I am sometimes at the end of my rope. I lost my Mom to breast cancer (met) in April of 05. She was 63. She fought for 8 yrs.

My younger sister was diagnosed with breast cancer in 01. She was 39. She had already metastasized by the time they found it. Stage 4. She had a mastectomy and chemo. Then another round of chemo. The a period of a year with no growth of the cancer. Not exactly a "remission" but , no growth. She went off chemo, and had a great year of a nearly normal life. The cancer started growing and taking over almost 2 yrs ago. She has been going thru more chemo "trials", they are kicking her butt. The last round they have canceled due the the side effects knocking her on her butt.
We know its only a matter of time. She really thought she could beat this. She is now 45. Its not looking good. I am beyond greif stricken. She is my best friend. She is the sweetest, kindest woman anyone will ever meet. She has been thru so much in her life.

I don't know how to deal with this. I am trying to be supportive to her feelings and needs. She says she needs me to understand an be supportive of her needing to move on. I want to , In my brain. My heart just can't cope.

Thank you for just letting me vent.

Check with your hospital to see if they have a cancer patient support group and a group for family members too. Or you could maybe go to the group with her for cancer patients and get support for yourself while you support her too. You both need support and these groups are very powerful. You would meet people in the same situation, dealing with the same feelings, and they may have ideas to help you get through this time. Most hospitals have social workers too and they will meet with people, and they know what groups and services are available out there. I talked to one of them at our hospital and he helped me get my dad into the nursing home and he helped me deal with my brother's death also. I really would encourage you to look into this possibility.

Also call the American Cancer Society, they are usually listed in the phone book and see what services they offer. But I really encourage you to check into the support groups, both for the patient and the family members, or go to the one with the patient with the patient. I really think it will help you immensely, there is so much power in groups.

I wish I had some better ideas, but I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. I hope things work out for you and your families. Take care. My aunt was just diagnosed with pancreas cancer and cancer runs through my dad's family big time, so lots to think about and deal with there too.

i had overian cancer and i survived. but im very saddened how fast they got me in there and didnt give me time to think about me wanting more children. i wanted a baby girl and now i wont be able to have one. plus are unsurance didnt cover much so there cant be an agency adoption because they cost over 20.000 and i dont have that.

Just Lost a good friend in January to pancreatic cancer-he fought hard for 10 months while undergoing an experiemental treatment progrom at OU. He was very blessed that god gave him time to spend with his wife and kids. caring bridge is a site that can be helpful