I don't know why each time i put in everything into a relationship it backfires in the end. Maybe it's my natural niceness that puts me in this position. How can i stop this from ever happening again? Cos it's killing me.

Maybe it wasn't the right time for you . The right one is somewhere lurking you just have to find her , never change the person you are.

Your only 28 man....
But don't stop putting your all into your next relationship....
Don't give up and don't change....
She might be...The One....

Maybe you are codependent, addicted to love, or the other person is a narcissist.

Thank you for the encouragement.

Maybe you are putting too much into it. By that I mean that maybe she feels that you are too clingy, needy or dependent on her. Take it slow and see how things go. Time is always the best way to see if things will work out.

lots of "maybes" in the world... try asking the women and see what they say... they're the only ones that know why

Are you coming across to strong and it freaks her out?

Depends on what this means.

I mean for a lot of people it means:

- "I put 6 pies into the relationship, I demand at least 6 pies back, and you're responsible for the exchange rate. You try to give me 8 cakes? Well, that's not what I put into it, and I don't know what 8 cakes is worth in pies which I do understand, so you're the a-hole for not putting as much into it as me."

- "This woman kept telling me 'no' and she wasn't looking for a commitment, but I kept getting her flowers, and remembering holidays, I treated her like my girlfriend, I paid for everything, but she started seeing another guy, or said she loved me but wasn't in love with me or wanted to be just friends! I put everything into that and she allowed me to treat her like my girlfriend!"

- "I dated this woman. I thought everything was fine, she was happy and we clicked. But then she didn't call back, or just kept blowing me off. I did everything right! I texted her at the end of every date to make sure she got home okay, I asked permission to hold her hand, I never talked about sex at all, I always asked where she wanted to go and said I don't care it's all about you when she asked me where I wanted to go, I always had a huge grin on my face as I stared deep into her eyes, I catered to her every whim and always waited for her to tell me what she wanted, making myself available 24/7!"

- Sometimes communication sucks and the reason why it feels you put everything into the relationship is because you just had to perform more stressful things in order to generate a minimal response you understand so you know what's going on.
Kind of like talking to someone who doesn't speak your language. You start speaking louder, and your hand, face, and body gestures start becoming more exaggerated, falling back on what you think is universal, causing more stress as they don't understand but they keep talking.

Among other things.
"Put everything into a relationship" is too vague a concept.



Never get into a relationship with anyone ever again.
That's the only way to stop this from ever happening again.
Otherwise, there are no guarantees.
...Unless you want to go the sex slave route.
As long as the other person has free will, there's a possibility this will happen again.

Well until you meet the right partner there is always going to be breakups..
Like my grandma used to say, you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet...

Hmmm... or was that you have to have sex with a few chickens in order to get the eggs to break to make a omelette... grandma was a little bit off her rocker..lol

lol

Not at all.

^^ This one.
Good advice, joeminn

You should always hold alittle bit back of yourself. Always be you and true but dont completely let go cause each time you do a little bit of you will be lost and soon you wont know who you are if your heart is in the wrong hands x

yea, being to nice always ends relationships... women hate nice guys...

Is there such a thing as to nice.....

Don't let a failed relationship change the niceness in you, it's who and what you are as a whole person. When you love someone it is only right that you give your all in your relationship. It's up to your partner if she would accept you for everything that you are and with your flaws. If she doesn't know how to appreciate you then she is not the right one for you. But also take time to examine yourself,it always take two to tango. Have you tried to listen to her grievances intently? Did you acknowledge them? What have you done to resolve some issues between you. Were you willing to admit your faults and hers too? Were your feelings enough to hold on to each other? Did you really love her truly or you were you unsure of how you feel because of your own personal issues too? Did you really give everything you've got to make your relationship work? Did you try harder? Being nice is sometimes not enough, there are other important things that you should recognize, understand, accept and compromise in order to make it work out. But if after all your effort failed, then it's better that you let go. Don't be despair, if one door closed, another one will open....better opportunities will come your way....just be patient and keep your heart always open, don't let go of the love in your heart, hold on to it and give it when the right one comes along at the right time.

Thank you so much for the advice and encouragement.

What works sometimes is just don't be a pushover. It's great that people like you exist but more often than not...it goes unappreciated. Save it for later on in the relationship and just take it easy. Most people look at "too nice" as a weakness and or maybe insecure. That's my opinion anyways.