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| Topic: made it through | |
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That's a tough one to answer Cali. I personally allow myself to feel things honestly, and i avoid people who are well meaning, but who do not allow me to feel my emotions honestly. That is the people that are always quick to say "Don't cry" , "Get over it" or "cheer up" .when I feel sad, people dismissing my problems and implying that I am weak, stupid or dramatic makes me feel worse for some odd reason  They are trying to comfort me in the best way they can, so I embrace their intent but as a rule, I stay away from people like that until I am over my feelings, and just tell them about it afterward so they can celebrate with me at the finish line. As for the memories of relationships that are now history, for me personally, there are some memories that were good in the past but make me feel sad now because of the way relationship ended. I put bittersweet feelings like that into a box in my head /heart called "growing pains " Growing pains for me, are like the necessary rites of passage we go through in our physical development, like wisdom teeth,the flu, menstrual cramps etc , the necessary pains we go through to become the person we are today. You dont have to try to savor memories that feel bad to you. Just acknowledge it like all the other growing pains of life that brought you to this place of wisdom, strength and maturity. And yes. it does help ALOT to throw your mind and energy into projects and activities that make you smile or feel useful. That feeling helps some of the bad sensations go away I think :) well shared and said!  kisses for you lovely peggy  |
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Stay busy and do whatever you can not to think about it. Thinking about it makes it worse and prolongs healing from it.
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Time to lick my wounds. And at some point analyze what happened, what was said, where it went wrong, and so on, so I can learn from it. With time the pain gets less and you get ready to move on again. Duration depends on how long the relationship lasted and /why it ended. And personality of course. For instance, I can process real fast, but my emotions take a longer time to heal. But looking back on the last breakup, I do process things real fast. Mostly because I refuse to remain stuck and revel in feeling sorry for myself. I can relate to what Crystal had said. After my break up I was really hurt, I cried yes it's normal. I had to lick my wound for a time , just be alone and walk down memory lane and try to analyze things why it happened. I read all our conversations and replayed the time we spent together on and on till I finally accept and acknowledge to myself where did I go wrong or what were the things that we both missed out why it didn't work. I faced and accepted the reality , and tried to move on. I have learned in my past not to waste my time feeling sorry for my self. Time heal all wounds yes, you will still feel the pain but don't let time steal your opportunities to be happy....see how and why it ended , learn from it and have the courage to move on. I am just so fortunate that I am resilient though the pain still stings I just try to ignore it and focus instead on the things ahead. Try to be positive. I understand it's hard to get over someone you have loved but then you will end up a loser if you will let time and opportunity to be happy and love again slip away.Don't dwell in your past, remember the good memories and let go of the bad memories  
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the most painful part of letting go is knowing that all the great memories you have had built together were all turns to history. .....I still hold on while I still believe in LOVE....but seriously am very weary  here's the part of it I hate... I walked away from my house that I painted and decorated my garden, all the flowers I spent years planting watched as a new family moved in I see other couples that have been married as long as I was going on vacations, golfing together, walking on beach buying the big 5th wheel and going camping and it pisses me off somedays |
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the most painful part of letting go is knowing that all the great memories you have had built together were all turns to history. .....I still hold on while I still believe in LOVE....but seriously am very weary here's the part of it I hate... I walked away from my house that I painted and decorated my garden, all the flowers I spent years planting watched as a new family moved in I see other couples that have been married as long as I was going on vacations, golfing together, walking on beach buying the big 5th wheel and going camping and it pisses me off somedays of course, then I remind myself that even if I was still with that bastage we would not be doing any of that happy couple stuff one of the reasons I left |
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I am going through a breakup myself right now. I know that this time will be very hard to get over. The worst part for me is that I let him down and it's my stupidity.
Take it one day at a time ...I will only think of the good times and hope I don't make the same mistakes again. It will get easier in time guaranteed 
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the most painful part of letting go is knowing that all the great memories you have had built together were all turns to history. .....I still hold on while I still believe in LOVE....but seriously am very weary here's the part of it I hate... I walked away from my house that I painted and decorated my garden, all the flowers I spent years planting watched as a new family moved in I see other couples that have been married as long as I was going on vacations, golfing together, walking on beach buying the big 5th wheel and going camping and it pisses me off somedays Yeah, I've been there too, not the part about the other couple living happily ever after in 'my' home, but the garden and all the decorating of the house. We had the buyer come over when we were still moving out the last bits & bobs so he could start painting the walls. THAT was painful ... But it dissipated rather quickly. The one thing that was painful after my last breakup was leaving the gorgeous newly built & decorated huge bedroom behind with the huge walk-in closet that mostly I designed (both the entire room and the closet). But yeah, then I got to decorate my current home exactly the way I wanted to. Freedom! :) And I got a huge garden. |
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