the way i was taught was everytime i went in my underwear they took me outside and sprayed me down with the hose. i learned really fast.

























just kidding.

Generallly developemental markers and timing is always the key to potty training.

For different kids it is always different but generally if a child doesn't have certain physical developemental markers that tend to jive with other body developement you are making you and your child crazy trying too soon. Can your child walk heel toe easily and co-ordinate their gate? A toddler or preschooler who is still tippy toeing when they run doesn't have the muscle cordination to to control their bladder. Some children don't develope this ability compleately until they are 7 years old. A child that has difficulty coordinateing dressing and undressing themselves is also in for an uphill battle. You can help by adjusting your clothing choices but until the equipment is fully matured you are going to have to be patient.

As a parent, daycare operator, and foster parent, and now Grandma I have found making the bathroom a comfortable place to do business and not an entertainment theater will take a lot of the drama and power play out of the process. I am not a big supporter of the whole toilet princess drama. Bribes often backfire as they either are not impressed or up the anty.

Stickers on the potty or a chart are not a big distance from stickers on your furniture and walls so be careful what you teach to a child who does not have the understanding to really put the concepts together. Yes kids respond to praise and have more success with less stress but often you are having sucess because you are catching onto their capacity not their undertanding or engageing their cooperation. Kid's can't "pee to please" anymore than you can. Giving candy especially chocolate my be counter productive because it frequently causes allergic reactions, and caffine increases urgency. So will adding scents to the bathroom. Kids are very sensitive to artificial "good" smells and often oblivious to natural "bad" smells.

Many of my children did not have a potty chair and learn to get on and off a normal size toilet with a comfortable step stool and installing a small single piece towel grab bar near one side for balance. More than once a tipped over potty chair or a seat that pinched defeated the cause for weeks. One frequent problem is NOT to flush for your child. Often it frightens them or angers them that you dispose of their "product". It is often a false positive that they have actually voided and doesn't allow you to note if they are in fact passing normal urine and BM's.

Constipation or diareha is a major barrier to happy potty training. DO NOT give a child a laxitive with out consulting your pediatrician. Do not confuse laxitives and stool softeners the latter being what I believe is most often what is accepted. NEVER EVER give a small portion of adult medication as you can KILL your child or cause serious life threatening diarreha or anal injury. DO NOT restrict fluids or over hydrate your child because both are a health risk.

And changeing your child's diet undermine your goal. Make no mistake potty training is an adult goal much more than it is a child's goal. For children it is socialization and the natural instinct to not foul their own territory. ALL kids however play in their urine and BM's at one stage or another. It might be gross but actually digesting some of it will not usually harm them so no need to react as if they have just consumed poison.

Training starts early by quietly and quickly taking your child to the bathroom to change diapers. Kids learn to tolerate wet underwear and having boo boo's were ever as natural if they see the whole world as a bathroom. Don't even attempt to potty train until you have learned your child's routine by charting when they are most likely to be wet or have BM's for a couple of weeks. Then slowly start offering to take your child to the bathroom slightly before. Sometimes the process of washing hands can trigger the urge and I recommend it as a pre-toileting routine; especially for little girls who are often more sensitive to infections. The human body is actually quiet trainable and having a regular "pit stop" will make your sucess rate go up. I am a huge fan of switching to pull ups over diapers about a month before because occasionally children will naturally potty train themselves if you make it relatively easy. When ever a child starts takeing off a diaper that is a good sign it is time. Unless you are one of the deluded souls that think a diaper has to have a load before it is changed. I know diapers are really expensive but generics and shopping around even going on line for coupons can relieve some of the expense. WARNING never give your child's personal info online You are asking for ton's of unwanted junk mail and even their identity theft.

I personally am not a big fan of transferring the responsibility to toilet training to siblings. This is a foundation time to teach your child about their own and others modesty, privacy, and where it is approriate for someone to touch them. Siblings and extended family are nortorious for telling your child the wrong things or resenting or overtaking the responsibility.

It is sad to say this is also a time your child can become a victim of abuse by older children if only a couple years or more or adults. Sometimes it is not so much intended abuse because you are setting the stage for curiosity and sometimes experimenting. I can distinctly remember a number of children who had particularly serious infections from inserting crayons, candy, gum, toothpaste, soaps or other things that did not easily pass or show up on Xrays.

This is an excellent time for parents to retrace there steps about poison prevention and kid proofing the bathroom. If you are toilet training NEVER assume your child can't drown in a toilet or have a severe scald burn or electricution from dropping a electronic into water or putting hairpins in plugins. It is very easy for kids to get the wrong things in other people's bathrooms so never assume that it is a safe environment.

NEVER EVER allow you child to go to a public bathroom alone. They are a predator's personal playground. DO NOT assume a WOMAN is not a predator. Almost universally family bathrooms do exist and even men can take a child to a public bathroom so Dad's no excuses about public toileting or not being and escort when needed. If you have to almost any major retailor, airport, will allow you to to take a female child into a female bathroom if no family bathroom exists. In a strange place don't overlook the use of a hospital or firestation for a safe clean place to pitstop after hours.

For older kids; six and above, that are particularly difficult to potty train don't take no for an answer if your general practioner refuses to discuss the issue. Kid's need to be seen by kid doctors. Most of the time, if you ask the lab that you are most probably going to be referred to for a specimin will give you a "hat" for a "clean catch" that is much easier to get at home. Usually they are going to look for the most common opportunistic infections like yeast infections or pinworms. If you have a pet, a yard, or go to the park these are common and usually correctable problems. If you EVER see blood in urine or unusual colors in bowel movements go directly to the pediatrician do not pass go. Same goes for children who complain of chronic or lasting for hours abdominal pain with no other symptoms such as sniffles or single episode vomiting. Diarehea times two is significant call your doctor and if your child is weakened take them to a doctor. These are NOT simple potty training dramas to be ignored.

In the case of a "late blooming" female child I would consider offering mini pads over diapers or pull ups if "dribble" boo boo's are a problem from a cost factor but again this is something to talk to the kid doctor about if not a pediatric urologist. If your child was premature or been in an accident there may be a correctable problem. If you child has a incontinence problem at school try to be discreet and handle it matter of factly. Be aware that ALL teacher's and caregivers are NOT tolerant and tell your child that this is an issue you are going to work together on and in NO WAY relects on their self worth or their future abilities to do well nor should it be punished.

Last but not least think about TIMING. What else is going on in your child's life. Has there been a change or a loss. Has a new person come into the family picture? Is it their peak allergy season? Are they excited and over stimulated by the holiday's? I don't see associateing body functions with the joy of gift giving or fantasy figures in your child's world. Giving your child nightmares about being punished by or rewarded will only make them sleep deprived and make them less attuned to what their body signals are.

***FOOTNOTE Even kidding about publicly humiliateing a child for incontinence is totally inapproriate and illegal. If a child is three or four it is ok to involve them in a matter of fact changeing their clothes, cleaning themself up, and even the responsibility to put wet clothing or bedding into the tub or laundry areas. Public hoseing off of their body or there bedding is ABUSIVE and can and will put you and your child at risk for out-of-home placement so I DO NOT recommend it.

ok kids no more getting sprayed with the hose

this summer it is abusive


THEY said so

My parents were really mean about it...they just told me they wouldn't buy me a car without being potty trained...

Of course, I WAS 17 at the time.

This is good advice.

My wife used to bring my daughter in every time SHE had to go to show her its just natural. Never had a problem with her or my son using this method.

My son was like that. They say they are ready when they are ready. You have to remember in the rehlm of things its no biggie. I think I tried to start my son to early, so thus it took longer!

I just want to share one thing that made potty training my boys GREAT and stress free...was when we went in public that is when I would sweat them wetting the most. So if we'd be coming out of the store (which is when it always was) they would all of the sudden grab themselves and say, "I HAVE TO GO POTTY". Well I got this urinal from the pharmacy. Costs like nothing...it's plastic and has a cover. Washes out...not a big deal. I would just let them go right in there. Just a great thing to have on the road...and I would imagine they may have some sort of version for women.

My wife and I used to be foster parents years ago. One time we had a four year old girl that wasn`t potty trained....One day my wife was watching a tv program"The Morning Exchange" in Cleveland Ohio. This lady was on the tv discussing this type of a situation. She told a story of how to teach the child with a story. The story goes: there is a poop party under your house. When you have to go potty (Toilet), you go potty, you wave bye bye to the poop as you tell the poop to go to the poop party under the house. Believe this or not, it worked.

My wife taught her a song:
I poop in the potty
And I pee in the potty

I`m a biggie girl
And i don`t go in my pants

Wave bye bye to the poop
Going to the poop party under the house
Bye Bye as the toilet flushes

I am not saying this works for everybody
but even before I had my own children I would start just before they were 1 yr old taking them to the bathroom and flushing the tolit as they were finished and when they were able to sit on the potty I would find something for them to enjoy while on the potty that they could not do any other time.

I tried to make them want to sit on the potty

each child was differant
things I had used was
coloring
music
video game
and one it was the only alone time(Thank God I had 2 restrooms)

I am caring for a 3 yr old now, and so far have found nothing which works with him