Hi,everyone out there in cyberspace. In case you didn't guess, I'm 5 days new. First I want to say your chit-chat has been very helpful in my getting over a very hurtful experience. A month ago yesterday, after numerous signs, I found out my wife of 23 years and girlfriend of 10 years before that was having an affair with a guy she met on a dating site- I don't know which one. For the past year, her drinking had gotten out of hand, and she refused to have sex with me, using the reason "menopause". She always wrote down on calendars each year, her form of diaries. She would leave them around if they were general things, like how long in between dying her hair, lunch dates with her mom and sister, things like that. But, after I found a tube of ky lube that was warming, I asked her what that was for since she wasn't having sex with me. She hesitantly says "masturbating". Combining this with coming home after "four hours of shopping" but one bag, drunk out of her mind and passing out on the toilet and lie after lie, I decided to do some snopping in our bedroom. Under the bed were 3 calenders detailing her affair. Every time she "serviced" him, every time they "made love?" was written in code at first, then outright. I waited till she came home that night(found out she was at a family planning clinic of all places) and confronted her. I've never hit her, never cheated on her and loved her more than anyone in my life besides my son. But, is this what a nice guy is supposed to receive in return? What is my son,18 years old, expected to think about women(he now knows everything) My point here is for all you out there, men and women, realize what infidelity can do. My life is destroyed,but with time I'll have to get over it. You can only go without food and sleep so long. My son has a mother who will always be "the cheater". My wife's family will never see me at holidays and birthdays again. Who knows what my wife is thinking-she's still going to the guys house. Nobody knows who he is, where he lives or what he's capable of in the future. It's too late for me, but if you are ever tempted to mess with a married person, I hope this story helps you make the right decision! Thanks for listening. I hope I didn't bum you out. I just don't wish this on anyone! Cornman

too late, already happened to me after 28 years

I am so sorry. I know the pain you are going through. Being cheated on,lied to,etc. by the one person you thought you could trust is heartbreaking. I hope you find the strength to heal. Prayers going out to you.

MY HANDS UP HERE TO...
It happened to me after 16 years together and it was a BIG SHOCK
and it still will always be in the back of my head how someone could love YOU and STILL f--k another, but it happens...

Sorry for both of you guys, and time will make life feel better....

I'm sorry to hear that. Truly sorry. I have been cheated on too numerous times. My wife of 4 years and girlfriend of 3 before that is leaving me as we speak. She cheated on me in the beginings of our marriage and we tried to work through it and we did for a time. But the hurt never goes away. And the trust never returns. So i know it is hurtful in many ways. Because not only is your wife your lover but also your best friend. But my advice to you is to get with a social group. Meet some friends male or female and they will help you. Don't try to go it alone. Some times just 'hanging out' with someone can take your mind off of things. Or find a hobby that you and your kid like together and strengthen that bond. Women will come and go in your life but your kid is a part of you. That and doing something with your son will help take you mind off of the pain. Trust me.

I feel your pain. People can be viscous. It's so sad that we have to spend so much time of our lives getting over the heartbreak of another that could have so easily been prevented.
My heart goes out to ya man.
Tom

Thank you everyone, I feel better already. I guess it's true "misery loves company". Now that I've got that off my chest, where' the party? It's Saturday night! Thanks,again Cornman, I will survive!