Scenario:

Stage 1: You meet someone online (in this case here in M2), get to know each other, realized you're attracted to each other physically and intellectually.

Stage 2: Your friendship gets deeper and you share your inner thoughts, about family life, work, emotions, etc.

Stage 3: You want to take the relationship deeper still because you are falling for the person or beacuase you've realized that you love each other deeply.

Question:
Which stage do you think you'll consider having sex with him/her?
Or do you love each other enough to wait till after marriage?

Your thoughts please.

for me , it would feel natural after stage 3

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Then it's not an impossible questiuon afterall. Yes, couple need to discuss how deep they want their relationship to be. :)

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OOOOkkkkkkkk!

hey i broke it down good i like tha

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???

Dear Ms. Bug,

One can plan how to build a vehicle engine - all in the correct stages, but a relationship?

Let me tell you what I do. But please bear in mind that I am rarely conventional!

After each sexual relationship I go to the Sexually Transmitted Diseases Clinic and secure a clearance certificate. It doesn't happen often (as I do not chop and change partners) but when I do it takes the best part of a day and is slightly embarrassing even though it shouldn't be.

Once I have my certificate I feel happy, a little proud, and certainly very keen to hold onto my health!

A sensible person only risks their certificate if truly the right person comes along. It makes one careful and extremely partner choosy.

Once one opts out of the 'I don't care if I give you something nasty' style of living life becomes far easier and safer.

Wackford
X

i would consider it after stage 3, would feel it was the right time.

For me, sex would come after marriage.

Is sex just a recreational activity, or is it an expression of marital love.
For me, it is the latter.

Granted, my current belief is influenced by my age and experience.

myfairladybug, use this to decypher.

A sensible person only risks their certificate if truly the right person comes along. It makes one careful and extremely partner choosy.

Once one opts out of the 'I don't care if I give you something nasty' style of living life becomes far easier and safer.

Wackford
X
[/quote

Hi Wackford... I respect your preference. In context to what you shared ---- for me, it's Better to be safe and careful.

For me, sex would come after marriage.

Is sex just a recreational activity, or is it an expression of marital love.
For me, it is the latter.

Granted, my current belief is influenced by my age and experience.


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You are one in a million. And I mean it.
I had, had dates,( usually arranged by my friends), the men wanted to jump at me on the first date without really want to know me.
I had since, give up and not bother anymore.

"Your thoughts please"

Use your own moral compass, spiritually and instinct.

Only you can decide what is best for you.

For me, I would be after stage 3. Life is too short to not enjoy ourselves. And while I like the idea of having sex for the sake of the pure, raw, animal act of it filled with nothing but lust and passion (can happen at stage 1) - I do need to have an emotional connection with the person first and feel confident in knowing that they truly want to be with me and only me (hence stage 3 for me).

Doubt that will ever happen for me...but just do what your heart tells you and be happy.

Whenever I feel/think/believe I am willing to accept any consequences to sex with her. Whether that be accidental pregnancy or STD transfer or deeper biological bonding.

I don't believe the stages as listed/described are all that realistic to pragmatic reality.


I see "marriage" as occurring far in advance of the wedding ceremony.
That the ceremony is simply a means to communicate what has transpired internally.
...So I don't know what you mean by marriage.

I don't know if you mean "wait till after the state/government/your community (and/or officiating priest) legally recognize you as a married couple" or if you mean "pair bonded via the biological process of love that is actually important to emotional attachment."

I would wait for the latter, but not for the former as it's arbitrary.

It never matter what stage I was at, anytime I made the slightest hint at becoming more then friends the fallowing things would happen:

Stage 4: She starts giving me all types of reason why we can't even hang out any more (and some of the excuses have been pretty lame).

Stage 5: End of all communication (number no longer works, moves out of her apartment and quite often I never see her again).

Yep, when it come to relationships I'm just hosed.

Hiiiii.. saxy..