Stage Four's Hurt

I scream
there's nothing like this pain
it feels as if I'm enduring
life
over and over
and
over again
only to know that life
isn't this one moment in time
but this one moment
is all that I have

I love you
more than there are reasons for the sun to rise
more than
who I am
because without you
I am no one
so
I scream
knowing that I am alone now
that I am fighting
this moment
this day
this seemingly eternity
because you have left me

It wasn't your choice
it wasn't something that was decided by
your smile
your laughter
your kindness
for now
reasons don't matter
why doesn't matter
only this pain
this torment
this loneliness
and how cancer took you from me

And it hurts so much