Well, it depends upon what stage you are in a relationship. At, the very beginning all that REALLY matters is how the other person looks, that is everybody's criteria BTW. So, you friend's opinion doesn't mean squat at that point.

A little further in, let your friend throw you some warnings that they see. But, don't let them sabotage the relationship for you. Hey, friends get jealous. If they aren't happy they don't want you to be either.

When you are in the hot love zone your insight is shot. You can't see a semi heading straight for you. This is the time your friend can help you watch out for dangerous corners.

After the honeymoon period is gone and your still together, your friend can really help you see long term issues more clearly.

If you make it to marriage, you are screwed. It doesn't matter if you have friends or not. The good life is over. Where is the gun to the head emoticon?

Hahahaha all of that is freakin golden ^^^

Pretty important since I know what they base their approval on, how to read their motives, and when to respect it and when not to, more often than not.


This doesn't really convey anything meaningful.
I don't know what your "friend" boundaries expectations or criteria are.

For all I know you were abused by men and left by your dad at a young age, so you were attracted to her as a "friend" because she offered a safe daddy surrogacy.

For all I know if you threaten her position or getting what she wants out of your relationship she will sabotage it.


This doesn't convey anything meaningful either.
Mostly because I don't know you.
You're just a picture and some text on my computer screen.

For all I know no one knows you at all, and because she remembers your eyes are green (or whatever color) and knows where you live, then that fulfills the criteria that she knows you better than anyone.

Also, for all I know you have low esteem.
And for all I know she absolutely hates you but likes to use you for things, thereby validating the idea that you aren't really worth anything except as an object to use.
Which fulfills the criteria that her opinion really matters to you, since her opinion validates yours.


That doesn't mean anything.
What would prove that you were "best" at selecting men for yourself?

What if what you truly, deep down, core personality, true motives, individual desire, is to maintain your independence and freedom, the feeling of power that comes with choice, and just have fun, get laid occasionally, but avoid the social labels, being labelled "easy" or "slut," and maybe you bought into the idea of a ruling patriarchy that victimizes women but ultimate happiness relies on marriage and finding love and forever with/by a man?

If that were the case, your "true" desire, then every failed relationship, every time you were used for sex, every time it didn't work out but you pretended to try, you went through the motions...would actually be a success in fulfilling what you "really" want, and you would actually be the best at selecting men for yourself in getting what you truly want.

I mean this:

Could easily translate to: "Any guy that presented the danger of leading to what I'm supposed to want, the facade of living up to socially ingrained ideals, I sabotaged in order to get away and make sure that didn't happen. But every guy where it was guaranteed to fail at some point, I simply kept around, using them for my own ends and gratification, until that breaking point where it ended, allowing me to feel like a victim or push all responsibility onto them."


That isn't conveying any relevant information.
For all I know your friend is simply validating you, telling you what you want to hear, possibly having it manipulated out of her by you.


Do you honestly believe you have that power over yourself?
You honestly believe you have such power and control that you can just flip a switch like that?
Is power and control so central to your identity that you have to believe yourself capable of being able to choose exactly when and how much you bond with them? Complete and utter power to define to other people when, where, how, how much, and what it means, "serious?"


I don't really see a plan.
I see an attempt at emotional communication without a lot of anything meaningful.

It would be far different if it was something more like:
"I have a friend that continuously shows great judgment when it comes to people. Very intuitive with lots of foresight and the ability to conceptualize future interaction. Her opinions seem to be based on rational thought rather than knee jerk reactions, or potential emotional insecurities.
To me this is evidenced by (x,y,z).
I usually don't seek her opinion on people until after I become seriously emotionally attached to them.
I think I am going to start going on double dates with her, or bringing dates out with me and her, in order to get her views before I get too attached.
I'm hoping she will provide feedback to help me choose a guy for (x) purpose, because what I'm doing now doesn't seem to be fulfilling that."

That would be a plan.

As presented in the OP it's just "I really like this girl. She should tell me what to do. Then I can make the relationship I want."

I see you do this on every thread you go into so I can only imagine this is your MO. That's fine if you were offering some sort of helpful advise but all you really did was point out how you felt I was wrong.

Good luck with that, you should just go ahead and plan on staying single.

i gather i am not your best friend because i don't have a clue of what you folks are talking about

I 100% agree with this point... ..