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Topic: Loving Unexpectedly
SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 04/07/17 05:11 AM



Or perhaps you're talking about that moment when you're in a relationship..
When you find yourself Falling in Love..
We've all been there the relationship is casual..
You're not quite a hundred percent sure about the relationship but then one day you wake up and look at the other person and say to yourself or them..WOW.. I think I might be in love with you

doc.. how many times does it happen till the real one shows u? this is not me trying to be smart OK just curious :nerd:
..ummm.. not really sure what you mean?.. are you asking how many people do you have to go through dating-wise ...before your forever and ever person shows up..?
..well.. I like to believe everyone you meet and date is the forever and ever person...
Until they're not...


I think this is by far the wisest reply in here...
There is no such thing as just the one that will be THE match for the rest of your life. It can happen, sure, but as people grow, learn and develop throughout the years, they may find that the person that used to be 'the one' isn't anymore. Then you can forcefully stay together because you vowed to do that, or you can choose to part as friends and go your own way in life.
Nothing wrong with that, it's the best for both parties when you don't bring each other the joy you need in life anymore.

When I married my husband at 24, he was the best match for me. Not for life. But at that time, that phase. He gave me what I needed.

The man I spent another 10 years with was what I needed when I met him to grow and learn. But he wasn't the one, even though at the time I felt he was. I would've married him had he proposed, I wanted to grow old with him.
But it turned out quite soon he was not the man that could make me happy, far cry from it.

The man I met last year does feel like the one I could spend the rest of my life with and be totally fulfilled on all aspects of life. Something I have never encountered before. It was always a few aspects, not all. And I need all in order to be happy. He does have that, give me that.

But... had I met him lets say 20 years ago, we might not have made a great match at all. Because he still had to grow and learn, and so did I.

THat, however, does NOT render the other partners we have had throughout our lives any less important. Without those people neither he nor I would've been who we are today. Without those exes we would likely not have been the great match we are now.

Important thing to remember is that you shouldn't treat or think of current partners as stepping stones to THE one. The one your with at any given moment in time IS the one. Maybe not for the rest of your life, but at that moment they sure as heck are. And should be regarded as such.
No matter how much in love you are, you never ever get any guarantees that it will last. Some think marriage is a guarantee, it is NOT. There are no guarantees.

So what PhD said was very profound, more so than I think he realized :wink:

"They are the right one until they are not."
It's as simple as that.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 04/07/17 05:15 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Fri 04/07/17 05:16 AM
As for loving unexpectedly... yes, that does happen. Happened to me last year when he and I met :heart: Right away, very first date, totally unexpected, totally out of the blue. Not just me, both of us.
.
.

no photo
Fri 04/07/17 06:21 AM

As for loving unexpectedly... yes, that does happen. Happened to me last year when he and I met :heart: Right away, very first date, totally unexpected, totally out of the blue. Not just me, both of us.
.
.

so happy for you crystal :thumbsup: i miss your posts

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 04/07/17 06:38 AM


As for loving unexpectedly... yes, that does happen. Happened to me last year when he and I met :heart: Right away, very first date, totally unexpected, totally out of the blue. Not just me, both of us.
.
.

so happy for you crystal :thumbsup: i miss your posts

Hi Sceptical! Thank you! Feels nice to know ppl miss me :)
I've never really left, just been incredibly busy this year!
flowerforyou waving

no1phD's photo
Fri 04/07/17 07:40 AM




Or perhaps you're talking about that moment when you're in a relationship..
When you find yourself Falling in Love..
We've all been there the relationship is casual..
You're not quite a hundred percent sure about the relationship but then one day you wake up and look at the other person and say to yourself or them..WOW.. I think I might be in love with you

doc.. how many times does it happen till the real one shows u? this is not me trying to be smart OK just curious :nerd:
..ummm.. not really sure what you mean?.. are you asking how many people do you have to go through dating-wise ...before your forever and ever person shows up..?
..well.. I like to believe everyone you meet and date is the forever and ever person...
Until they're not...


I think this is by far the wisest reply in here...
There is no such thing as just the one that will be THE match for the rest of your life. It can happen, sure, but as people grow, learn and develop throughout the years, they may find that the person that used to be 'the one' isn't anymore. Then you can forcefully stay together because you vowed to do that, or you can choose to part as friends and go your own way in life.
Nothing wrong with that, it's the best for both parties when you don't bring each other the joy you need in life anymore.

When I married my husband at 24, he was the best match for me. Not for life. But at that time, that phase. He gave me what I needed.

The man I spent another 10 years with was what I needed when I met him to grow and learn. But he wasn't the one, even though at the time I felt he was. I would've married him had he proposed, I wanted to grow old with him.
But it turned out quite soon he was not the man that could make me happy, far cry from it.

The man I met last year does feel like the one I could spend the rest of my life with and be totally fulfilled on all aspects of life. Something I have never encountered before. It was always a few aspects, not all. And I need all in order to be happy. He does have that, give me that.

But... had I met him lets say 20 years ago, we might not have made a great match at all. Because he still had to grow and learn, and so did I.

THat, however, does NOT render the other partners we have had throughout our lives any less important. Without those people neither he nor I would've been who we are today. Without those exes we would likely not have been the great match we are now.

Important thing to remember is that you shouldn't treat or think of current partners as stepping stones to THE one. The one your with at any given moment in time IS the one. Maybe not for the rest of your life, but at that moment they sure as heck are. And should be regarded as such.
No matter how much in love you are, you never ever get any guarantees that it will last. Some think marriage is a guarantee, it is NOT. There are no guarantees.

So what PhD said was very profound, more so than I think he realized :wink:

"They are the right one until they are not."
It's as simple as that.
.. sticks his tongue out at her..
Well I'm entitled to my opinion..lol..

no1phD's photo
Fri 04/07/17 07:42 AM

As for loving unexpectedly... yes, that does happen. Happened to me last year when he and I met :heart: Right away, very first date, totally unexpected, totally out of the blue. Not just me, both of us.
.
.
..well.. according to your own advice try not to think of him as your .. forever and ever person..lol.wink.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 04/07/17 08:23 AM


As for loving unexpectedly... yes, that does happen. Happened to me last year when he and I met :heart: Right away, very first date, totally unexpected, totally out of the blue. Not just me, both of us.
.
.
..well.. according to your own advice try not to think of him as your .. forever and ever person..lol.wink.

Smart @$$ lol. but quite correct and duly noted flowerforyou

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 04/07/17 08:25 AM





Or perhaps you're talking about that moment when you're in a relationship..
When you find yourself Falling in Love..
We've all been there the relationship is casual..
You're not quite a hundred percent sure about the relationship but then one day you wake up and look at the other person and say to yourself or them..WOW.. I think I might be in love with you

doc.. how many times does it happen till the real one shows u? this is not me trying to be smart OK just curious :nerd:
..ummm.. not really sure what you mean?.. are you asking how many people do you have to go through dating-wise ...before your forever and ever person shows up..?
..well.. I like to believe everyone you meet and date is the forever and ever person...
Until they're not...


I think this is by far the wisest reply in here...
There is no such thing as just the one that will be THE match for the rest of your life. It can happen, sure, but as people grow, learn and develop throughout the years, they may find that the person that used to be 'the one' isn't anymore. Then you can forcefully stay together because you vowed to do that, or you can choose to part as friends and go your own way in life.
Nothing wrong with that, it's the best for both parties when you don't bring each other the joy you need in life anymore.

When I married my husband at 24, he was the best match for me. Not for life. But at that time, that phase. He gave me what I needed.

The man I spent another 10 years with was what I needed when I met him to grow and learn. But he wasn't the one, even though at the time I felt he was. I would've married him had he proposed, I wanted to grow old with him.
But it turned out quite soon he was not the man that could make me happy, far cry from it.

The man I met last year does feel like the one I could spend the rest of my life with and be totally fulfilled on all aspects of life. Something I have never encountered before. It was always a few aspects, not all. And I need all in order to be happy. He does have that, give me that.

But... had I met him lets say 20 years ago, we might not have made a great match at all. Because he still had to grow and learn, and so did I.

THat, however, does NOT render the other partners we have had throughout our lives any less important. Without those people neither he nor I would've been who we are today. Without those exes we would likely not have been the great match we are now.

Important thing to remember is that you shouldn't treat or think of current partners as stepping stones to THE one. The one your with at any given moment in time IS the one. Maybe not for the rest of your life, but at that moment they sure as heck are. And should be regarded as such.
No matter how much in love you are, you never ever get any guarantees that it will last. Some think marriage is a guarantee, it is NOT. There are no guarantees.

So what PhD said was very profound, more so than I think he realized :wink:

"They are the right one until they are not."
It's as simple as that.
.. sticks his tongue out at her..
Well I'm entitled to my opinion..lol..

Grin... ANd almost verbatim the lyrics I got in my head from Joss Stone's Right to be Wrong:
"You're entitled to your opinion... but it's really my decision"
Can't get the friggin' song out of my head

PacificStar48's photo
Fri 04/07/17 07:58 PM
I sure hope I always go into said relationship as forever. If I ever get to the temporary lover thing I hope I just stay single.

The whole moving in/breaking up thing is just too exhausting to set it up from the get.

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