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((((((((((((((((((((((peachie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

how ya been girl?






Hiya Caam

((((mommy)))



come in to watch me win


too cool




WINNER

super dee duper!1 how bout urself sweetie




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nope came to show ya how its done!






Winner

Getting Better all the time!!






winner

anouncer speaks........everyone make way for the winner

<----------thats me

thanks for clearing the way for me!!

i da wiener uh yeah i meant winner

Oh ya think, eh?









Look out, I'm here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

puts hand up to shield bright shining light from trophy where are ya at?? wanna come see my trophy

ladies this ones for you


This may apply or may not

John

Oil Change instructions for Women:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last
oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
vehicle.

Money spent:
Oil Change:$20.00
Coffee: $1.00
Total:$21.00


Oil Change instructions for men :

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil,
filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for
$50.00.

2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.

3) Open a beer and drink it.

4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7) Place drain pan under engine.

8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent wrench.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process.
Cuss.

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw
kitty litter on spilled oil.

13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter
and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash
can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to
gasket surface.

18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

19) Remember drain plug from step 11.

20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

21) Drink beer.

22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty
litter on oil spill.

23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.

24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag
used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain
plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles
and frame.

25) Begin cussing fit.

26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.

28) Beer.

29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

30) Beer.

31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

32) Beer.

33) Lower car from jack stands..

34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
any missed steps.

35) Beer.

36) Test drive car.

37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

38) Car gets impounded.

39) Call loving wife, make bail.

40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts:$50.00
DUI:$2500.00
Impound fee:$75.00
Bail:$1500.00
Beer:$20..00
Total:$4,145.00

But you know the job was done right!

SEND THIS TO WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH...... AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE
IT....




winner

roflmao good one caam!! luv it



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winner

heres another for ya

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?



winner

go off the drop off it aint that far afterall the fire trucks there to help me and we could also use the animals to get me out



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to funny Caam









winner

no
get your drunk A$$ of the merry go round





winner