say exactly what you meant with these children, especially the children who were gifted with autism. And I found the same with being a parent, say what you mean, mean what you say. It makes life so much easier and communication less confusing.

Some of the examples you stated are a little comical when you think about it.



I often want to ask them where they are taking it to, lol. But, I too am guilty of using the same terminology with these type of statements.

Thanks Tom, your topic is very thought provoking.

I don't care to TAKE a punch.

Not physically anyway. Figuratively, as a part of trying to help communications succeed, I do it all the time.

Something I want to point out in this subject area, is a very common phenomenon I see occur. That is, that most of the time, most people actually DO say what they mean, directly. But with a very big built-in problem. That problem is, that a lot of people learn to write and speak, by way of IDIOMS and SHORT PHRASES of various kinds, without ever learning the specific meanings of each word they use, or the history of the catch phrase they utter, before using them.

That has the functional result, that they THINK that they clearly said something, because that's what they THOUGHT they understood correctly when someone else taught them the phrase years before.

That is made even worse, by the plethora of IMPLIED social rules that forms of human communication all carry with them. Most people learn, albeit indirectly, from the time they are very young, that some certain subjects must always be addressed obliquely (such as the fact that they may need to squeeze out a chunk of processed food waste from one of their orifices that they already know they aren't supposed to admit that they even have); and that some other subjects mustn't be addressed directly at all, save with a very narrow range of specialists or spouses and so on.

The result of those factors is often that one person ends up putting on their serious face (presentation mode A, designed to communicate the "no jokes allowed" format), makes a statement made up of cliches and idioms that doesn't quite say what they think it does, and the person they say it to, knows by training that they aren't allowed to ask enough questions to know what was really meant. Then a few hours or days later, onlookers witness the classic post-mistaken behavior conversation, in which the first person says "I specifically told you NOT to do that," and the relationship is declared to be in serious jeopardy.

It's all part of what triggered one of my own personal "wise sayings," which goes "it's not what you DON'T know, that gets you into trouble, it's what you THINK you know, that aint so."

Wonderful responses and expressions on this topic, thank you.
Every respondent has something to contribute to figuring out interpersonal communication dynamics.

When we communicate effectively we never really think about what was involved in the process but when there is a conflict of understanding sometimes we examine what we said, or heard, to see if we said or heard what was really intended.

I learned that the words we speak can't be redacted. Once they are said they are said. Even when we say exactly what we mean it can mindset something different in another. Here is an example.

We go out on a date after a short time of knowing each other.
"I had a wonderful time with you tonight. Maybe we can do it again sometime?"
She goes home and plays out scenarios in her mind about our next date.
Then she sees you some evening with a different woman, she hides and watches. She notices that you are treating that other woman the same way you treated her? She gets angry. You said you wanted to date her again and yet you are dating someone else!
You didn't lie. You DID have a wonderful time in her company that night. You do want to do it again with her in the future. You said what you meant.

The implied meaning was different for you than it was for her. You thought you were being perfectly clear. To you, there was no need to state that you will be dating other women in the mean time. That was implied because you would have said if you only wanted to date her. When you call for that next date she is hostile and says no. You sit there trying to figure out what you did wrong?

In this way concise meanings become implied meanings due to omission. What was not said, but assumed, changes the meaning for the listener.

Personally I am one to repeat things back to people when they say something. Not sure why I started doing that? I do know that in school I learned by writing what I read but in my own words.
Most people don't notice when I repeat their words back to them but they do react to it. One woman noticed everytime. The first time I did it she got a look on her face that was purely comical. My X would try to tell me I was always putting words in her mouth. They were her words but I put them into her ears.

I find that more often than not when I repeat something back to someone they disagree. Their first words are usually "no" or "I didn't say that" or "Well, I meant to say". I didn't change their words I just focused what they said back to their ears. Sometimes it takes three or four tries to get their meaning out there. Then I wonder why they didn't just say THAT in the first place?

I don't believe intelligence is a major factor in expressing meaning. I have talked with many less intelligent people and found that they usually do say what they mean plainly. What they say is usually emotionally charged. I have also talked with highly intelligent people that say what they mean plainly.