Is it wrong to become a loner out of fear? Or to stay single? So you take away the fear or push it way down enough to allow yourself to be fooled into loving another to be burned again? Is it a bad to stay single bcs you do not wish any bs in your life?

I personally do not believe anyone should allow fear of anything to rule a decision just wondering what others think about this sentiment.

TO BE FULLY HUMAN WE NEED TO LOVE AND BE LOVED. WITHOUT LOVE IN OUR LIVES IT

STUNTS OUR GROWTH AND LEAVES OUR LIVES WITHOUT A SPECIAL JOY THAT MAKES OUR

LIVES FULL AND EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY. LOVE IS A SPECIAL CONNECTION TO LIFE THAT

EVERYONE REALLY NEEDS.

WHEN WE HUMANS ARE BORN WE HAVE BUILT IN SYSTEM THAT IS ALWAYS SCANNING FOR

DANGER. ITS WHAT HAS KEPT THE HUMAN RACE SAFE OVER MILLIONS OF YEARS. I SEE IT

ALSO IN OTHER MAMMALS.SOMETIMES IT WILL GET IN OUR OWN WAY AND CREATE PROBLEMS

BECAUSE WE ALSO HAVE ANOTHER SYSTEM THAT ONCE WE FIND THE ANSWER TO SOMETHING

STARTING OFF AS CHILDREN WE SAY TO OURSELVES ''OK I GOT IT, THATS THE

ANSWER''.THE PROBLEM IS WE DON'T UPDATE THE INFO AS WE GROW UP BECAUSE WE

''ALREADY HAVE THE ANSWER''.

Not if you don't mind the consequences.
If you're a loner out of fear and you're all complainy and whiny about it like "where all the good ones?! Why are they all a-holes? Why don't they get to know me first?!"

Then it's "wrong."


If someone is primarily motivated by fear there is not really any pushing it down or ignoring it and its effects.

All you can do is not acknowledge how it's influencing you.

Someone ruled by fear, motivated to stay away from people, "pushing down fear" to then go find someone are simply not realizing that the people they choose are going to be chosen to validate the fear.

It's just an interplay with natural desires and emotions that are already there (people naturally seek others), colluding with perceived goals based on fear influencing their goals.

So "I'm lonely" and "I fear being hurt" = find someone that will ultimately prove your fear right.


Not really "bad" so much as "naive" to believe that avoiding dating or staying single will lead to avoiding bs in life.


Letting fear rule a decision is really no different than letting happiness, hunger, sadness, anger, hatred, or joy, rule.
One emotion is no better than another.

IMO the "problem" is letting "fear" (or whatever emotion) rule a decision while pretending, or simply not seeing, that it's fear, and that it is influencing a decision.

Wise words I like it. But if euphoria with everything, fear, or whatever else rules us period. Wouldn't it be safe to say some sort of emotion no matter the emotion guides us then?

Thanking everyone for their answers

The problem with ignoring your fears, tamping them down and going ahead, is that if things do go wrong again, you wont be able to learn from the new mistakes. Not that you will repeat the old ones.

So no,I will NOT say that it is wrong for someone to wait for whatever reason they do.

But what a person does need to do at the same time, is to work to more fully understand their fears, and to know the walls that they have put up for protection, in thorough detail, lest they end up confusing their bandages, with their emotional skin.

Desperado,The song by the eagles comes to mind here. It was written about me I think but the lyrics describe a person letting fears keeping them from reaching out for love

Don't look for love be heartless but still talk to guys go out with guys and love might find you

My fav band of all time

I hope not, if there is I am in big trouble! LOL I'm holding out for a man I can love and be loved by without a lot of drama and bs.

Very well said.

Me, I am not single because I am afraid; I just like the freedom of being able to come and go as I please. Too much BS being coupled up.