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| Topic: Are you a jealous person? | |
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Jealousy is a control thing. Grown ups do not want to have to explain their every move to someone. Or explain why they are talking to someone.
After awhile.. a short while.. that grows thin I think it a insecurity of sorts. |
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Edited by
NotPay4Play
on
Sat 01/21/17 09:22 AM
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how do you make your text red? Found in the bbcodes test section of the help forums. Colored text: Red makes Red, most standard color names will work. Hex color codes like color=#123456 are also supported. With open bracket color=red close bracket red open bracket /color close bracket. |
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It's not inherently unhealthy to a relationship. Depends on the relationship. Depends on the people. Depends on what's triggering the jealousy. Depends on how jealousy is being expressed. Depends on if the jealous person is focused on proving the feeling "right," or using it as motivation to figure out (and possibly fix) what's "wrong." Not Inherently Unhealthy? Yes, I think it is. Jealousy is a complex emotion that encompasses many different kinds of feelings ranging from fear of abandonment to rage and humiliation. Jealousy can strike both men and women when a third-party threat to a valued relationship is perceived, it can be a problem among siblings competing for parental attention, or envy after a more successful friend. Conventional wisdom holds that jealousy is a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds, but jealously usually does more harm than good, creating relationship conflict and strife. SOURCE ~ https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/jealousy Of course you are entitled to your opinion, but in my view this quote only shows you shouldn't rely on science too much. And I am quite sure this is based on the obsessive jealousy, which most of the times is not the case when someone feels a pang of jealousy. There's nothing wrong with a bit of jealousy, whether it is 'wrong', depends on all the stuff Ciretom said. You don't need a shrink to tell you it is unhealthy. It's like occasionally getting angry. Would you have to see a shrink for that? I think not. Yet, if you Google 'anger issues' you may find their definition on it, explaining how bad it is, just like this one. Jealousy is not always a 'medical' issue (mostly it is NOT), nor is feeling any other negative emotion from time to time. We're human beings, not robots, and not perfect, nor should we strive to be. Jealosy is a negative emotional state. It is in contrast to what a healthy relationship is. People tend to think they need a contrast to highlight the best more vividly. Healthy relationships are vivid on their own. A healthy relationship is not smiles and laughter 24/7. A healthy relationship is mostly happy, and because of that it can handle some upheaval without damage. THAT is a sign of trust, because you then know and trust that no matter what, you're okay as a couple. How can there be trust if simply feeling a pang of jealousy could/would mean the end of the relationship? "Depends" is a cop-out answer. It plays on people's inability to be decisive. All it does is state that there are probabilities in a chaotic Universe. if the jealous person is focused on proving the feeling "right," or using it as motivation to figure out (and possibly fix) what's "wrong." It has been my experience that jealousy fixes nothing. It proves only that trust is broken. Sorry to say, but you're not reading what was said, instead ripping it out of context for your convenience and twisting it into something else entirely... I'm sure everyone feels jealousy at one time or another in a relationship. When trust is established that jealousy can be dismissed before it becomes an issue by communicating with your partner over your concerns. If their actions continue to illicit jealousy either the partner has lied (trust issue) or you do not accept their answer (trust issue). When their behavior is not what you desire then that person is not the right person for you. End the relationship and find someone that is. Meaning you agree with Ciretom after all, cos this is the long version of what he said (it depends on ...). So, once again I am wrong. Go figure. I guess I went to the wrong school of life when assessing my lessons learned. I always knew I was different than most people. Perhaps I should just keep my comments and opinions to myself? I'm jealous that I don't fit into anyone elses expectations. Thanx for that. |
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