First, dating shouldn't be considered a race. There's a reason speed dating doesn't work for most.

I haven't exactly gave up on dating...just haven't been able to find someone on a close level to make dating a plausible option.

Hi

Yeah, that's another thing ... finding someone to just have a date for the heck of it isn't all that difficult. Finding someone you actually really like to meet, is another.
So far I've never even had a 2nd date. Not one. Not because they didn't want to, but I didn't. Once we both felt like, okay, nothing here, let's leave it at this. But have had some disappointed guys. Last one too. Makes me feel awkward, slightly guilty, even though I try to shake that off. I mean, the risk of it not being a right match, not even for a 2nd date, is part of it.
So in a way I feel like not dating unless I really really really want to see the guy. But that means you never date, well, once a year maybe. And not dating at all is advised against too. Best is to keep the 'dating muscle' trained and fit and to go out, be seen and see ppl yourself to increase your chances. And if nothing else, you should be having fun.
But yeah ...

yeah that one..
hun i dont want to be lucky about this
i dont want to fall in love
that makes me weak :(

I haven't bailed from the dating "race" yet, but lately I've been getting closer to making that decision. I'm too stubborn to give up on the belief that there is someone out there for me, but after two failed marriages and a couple of long term fiascoes I'm starting to think she won't find me/I won't find her.

Part of the problem is I have a pretty narrow focus on what traits I am seeking, specifically the requirement that she has her own motorcycle or at least completely understands the addiction I have to them. The other part of the problem is my heavyset body type (which I am working on changing, but a fact is a fact). Then there's my rural location, the fact that I'm semi-retired, over 50, etc, etc. There are simply not enough women close by to choose from and the various dating sites I've been on have been little more than meat markets for people with over-inflated opinions of themselves and unrealistic expectations of a potential match. It gets quite frustrating trying to find someone who has a profile that does not have red flags all through it and is truly written from the heart; even more so when I do find a profile like that and send them an introductory message only to be deleted and blocked with no reason given. I could go on, but then this would have to be moved to the "Profile Pet Peeves" thread.

Anyway. I've been on my own for two years now and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't beginning to feel okay to be single. I can do whatever I want whenever I want and don't have to answer to anyone but myself. I can keep the thermostat turned low at night, leave the toilet seat up, prepare the meals I want to eat, watch the movies I want to watch and if I want to lie on the couch in my track pants and scratch 'n sniff shirt all day Sunday, then that is what I'm going to do. And I'm going to have the dog curled up on the couch beside me the whole time.

I listen to my friends and acquaintances whine and complain incessantly about their spouses and I think; "Man, I don't miss that at all". I see the little mind games being played out in public and at restaurants by couples and I'm thankful I don't have to be a part of that. I look around my house, decorated my way for the first time in decades, and I feel thankful that all of my treasures accumulated over a lifetime don't have to be hidden downstairs in a basement because they don't match the drapes. And I giggle every time I walk into the bathroom and see a sink area free of clutter, then open the linen cabinet and see a full package of toilet paper sitting there. Really, my toilet paper budget has been cut in half, no, in quarter! since being on my own.

But there are occasions, more frequent than I care to admit, that I miss the soft caress of a woman, the tender kiss and the warmth of a hug from someone who truly loves me. I miss walking hand in hand through a town fair, dissing all the other people around us as we spend a day together in bliss and harmony. I miss waking up to laughing eyes and a playful smile, I miss sitting on the porch together watching the sunset. I miss the feeling of security and safety that comes from knowing I am loved with all my quirks and faults. So, I continue to play the dating game in the hopes that some day I'll find The One.

I'm not finding anyone I like, so I am losing interest.

because you are looking for it
because you are awaiting for it to happen
because you are tying some hopes and plans to it
because u have placed that idea in your mind that a man/ affair is essential for happiness
it is not!
just forget about it
live your life, with your friends, your family, your interest enjoy it.
it will come when u least expect it.

just comparing it to the rat race Scoober Doober

but you are right it should not be a race

I think sometimes people just need to step back and regroup or find themselves again. Its best to "steady the ship" until you are in a proper mind frame to date.Its very frustrating and after awhile all the mind games and set up dates start to pile up and anybody can get stressed out, just back off for awhile when your not looking that's when you find someone.

for it is only when you are not looking young grasshopper that you will find someone..ahhhh very Zen like

I want to date but the last few were failed attempts. There's something wrong with me or maybe them. lol Usually they come off as creepy, or a deadbeat, no aspirations, or CLINGY, and the occasional few that seem like jerks before the first date is even over. Maybe my past relationships have hardened me to see the signs of "run away". I also work with nothing but married people so I'm not even sure where to go to find a date these days.