You Know You Are Addicted To Coffee If ....

You grind Your coffee beans in Your mouth.

You sleep with Your eyes open.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

The only time You're standing still is during an earthquake.

You can take a picture of Yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You've worn out Your third pair of tennis shoes this week.

Your eyes stay open when You sneeze.

You chew on other people's fingernails.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take Your pulse.

You're so jittery that people use Your hands to blend their margaritas.

You can type sixty words per minute with Your feet.

You can jump-start Your car without cables.

You don't sweat, You percolate.

You run twenty miles on Your treadmill before You realize it's not plugged in.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

People get dizzy just watching You.

Instant coffee takes too long.

You channel surf faster without a remote.

You have a picture of Your coffee mug on Your coffee mug.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

You short out motion detectors.

You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

You help Your dog chase its tail.

You soak Your dentures in coffee overnight.

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

You ski uphill.

You get a speeding ticket even when You're parked.

You answer the door before people knock.

You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

That's good, but you forgot to add "You're totally cool".

You forgot this one...

You know you're addicted to coffee when you have to go to meetings because of your addiction and it just totally ruins your life. Your wife leaves you, you lose the kids, the house, and your job. You will also know because while you are trying to fight your way through a 12 step program, your sponsor sees your number on caller ID and proceeds to commit suicide forthwith. You'll end up in a gutter in the alleyway behind a Starbuck's thinking, "I used to be somebody."

Hmmm...ok, this didn't turn out as funny as I thought it was...

I would seriously die without my coffee.

never drink it lol I think I ruined it for me when I started out with black coffee

good one orange cat!

better luck next time keewee!

That's all I drink, black coffee.

hmmm dont know then lol guese it wasnt made for me or I just never gave it a chance

Oh well, it's kind of like my drug I guess.

mountain dew was mine lol now I hate it

Have you ever let mountain dew sit in your car and get hot from the sun and then drink it??? EEEWWWWWWWW nasty!

yes that is nasty lol

Do you like it klc? hack yuck spit gasp!

how someone like that ??

To me it's like drinking battery acid.


Not that I know what battery acid tastes like but umm, I bet that's close to what it tastes like.

pretty sure your dead on lol