I apologize before hand for the long post. But honestly, I could care less if you all vote to delete this or rise from your seats with applause. I titled this honesty, honestly because I've been reading a ton of posts on these forums and one main theme seems to be honesty. People want other people to be honest with them about who they are, how they feel, what they want.

To borrow from a Jack Nicholson quote "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth." The title of the movie escapes me, and it may not be word for word but it's appropriate.

If you claim not to ever lie, you're lying. Whether you call it bending the truth, or not wanting to hurt someone's feeling, or blatantly relate something you know to be false, it is lying. An innocent child is hushed when she says "Mommy, that lady is really fat." God forbid the overweight woman standing in front of them in the grocery store overhears and feels bad. Honest people lie to spare people hurt feelings more often than not. Is it wrong? In my opinion, no. Do you tell someone that expresses an interest in you that they physically repulse you or do you say you're not ready for a relationship at this point in your life? When someone asks how you doing today, do you tell them that the thought of suicide invades your every waking moment or do you say I've had better days? We sugar coat the truth out of fear. Fear of being judged, of being disliked, of feeling feelings we don't want to feel. We admit what we want others to know and keep our deepest, darkest thoughts buried. Hell, half the time, we can't be honest with ourselves let alone other people.

Perfect example: Profiles. Take a look. You include your positive traits, you post your best pictures, you list the desirable traits you want in a partner. You respond to people's inquiries that you find interesting, appealing based on what they've written about themselves. How many responses do you imagine I would get if I wrote the God's honest truth? Depressed female that is so lonely, life barely seems worth living anymore. Need someone to rescue me from the hell I'm in. I have nothing to offer you as I don't think I'm capable of love. I can pretend though. I'm good at that. If you've got problems, I can't help you. Hell I can't help myself. Don't tell me to go find a shrink and get some help because they'd lock me away forever once they found out my deepest darkest thoughts. I'm not willing to go to an insane asylum, I'd rather be dead. So if there's any good looking man out there of sound mind, body and soul who wants to be with a complete wreck, please respond.

Before you all start calling out the paddy wagon with the men in white jackets carrying the fancy buckled coat, hear me out. It's how I feel at this moment. It's the truth but not the whole truth and nothing but the truth. My feelings will change. Everyone's do. Your heart gets broken by the one you love, and you wail but why did he lie to me, why wasn't he honest, he said he loved me. Guess what honey? He may have believed he did at the moment he said it but he doesn't now. Deal with it. And if he was lying, does it really matter? You're still just as hurt.

My point in this extremely lengthy post is that honesty, honestly, is overrated. We don't want the truth. We want to feel good about ourselves and the world around us. We want to make people happy, not hurt them. Everyone's wants and needs are different, and everyone expresses them differently, but we all seek love. Love of ourselves and love from those in our lives. Those of you lucky enough to have found it, treasure it. Those of you still looking like me, keep looking. It's out there. And the next time someone asks you a question, think honestly before you answer with honesty.

I want people to be honest with me period...

Sometimes honesty hurts- but then so does life...

JMO

the movie is A Few Good Men


i think.

Honestly, honestly gets my applause. I have been a member for a couple of weeks and the respone has been good. Before I wrote my profile I thought who would respond if I told the honest truth. I'm loney, depressed and sad most of the time. The other times however I am happy, upbeat, and sassy. How do you express these rollercoaster emotions without seeming to be bi-polar????????I laugh as I write this because it is the honest truth.

I will be honest with ya MS Teddy, u are HOT!!!!!

wow girl...you wrote that from the heart and you are so right..people on her only tell you the good things..not usually any bad stuff about themselves....but its the net they can act however they want...i myself try to be honest as much as possible... I will tell they guys im not a barbie not in any way...lol....i think everyone gets depressed just deal with different stuff on different days but yeah it gets hard to deal with at times...broke hearts are the worse...being mislead in a relationsship is bad too...makes it hard to trust people...I wish you luck and I wish for you a brighter day...and yes im being honest....

We all put our best face forward. Frankly, who wants pictures of someone first thing out of bed anyway. Nothing wrong with it.

As for being honest...I would hope we are honest with ourselves first. If you're not ready for a relationship, and here for just friends, admit that to yourself.

You bring up some very good points that most of us think about daily anyway, but you finally expressed those thoughts. Good for you.

Honesty if first and foremost for most people who have been hurt. At least it should be. :)

ding, ding, ding, gold star for Box...

Thanks, it honestly escaped me.

Boy you sure know a lot of people on here! Tell me about the people who are honest but extremely dilusional. Sits down cross legged on the floor, opens box of animal crackers and half pint of milk.

I applaud you for putting into words what we were all thinking but too scared to say.

Good post MissWright. Actually, honesty attracts me, because I think people who only see or speak of wonderful good things are only trying to fool themselves and others. Talking about what is NOT good is actually a turn on for me, believe it or not. In this life, you have to take the good with the bad, and anyone who only has the good is obviously hiding from the bad.

Too bad that too often, we only look at the appearance, and make a decision based entirely on that as to whether we are even going to take any time to get to know someone at all. If I had a dollar for every girl I wrote to who didn't like my picture or what I said in my profile and never replied, or replied once and then stopped writing, I would be a rich man about now...

Thank you to those brave enough to respond, either on here or to my email. The world would be a better place if people could be honest, with themselves and with others. It's a cruel world, always has been, always will be. It's how we deal with it that matters. I've done alot of soul searching recently as I approach my 38th birthday on Sunday, which is why I felt inclined to post this. I've come to the conclusion that my whole life has been a lie because I was too afraid to be honest with myself. I quit my job today. I don't know what I'm going to do now, but I do know that I'm going to walk the rest of this road with my head held high. I may not have a penny to my name, or a partner to walk it with me, or the respect and admiration of others, but I will have peace knowing that I'm following my heart for the first time in my life. I'm scared, but I'm alive and I thank God for that. He will see me through. Wish me well folks. And if one person reads this and gains the strength to make changes in their life, then I have succeeded in doing what I set out to do.

misswright,you make a very good point and i applaud you for pointing it all out.i doubt it will change anything but atleast maybe people will think about what you said

Mikey thinks I'm HOT...
(jumping up and down)
You are being honest right?

Mikey