Topic: "Must not be seeking an intimate encounter"
Mike6615's photo
Sat 10/01/16 01:01 PM
Perhaps a moderator who's familiar with the emailing rules should answer this:

Very often under "Must meet the following conditions" to email a woman, "Must not be seeking an intimate encounter" is written. Exactly what should this be interpreted as--no sex until re-marriage, or is it a signal to men who are looking only for sex or sex too early not to respond? Don't want to respond incorrectly.

yellowrose10's photo
Sat 10/01/16 01:06 PM
It means if you are seeking an intimate encounter or the wrong gender, they don't want to talk. It is based off of what is on the other person's profile. They aren't looking for sex. They are looking for friends, dating, relationship, etc

no photo
Sat 10/01/16 03:02 PM
under "Must meet the following conditions" to email a woman, "Must not be seeking an intimate encounter" is written. Exactly what should this be interpreted as

A lot of online dating sites used the same template to start.

At one point there were specific choices for your profile in a drop down box for the question "what kind of relationship are you seeking?" Like "dating, relationship, friends, activity partner, marriage, intimate encounter."

When filling out your profile you are asked a mandatory relationship type sought question.
Then you have to choose from the list of relationship types. A,B,C,D,E,F.

You'd have the option to go to mail settings and choose to not receive emails from other people based on them choosing A,B,C,D,E,and/or F.

So if you wanted an "A" relationship, you could keep from receiving emails from people that indicated on their profile anything but "A."

Then at the bottom of your profile it would read "must meet the following conditions: Must not be seeking B,C,D,E, and/or F."

Most people weren't averse to different types as they weren't clear.
Does looking for dating mean dating leading to a relationship?
Or dating and never ever getting into a relationship?
Does relationship mean just jumping into relationship without dating?
Or does relationship mean dating, but leading to a relationship?
Does friends mean friends first or only ever friends?

Intimate encounter as relationship type chosen pretty much always = "I just want a one night stand or FWB or cyber sex."

So that email restriction was almost always chosen to try to avoid "creepers" from emailing them.

Eventually many/most sites tweaked the programming so people that chose intimate encounter as relationship type on their profile, even if they changed it later, if they'd ever done a search for that type of relationship, or had ever emailed people that had chosen intimate encounter as desired relationship type, were included in the email restriction so could never email people that chose to restrict that relationship type from contacting them.


I think most websites eventually did away with the "intimate encounter" choice for relationship type desired on new profiles.

If this site is one of those then you encountered an old profile that still lists that email restriction.

Otherwise it just means "if you chose the website offered intimate encounter choice on your profile as the type of relationship you are looking for, the website will keep you from contacting me, so if you try to contact me and it doesn't go through, you can read my restrictions and figure out why."


Dodo_David's photo
Sat 10/01/16 03:18 PM

Perhaps a moderator who's familiar with the emailing rules should answer this:

Very often under "Must meet the following conditions" to email a woman, "Must not be seeking an intimate encounter" is written. Exactly what should this be interpreted as--no sex until re-marriage, or is it a signal to men who are looking only for sex or sex too early not to respond? Don't want to respond incorrectly.



Mike6615, your Mingle2 profile says at the top, "Looking for woman for relationship". Thus, you will be able to send a private message.

Some men have at the top of their profiles, "Seeking an intimate encounter". Such men can't send a private message.

motowndowntown's photo
Sat 10/01/16 06:43 PM
Has intimacy problems?

Mike6615's photo
Sat 10/01/16 07:44 PM
Thanks to all who responded. Yellowrose10's advice seems to be the most succinct. I just didn't want someone I email to getting upset, saying something like, "Didn't you read my profile which reads, "Not seeking an intimate encounter? Why did you even email me?"

no photo
Sat 10/01/16 08:22 PM

Perhaps a moderator who's familiar with the emailing rules should answer this:

Very often under "Must meet the following conditions" to email a woman, "Must not be seeking an intimate encounter" is written. Exactly what should this be interpreted as--no sex until re-marriage, or is it a signal to men who are looking only for sex or sex too early not to respond? Don't want to respond incorrectly.

OP...for a user to NOT get your message, they would've had to have enabled the no intimate encounter email filter. Since, by another users post YOU are looking for a relationship....NOT an intimate encounter...so your email would be received.
Now...if you mention an intimate encounter in your email, the user might say "frick you" and not reply back or even block you.

Mike6615's photo
Sat 10/01/16 08:44 PM
Now it may be getting complicated again. Should a person who's wiling to hold off sex until BOTH people feel comfortable about it at some future point, never even email another who states, "Must not be seeking an intimate encounter"? No intimacy--EVER?

Annagram's photo
Sat 10/01/16 08:50 PM
"An intimate encounter" is singular... meaning one night stand.

Or at least that's how you'd interpret it if you're a stickler on grammar.



no photo
Sat 10/01/16 09:06 PM
Now it may be getting complicated again.
No...no it's not, you're just making it complicated.. ..

Madcatlady01's photo
Sat 10/01/16 09:51 PM
In my experience even guys who have specified wanting a relationship waste no time turning chat into sexting. Nothing wrong with that between 2 consenting adults but it's not really getting to know someone with a view to developing a real relationship is it?

But if I contacted a guy with intimate encounter on his profile I know to expect a sexually orientated chat.


Mike6615's photo
Sun 10/02/16 06:01 AM
Thanks to all again. A lot more clearer now.