Thinking about this with my sister's wedding coming up.

I never 'officially' took my ex-husband's last name. I hyphenated for work (was asked to by my director at work--was known by my maiden name) and had second thoughts when it was time to change it when I was pregnant. It was strange. This was the name my parents gave me and I just did not want to change it. We separated before I went through the name change process.

So, what do you do? What did you do? Take him name? Hyphenate? Go back to your maiden name if divorced? For the guys, did you want your ex to 'give your name back'?

Hugs, M

For me, I never got used to my "married" name so going back to my own. If I ever get married again, I'm keeping my maiden name. It's nothing personal, just my name is part of who I am, I discovered that so I'm keeping it.

Never been married. My older sister hyphenated her name, my other sister didn't change her name but both of their kids have a hyphenated name.


Oh and on a side note here if I ever did get married I wouldn't care if they changed their name or not

I can't imagine where it really matters, it's just traditional.

I don't think I'll wear a wedding ring either, if it comes to it. I don't particularly like jewelry and particularly not rings, so, well, there you go.

Hugs to you both.

However, Suz, you are silly. No jewels? My father would roll over in his grave. He was a jeweler. But whatever makes you happy!

I teased my new beau that I could never take his name or even hypenate (our names both end in ER and would rhyme).

Well, my ex-wife asked me if she could keep my last name. I said sure. It doesn't bother me that she is still Mrs. Goofball, but only in name. We are divorced, and she wanted to keep my name? I found that weird that she wanted to, but, no biggie to me.

I think in your case Michelle, you were already known in the business world as your maiden name. So, either keep it hyphenated or go back to your maiden name. Nothing wrong with losing the ex-spouses name at all. I mean, he is your ex.

Like I said, I don't care that my ex still has my last name as hers. I don't get it, and I am sure her boyfriend name probably doesn't like it. But it doesn't bother me.

You should make him hyphenate his name like in Saving Silverman

suzinva if I divorced and would take my maiden name and keep it that way. It's part of who you are I think. Also on the ring thing it would be cheaper on the man wouldn't be out all that money for something you wouldn't wear.....my husband very rarely wears his...oh well!!! Each to their own...

Easy, don't do the m word thing...problem solved.

Ahhh, Goofball, I use my maiden name. Never changed it 'officially' and have been divorced for over 5 years. Probably will go to my grave with it. It is the name my parents gave me and why should I change it for society?

Hi Jess! I'm sort of at a point in my life where, I'm not totally opposed to getting remarried but not sure it's particularly necessary either. A committed relationship, sure, would love that again but I could go either way on marriage.

I know, my girlfriends are always telling me to shut up about not liking jewelry, they're afraid they're partners will want them to change I don't like shopping either or clothes or makeup or perfume either (though I will wear makeup and perfume when it's called for ) Shoes, on the other hand, can't have too many!

I kept my married name simply for the sake of my kids while they were still in school, then it wouldn't be so confusing to the school staff or the kids. Still have the married name too....have had it so long now it too has become "normal", so why change it back now?

Hi Suz

How funny... I can have plenty of male friends, and no shoes...

No jewellery, and maybe a bit of the old eyeliner, mascara deal if going to something big...

No m word for me...I don't require the patriarchal entrapment.

Committed? hmmm.. I think I would need committing...rather than enter a committed relationship... I think I transcended that part of relationships ages ago...

Well let me ask you this Michelle. You might know the answer, or you might not. Why is it that an ex-wife wants to keep her married name, even when she is divorced? I just never got that, and, in all honesty, my ex never could give me a reason. I am thinking she was just too lazy to go and change it.

Goofball, is that a pic of Jett Lee ( was that the main actor's name?) from The Crow?

Hi Goofball, to throw up a possible answer to your question, it could be that she's just grown used to her new name and doesn't feel the need to change. It is a pain to change your name. This will be the second time I've done it. Don't know whether you have kids but that could be part of the reason, as well.

I checked with my son about changing my name and his only question was whether he had to change his name as well. When I said no, he could care less but some kids do.

Or, she could be lazy

when i got married i took my husbands last name, when i was getting divorced i was going back to my maiden name and my daughter got so upset that i now have two last names. it isn't hyphenated, just two last names. if i ever get married again, i'll see whether or not if i take his last name. but hopefully soon, i'll be able to get rid of the ex's part of my last name, just gotta get the money to do it.

Goofball, it is different for everyone. The reason I was thinking about it is because my sister is getting married. She still uses her first husband's name. She has 2 kids that were in elementary school when she separated. Some people keep the married name for the kids. My boy was too young to know what my name was (other than dinner) when my ex and I separated.

Lee, does this mean we are not exclusive? LMAO. Hugs, my sister down under.

i never asked and she hyphenated.
but as i get older and think of it when the subject comes up i realize its what our mothers did at least when mine got married.
maybe it represented a stronger commitment or something back then aas well as being the norma.
to me its like people not wearing wedding rings. some do some don't. i think they should wear the rings but a name is really a personal choose. as long as everyone is happy with the decision.

Michele...we are exclusive, my stalking one in the North...